To ask if any of you avoid taking your DCs to restaurants?

[YouDoTheMath]

I'm thinking of avoiding them until my toddler is older. She's really well behaved normally but the thought of taking her for a meal stresses me out. She doesn't seem to enjoy the experience and just kicks off.

I'm not one of those people who doesn't care what others think - it bothers me if I feel I'm spoiling things for others, so I end up either rushing through the meal or taking her home before it's even started.

Does it make sense to avoid such situations in future, or should I get her used to it?

We have always taken the dcs out to eat, now 5 and 7 they love it. When we first took ds age about I followed some.advice.from.the toddler years book, which I found.really useful. I hope it helps OP as it is great to be able.to take them out without worrying whether they will behave or not.

1)Eat early so the restaurant isn't too busy and the staff we have more time. Also the wait for food might be less.
2)Either bring or ask for a plain bread roll, for.the toddler while.you wait.for.your food .
3)Start with one course and build up.
4)Bring a small new toy for when the toddler has finished eating.
5)Tip well !
I re
At the begining it can.feel a bit stressful and like its not worth the money and effort.But like others have said on here it is an investment which will bring happy family meals in the future.I remember very well the first three course meal with coffees we all enjoyed together . They were 2 and 4 and I knew our hard work was paying off. :)

Agree, crayons/pens and paper are always a brilliant idea.

I have another tip. If you take them anywhere quiet, or stiff, or child un-friendly, they will sense your fear as you try to keep them quiet in hushed tones and they will go ape-shit.

Take them to a place that is noisier than they are. We recently took our two (aged two and four at the time) to the local tapas as Pizza Express was full. It was rammed and very noisy which at first made me think twice, but when we sat down it was a miracle, they barely spoke!

I was smuggy of smugsville about the fact I could eat out with dc's 1 and 2 and not have to worry about difficult behaviour spoiling a meal. Then I had youngest ds who has asd and had to abandon eating out for years because he wouldn't stay in a chair/made hideous noises.

Kids are 6, 8 and 12 now and we have started going out to eat again - though it has to be the right time and place. Anywhere you have to wait for more than 20 minutes for your food is out of the question.

All kids very unfussy - they'll hoover down baby octopus, mussels, offal and the like. Youngest ds even eats jellied eels with relish, so as long as we can get served quickly we can take them anywhere.

The best meal out we've had with DS now 2.4 was at Pizza Express in Bournemouth. We went there for lunch and it was great. The restaurant itself is really nice and the staff were lovely. We did, however, get there early for lunch so there was hardly anyone else there. There was nobody to disturb except another couple with young children.

We've taken him to a local Italian restaurant and he was...ok. Fortunately they are very welcoming to children there and DS got loads of attention from the waitress. He was fidgety and too interested in the new surroundings to bother much with his dinner though. Again, we went very early evening so weren't disturbing adult diners.

In my opinion he's too young to be marched outside and told to behave or else. It honestly wouldn't compute with him. We still rely on distraction and ice cream to get him to behave.

So yes, we will keep restaurant trips to a minimum until he's a little older. Can't afford to eat out anyway.

Oh, ByTheway, my problem is that I am dead thick and very lazy, and an all-round shit parent.
It has NEVER occurred to us to talk to a child over the dinner table or involve them in anything, really. Bloody wonder they learned to talk at all, considering. And discipline - well that's basically a waste of time, so DS has always done just what he likes in every situation. And It was all so much trouble, so I never made an effort to encourage him to grow up in any way at all.

However, due to a miracle - not due to having been taken into care and fostered in the basis of our terrible neglect in instilling restaurant behaviour - from 5 onwards he has enjoyed bowls of mussles, can use chopsticks reliably, and puts the manners of many an adult to shame.

See Shagmund's post.

I was quite envious of people who could visit restaurants without embarrassment or stress, but it has all worked out in the end. Being patronised by other parents is one of the lasting ill-effects.

YAB a bit U, the sooner they get used to it the better - there's lots of good advice in the thread about keeping toddlers occupied and with DS I've found forward planning is the key, so I take stuff to play, order quickly (I often look at the menu online before going) or order something to tide DS over while others order and ask for DS's to be brought with the starters so waiting is the aboslute minimum

Pizza express, Costa, Pizza Hut and Frankie and Benny's are all VERY child friendly in my experience - and that's half the battle. I also think it helps to go at not peak times, which is handy as DS usually has tea at about 5.30/6 when most places are pretty quiet. There are a few places (Giraffe for example) that are aimed at the family market so make eating there much easier.

That said he does like his food, enjoys eating and has v.adventureous taste, so if your child is a fussy eater who is never occupied at meal times at home, eating out will be the same, so then YANBU

We've always done restaurants. It's been okay for us and the other diners (largely speaking.) I love going out so I guess it's one of those things I was determined to make work.

Probably been said - but take her to TGIs, Frankie and Benny's, Pizza Hut etc and other 'family' restaurants. Avoid the more classy establishments - for the sake of your nerves and those of other diners

My kids have been accustomed to eating in restaurants since they were little. Both have SN, but do well if we go for a pub meal - lots of carpet and quiet acoustics plus a menu full of food for varying tastes make for a much more civilised experience than somewhere loud, hard and echoey. If the surroundings are calm and the food interesting and not too fussy, everyone enjoys it so much more.

