To ask if any of you avoid taking your DCs to restaurants?

[YouDoTheMath]

I'm thinking of avoiding them until my toddler is older. She's really well behaved normally but the thought of taking her for a meal stresses me out. She doesn't seem to enjoy the experience and just kicks off.

I'm not one of those people who doesn't care what others think - it bothers me if I feel I'm spoiling things for others, so I end up either rushing through the meal or taking her home before it's even started.

Does it make sense to avoid such situations in future, or should I get her used to it?

The trick is to profit from kids tendency to eat naturally earlier, to end up going out at quiet times.

At 5/5.30 p.m. most places are deserted - so you sidestep interminable waits for the food or judgy fellow diners, and you can concentrate on having a nice meal/ working on setting future ground rules with DC.

Leave your snobbism at the door - I find chains are generally much more reliable in the sense of having sufficient space between tables to have buggy with you if needs be, having efficient service & kids extras, having clean toilets and having laid back waiting staff.

Have always taken ours out for meals, occasionally when they were small we had to take them out again but you live & learn!
YANBU to avoid if you're not comfortable though, if you're stressed it will rub off on her, meals out are supposed to be enjoyable :)

I'd never take my ds to a restaurant. I understand that it's an adult environment, and I can't expect everywhere to be set up to be appropriate for my children.

Even if I see a silent toddler in a restaurant, it puts me on edge. It seems to lower the tone of the area, and I'm aware of him/her the whole time.

When d.s. is old enough that I can trust him not to make loud noises without warning, then of course I'll introduce him to dining out.

Agree with eating early. Scottish high teas are good for kids, early food, limited but speedy menu and lots of cakes. For older kids places like Jimmy Chung's (chinese buffet) are good as there is loads to choose from and you get up and down to get food and it is fairly noisy and chaotic so people aren't there for a romantic experience. Even there though they'd have to sit down when eating as lots of people carrying food and not for toddlers who want to run around, more primary school age.

Nope, we avoided it during the toddler years completely.
DS had very little interest in food, sitting still for food, sitting still at all, once he had taken the edge of his appetite.

Since he has been 5 we have had brilliant meals out, and he quickly gew to enjoy it and will experiment with any food and eats a huge range.

No 'training' - we just waited until he was of an age to enjoy it, and understand about behaving. better than us wasting money on a stressful experince for us and everyone around us.

We've had a couple of stressful situations, usually because the venue has been chosen by someone else so isn't quite as suitable as we'd chose. Definitely take a bag of things for them to do too.

We try to order a starter style snack to share with DD while we wait our main meal. Definitely be prepared to skip dessert if needed.

I also find a portable booster seat and DD's own bowl/cutlery is really helpful as it's familiar, plastic and has straps! We've always taken DD but have adjusted the location of meals based on how she is, so we've had a run of Pizza Hut meals just to keep her practising behaving. We're now okay in pubs and places like Pizza Express on a Saturday afternoon (when it's full of other kids!). She's 2yo, so not so bad.

DS1 was okay in restaurants, DS2 is very much like Blu's. We went to Pizza Express back in March, and spent probably half the time we were there chasing him around the restaurant (it was nearly empty, so he wasn't disturbing anyone. We can manage coffee and cake in Costa without too much trauma, but it's nowhere near as relaxed as it used to be.

The first restaurant I remember going to was an Indian with my dad aged 14. We had done pubs (mainly for lunch if on hol) before that and all in at Butlins but mainly stayed self catering on holidays. Eating out regularly is a fairly new thing for Brits. My parents never went to restaurants as kids.

I used to avoid them unless they were "child friendly" ie. harvester that has an outdoor part. DS was a total pain in the bum about food a supertaster (getting better now he's 13) and really didn't want to sit and eat.

We often go to restaurants with my 5yo and 3yo and always have. I think it's the luck of the child rather than anything we've done tbh. I do let them take a book or a (silent) toy, or even a little bag of things if it's going to be a loooong family meal.

We had phases that were a bit grim but usually it's never been a problem. If it's a high pressure situation such as later than she'd usually eat or no other children even roughly near her age I would get DD a Peppa Pig or similar comic to keep her occupied. If it's expensive, I always get a bit anxious and then she picks up on that. She's 4.9 now and eats better than I do!

We've been taking ours out since he was born, and he's always brilliant. It helps that being our only child we don't have any time pressures, so he's a late -to-bed/late-to-get-up baby who doesn't get grumpy and tired when out for dinner.

Now that he's eating proper food it does get a bit messy under his chair so we always try and clean up a bit and leave a big tip

I dont have dc but what I really hate seeing is over tired toddlers being yelled at by parents who are more annoying than the toddlers! I always think ffs its 11pm I'm tired how do you think the toddlers feel.

