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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is it unreasonable to not answer the door when you are in?

128 replies

Lifeissweet · 02/10/2011 18:13

I am asking because there is someone outside the door at the moment and they have rung the doorbell 4 times. It is obviously someone who knows I am here.

The problem is, I've been gardening all day and have just got out of a long, hot bath. I am red in the face, my hair is wet and I am in my dressing gown. I don't want to face anyone like this - especially when I could open the door and be confronted with anyone.

I feel guilty, though, and like I should go in case it's important.

So, am I being unreasonable? Will they think I'm being rude? Because it's just rung again and it's stressing me out

OP posts:
Flubule · 02/10/2011 18:14

They might think you are ill.
But no it is not unreasonable, I do it all the time (can see strangers coming up the path)

Tortington · 02/10/2011 18:14

id answer it and say sorry was n the bath - through the door without opening it - "I WAS IN THE BATH WHO IS IT?"

usualsuspect · 02/10/2011 18:14

can't you shout who is it ?

I would answer the door though

Shutupanddrive · 02/10/2011 18:15

Assume you don't know who it is? I would just stick my head out of the window and see what they want. Then tell them to wait 5 mins or it's not a good time

5BottlesOfShampoo · 02/10/2011 18:15

YANBU. I frequently don't answer the door, unless I'm expecting visitors. You don't need to justify your decisions.

troisgarcons · 02/10/2011 18:15

I would go upstairs and do the shouty-out -of-the -window thing.

andthisisme · 02/10/2011 18:16

I do it too, I can usually be sure it's just someone trying to sell you something you don't want, don't need and would not buy on the doorstep if you did.

If it's someone important, they would have your phone number, yes?

Ignore away YANBU

dreamingbohemian · 02/10/2011 18:17

YANBU at all

I never answer the doorbell unless I'm expecting someone

Ringing the doorbell five times is really rude I think!

LeBOF · 02/10/2011 18:17

I never answer the door or the phone if I don't feel like it. You are not obliged to be at anybody's beck and call.

slavetofilofax · 02/10/2011 18:18

YANBU. It's rude in reverse, people shouldn't automatically assume that you should be available to talk to them, or even want to talk to them, just because you are in.

Bunbaker · 02/10/2011 18:19

Yes, but I am a nosy person and would want to know who it is. Because where we live is tucked away it is usually a friend and I wouldn't want to not answer the door to them.

It might be an emergency - a neighbour telling you that someone is breaking into your car, or something similar, or it could even be the police.

If they have rung four times I think you should answer the door as it won't be someone trying to sell you something, not on a Sunday.

usualsuspect · 02/10/2011 18:19

If I knew someone was in ,I would think they were rude for ignoring me

Mind you my front door is not locked in the day so family and friends just knock and come in

sue52 · 02/10/2011 18:19

If someone rang on the bell for a fourth time, I would think it might be urgent and answer it even if red faced and in my night gown.

yellowraincoat · 02/10/2011 18:23

I never answer the door if I don't know who it is. Normally it just means it's someone from a charity, and I don't want to speak to them.

I live in London though and friends/family don't really tend to drop by.

said · 02/10/2011 18:24

Are they still there? Who was it?

mousesma · 02/10/2011 18:24

Usually I would say ignore but if they've rung 4 times I'd have to check in case it was urgent.

YusMilady · 02/10/2011 18:25

I would normally say ignore, but such persistent ringing deserves a rebuke. Shout at them through the closed door - ask them who they are and what they want. Unless they're telling you your chimney is on fire you can then tell them it's not convenient and to do one go away.

YusMilady · 02/10/2011 18:26

Oh, and in answer to your question - no, it is perfectly reasonable not to answer the door (or the phone).

Maryz · 02/10/2011 18:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

oksonowwhat · 02/10/2011 18:27

I say, its your door, do what you want. I often ignore it, the phone too.

If persistant, i would probably go eventually.

Original poster
Lifeissweet · 02/10/2011 18:29

Whoever it was has gone and I don't know who it was. I just thought if it was urgent then they could put a note through and, as you say, if it was a friend they would call me.

So I don't know either - sorry!

OP posts:
Bunbaker · 02/10/2011 18:34

Blimey, you are an unsociable lot. We answer the door round here. Maybe it is because we are in a village and the chances are it is someone I know and want to see. We often get friends dropping round unannounced - mine or DD's.

usualsuspect · 02/10/2011 18:36

I live in a city ,and always answer the door ,its usually one of DSs mates though

ladyintheradiator · 02/10/2011 18:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bellar82 · 02/10/2011 18:44

YANBU, nothing worse than visitors on a sunday evening! if it was someone you knew and it was important surely they would phone you and say they are outside?