I have always found Chinese restaurants good for young ones especially at weekends lunchtimes as There are usually lots of families, they serve you quickly and if you go for dim sum you can be done and dusted in 45 mins. I took both of mine since birth and while they've probably had unfair exposure to msg they both love prawns and Chinese veg and they are willing to try new stuff. Also Chinese love little ones so no need to feel too self conscious if it gets hairy!

I avoided it when they were toddlers because it was too expensive and I didn't find it particularly enjoyable. Not due to bad behaviour, just due to normal toddler behaviour.

Oh and another tip I got from someone is to order the bill at the same time as food so if you have to do an emergency dash you are not harassed trying to get attention of absent waitress as the stress levels rise.

God, I'm relieved that other people largely agree with me...

For the record I (a) like food and eating out (b) am quite good at talking my children (c) now have two children who are quite delightful in restaurants. Despite deciding that it was better to save the eating out experience/expense for solely adult company, for a few years. Frankly, I'd much prefer to meet adults and swig wine and gossip raucously than do that awful 'darling shall I just cut up that bit of pizza there' nervewracking thing.

Our local restaurant is also a working farm so we often go for lunch with DS and take him to look at the animals whilst waiting for the food. He's come to lunch with us in all sorts of places since birth but never for a posh evening meal; somehow that feels like 'grown-up time', both for us and for other people.

Took DS out with us from a few months, restaurants of all sorts abroad and at home. Only problem was when they were slow to serve the first course but he always behaved and would eat anything put in front of him. I'm not someone who would let their child misbehave / run around. Used to take a buggy and if he was tired he would just fall asleep when he had finished eating, while we finished. Once, when he was ten months, he did cry but after DH and I shared taking him out, the staff just took him so we could have our main meal together. He's now in his late teens and hosting friends and relatives in restaurants himself with confidence. Think it depends largely on your meals at home - do you eat as a family at the dinner table? If you don't the shock of sitting at a dinner table and waiting for people to finish / conversing will be a huge shock.

DD has been in all sorts with me and with an activity pack and some creative games she has always been fine.

However, I refuse to eat with a particular family anymore - its not even close to being enjoyable - manners, volume, running around... and parents have different tolerance levels than me and (Id imagine) all the diners that stare at us :(

We often take our 4.5 year old twins out, but only to places we know are child friendly. Time is the key - we have about 45 minutes before they get fed up and become unmanageable so we're often ordering our entire meal while taking out coats off. The entertainment (balloons, colouring, etc) is all very well but the girls are often more interested in that than in eating. There's a small Turkish place near us and with tolerant staff and food the girls like that's often a success.

By the way, is there any part of the "Pizza Express" experience that can be described as "Express" ? They have the slowest service anywhere...

I don't understand all the people on here who put their children's ability to behave well in restaurants down to being taken to restaurants from an early age. My DS1 (6) is fine in restaurants, because we've taught him table manners at home. He enjoys food, likes talking and has an average 6yo attention span, so can do a reasonable length meal sat nicely at the table. (Although he still prefers the sort with attached soft play where he can race about in a frenzy before, after, and between courses.)

cornflakegirl - being taken to restaurants from an early age and being taught table manners at home aren't mutually exclusive, you know. I for one have taught DS good table manners at home as well as acclimatising him to eating out from a young age. It's possible to do both.

My kids are taught manners at home, too, cornflakegirl (though how much they manage to take in is debatable.) Eating out is different to them, though and because of their ASD, they don't tend to generalise rules. At home, they don't have to wait for their food - they just get on with their day while it magically appears. At home, we don't have menus and salt and vinegar on the table for them to resist playing with (I did hand the waitress the vinegar jar with apologies after DS1 sampled it on Saturday!)

DS2, we've had to train to actually eat in places other than at home. A couple of eyars ago, we could get a plate of chips down him, so long as he was sat on his dad's knee. Even at home, he is thrown if we give him a plate he hasn't seen before, or if music is playing that he doesn't know. We really have had to "teach" him how to eat out.

We've always taken DD(4) out with us, and also often have 2 other older kids in tow, which is handy for extra hands/amusement options.
DD was fab as a small baby, a nightmare as a toddler and has mellowed into a well behaved (mostly) eating companion. I always have paper/pens and such like which keeps her occupied until food arrives.

If I was going out for a posh meal and wanted to be able to relax and enjoy it, I think I'd go in the evening and get a sitter though.
The key for us is to have toys/amusements handy and to keep it fairly brisk.

i see it more as something i always used to do with dh before we have kids so why shouldn't we do it now we have kids, or why should we leave them at home while we go out? they love it as much as we do, they get to try different foods and get used to strangers chatting to them, it helps them to be a bit more sociable.

Most (though admittedly not all) of the people stating that their little darling child behaves angellically have only the one. Or they have a baby.

Either way, try taking three DC, all mobile, and all under 5 to a restaurant. It's doomed to failure.

My DC are now older, and behave perfectly acceptably in restaurants. We started at McDonalds, and built up.

Blu - I feel that way every time someone tells me their child talked early, because they talked to them all the time. I obviously locked my DC up in a cupboard.

jeee - you might have a good point there, although we're often out with 3 kids, the older two are 10+years older than DD. Three under 5 would be a totally different ball game.

i had a lovely meal out last week with a 3yr old, 2yr old, 8month old. best behaviour all round, out like a shot the minute we'd finished the last mouthfull though!