Kids do need to learn social skills though so try it and see.

Maybe explain it as a treat "this is what big girls and boys do" either they will get it or not.

Most kids want to climb under the table and run off and if you cant do it as kids when can you eh?

We regularly eat out in cafes, places like Pizza Hut, TGI Fridays etc where children fit in and are catered for. The DCs are sometimes very well behaved but on occasion are not. C'est la vie.

We didn't go out to eat for years because I couldn't trust the kids to behave. I know it's a vicious circle but I just didn't have the energy to go out for a meal, then turn around and come home half way through because someone had kicked off.
Not the youngest is almost 4, we can get away with places like Harvester and Pizza Express, and I expect we will be able to eat out more as they get even older.

I wouldn't avoid them, just stick to places that are fantastically geared up for children like Pizza Express, Nandos etc. I have always taken my DS to places like that since he was a baby and never had a problem really. The only time I can remember it being really hard work was when he was crawling and didn't want to sit in the chair for long (back arching!). He loves eating out now.

We brought our Dd with us from an early age, always had colouring and stickers with us and a little snack in case the wait was long. She would ask the waiter for what she wanted herself, 'reading' from her own menu.

Set the ground rules before you go, remind her of them when you sit down and also get her to look around, point out that other people are eating there, relaxing, and the world doesn't revolve around her. If she doesn't behave, enact the ground rules and walk her straight out.

We always went to a playground for half an hour before if we were going to go to a more grown up restaurant. In this way we didn't have to stick to pizza express and could eat in more fancy places.

Compliment her on her good behaviour and tell her she's a pleasure to take anywhere if she's well behaved.

I dont agree with whoever said you shouldnt have to 'train' children in restaurant behaviour. My friends SS is 24 and has never been 'trained' obviously. He hasnt got SNs or anything like that but is just totally unpleasant to sit at a table with. To my horror i found myself sat opposite him at a wedding. He talks with his mouth full, eats with his mouth open, holds his knife and fork in the wrong hands (although right-handed) and if he puts something in his mouth that is too hot he throws his head back and sort of throws it round his mouth till it cools (hard to explain - a bit like gargling really), he makes that awful noise with his fork on the plate at regular intervals (you know the one when your teeth fall out) and he eats like someone is going to take it off him practically throws it in his mouth. I despair of my friend ever getting 'rid' of him tbh as I cannot imagine him taking a girl out for a meal etc.

Yes definitely there are skills involved in being a pleasant restaurant companion and it is worth starting early.

We always have. We stuck to Pizza Hut, wimpy and pizza express when they were younger and now we do the Harvester fairly regularly. For family birthdays with my parents we do slightly more upmarket places but then there are more adults to entertain them. They are pretty good in restaurants now though (7 and 4 yo) so it was worth it and we do love eating out fairly regularly.

Like others, we go to pizza hut/express and the like, where it doesn't matter if they leave a mountain of food under the table or crayon on the table.

The UK has a shocking attitude to children eating out and compared to France, it's positively Victorian.

I have two close in age and we avoided during toddlerhood. Now they are 4 and 5 and we know what they will eat so it's much easier. I always take some bread sticks thich they munch while we wait. We take a couple of books and coloring stuff too. Pizza Express is the poshest we do.

My hell bats are 3 and 4, they bounce off each other and prefer to be active, food is still fuel to them and they can take or leave it at most meal times. It wouldnt be enjoyable for them to be forced to sit quietly for an hour or more with just food and quiet activity to entertain them. Sure I could make them, but I cant see the point, I wouldnt enjoy it then either, we go to place with a play area attached, they play, grab a bite when/if they want and we enjoy our meal in the ocld watching them on the park

No loss, will try when they are older, years ahead yet no rush :)

took DD 22 months to pizza express today she loved it had the mini lunch, I try and get her now to sit on bench sit with me rather than high chair, we were in central glasgow and she was really well behaved ate all her pasta icecream strawberries and babychino... whicch she adores I would not take her to a michelin star place at 8pm, but have no hesitation taking her for lunch or high tea she sits and people watches so we get table with a view of stuff, but |I agree go out early when place not to busy but i expect her to sit quietly to eat and other stuff she sits quietly for first 25 minutes of service at church ( not counting various songs/choruses) until she goes out to creche

I think some children are happier to sit still, she loves running round but will sit still while favourite tv etc on but I know part of it is childs personality start small with 20 mins in cafe sat on chair no running round just eating biscuit and drinking juice . I don't think it does children any harm to learn early that just sometimes they have to behave differently and do things that other people want or need to do and a bit of boredon never killed anyone