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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have a baby at 45?

606 replies

Hope88 · 05/10/2011 14:53

I am thinking about having another child. But I would like to have a bigger gap between children which means I would be getting near 45. If it all goes well. Do you think it's selfish to have a child at 45? I just think I would be a better mother if I wait opposed to rushing into it and being really stressed out. Your thoughts please.

OP posts:
brdgrl · 07/10/2011 11:08

"I don't call names or throw out insults"

please consult the thread.

Helltotheno · 07/10/2011 11:10

I think the thread is restrained. I've seen worse.

Pity the subject matter is being treated as a mind game of sorts for some - hardly helpful to the op.

brdgrl · 07/10/2011 11:12

not so much wound up, as laughing at you.

so actually, if it weren't for the fact that it seems bad for the OP and her posts are a bit nasty in spirit...i guess iaislingorla has made me chuckle and feel good about my own life. it's a bit like the way i occasionally enjoy watching the really bad auditions on xfactor usa...

GetOrfMo1Land · 07/10/2011 11:14

Blimey - there are some bloody harsh views on here.

I actually think you can create arguments for and against motherhood at any age. However, not matter what the physical issues may be, I certainly don't think that the OP should automatically be scared of trying for a baby at 45. I would heartily say go for it. There is no optimum age for having a baby - everybody is different. I am at the opposite end of the spectrum (had a baby at 17 who is now a teen) and have been on the recieving end of age-related nastiness, and it is very demoralising.

As for being a mother of a teen in your 60s, I don't see the problem. Most 60 year olds I know have more energy about them than people my age (early 30s).

I have no idea why people take it upon themselves to be so damn judgemental of the OP.

Aislingorla · 07/10/2011 11:17

So why do you two keep up the commucation with me?

Yellow, hiliarious post, ''The Lady doth protest too much'' ?

AF,what about the little threat you you made about feeling sorry for me and ''we both know why, eh''? If that wasn't akin to playground bullying, I don't know what is. Low,very low!

GetOrfMo1Land · 07/10/2011 11:18

And relating to teenagers is a complete mystery whatever the age of the mother. I am 33 and dd is nearly 16 - sample of conversation yesterday morning 'can you PLEASE use words that I have the slightest chance of understanding, and stop mumbling under your breath because I cannot for the life of me hear what you are saying'

I don't think mothering a teen is any easier or harder for me than it is for a mother twice my age. They are a law unto themselves Grin

Yellowstone · 07/10/2011 11:26

Which post is hilarious Aisling? I thought they all were :(

Aislingorla · 07/10/2011 11:33

Getoff, I remember my Dad saying a similar thing to my brother.
I work with teens and do actually 'get them'. They want to be left to get on with things secure in the knowledge that you are there for them when they need you.
And ,yes ,it doesn't always come down to how old you were when you became a mother but, in some (perhaps lots of) cases older parents are less in touch with their teens.

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 07/10/2011 11:35

Just catching up with this thread been busy with my laundry this morning, you know making sure I wash with care.

Yellowstone · 07/10/2011 11:53

Different drugs for a start.

AnyF · 07/10/2011 12:12

that laundry-related stuff can be an absolute pain in the bottom

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 07/10/2011 12:13

Tell me about it AnyF very irritating and just never goes away

GetOrfMo1Land · 07/10/2011 12:16
Grin
AnyF · 07/10/2011 12:17

Just when you think you have got rid of one pile of it, another one appears

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 07/10/2011 12:19

and an other and an other and......................

Deux · 07/10/2011 12:23

I've just put the summer shoes/sandals/crocs in the washing machine. Smile

Deux · 07/10/2011 12:24

Oh, did someone say drugs?

MamaMaiasaura · 07/10/2011 12:52

LOL @ helltotheno 's comment
"no-one likes that sort of Judgemental twattery" Grin Grin

Too damn true.

Aislingorla · 07/10/2011 12:56

LOL @ all your comments, all of you are really funny!!!!!!!!!!!

Aislingorla · 07/10/2011 13:00

Especially AF, she 's a scream!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 07/10/2011 13:01

Never mind how often I try and wash with care some stains just won't shift.

bemybebe · 07/10/2011 13:01
Confused
hobnobsaremyfavourite · 07/10/2011 13:11
Grin
mummylin2495 · 07/10/2011 13:40

My sister married a much younger guy last year.She is 50 and pregnant with twins due next feb.! We are all very concerned for the safety of my sis and the babies,but so far so good.She is keeping well and is having monthly scans at the moment.She has had a test to check for Downs syndrome and all was well.She seems to be coping well and so far has only suffered normal things like morning sickness and at the moment sever heartburn.Her two children from her first marriage are both in their twenties,her Dh has no other children.For myself ,i would not choose to have babies this late ,but its her life and they are both very happy.

diyvspse · 07/10/2011 13:51

50 and pregnant with TWINS? I'm having an anxiety attack just reading about it.

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