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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to fear the whole 'school gate politics' thing??

158 replies

tryingtobemarypoppins2 · 27/09/2011 20:30

How clicky is it?? Will anyone like me??? Will my child be the only one not invited to parties????
We haven't really got involved in all the village play dates/meet in the parks things as we haven't really been invited/always busy with work, nursery, swimming etc etc.....AIBU to really worry about the clicks which seem to be formed already?

OP posts:
Icancancatchbabies · 29/09/2011 10:18

First school my dds went to the playground politics were awful. Really cliquey, if you weren't in the clique you got ignored or glared out. Horrible.

My dds just started a new school and everyone seems nice and friendly, no cliquey feeling at all. Sadly I still feel affected by the last school and don't enjoy the school run.

Icancancatchbabies · 29/09/2011 10:28

Its pathetic if people only invite your child to play, parties etc because they like you. I do think this happens though. It is like being at school yourself.Hmm

2rebecca · 29/09/2011 10:36

I waited to have kids home for tea until the kids were able to come without parents (most 5 year olds in our area) and then if my kids wanted someone round I'd give them a note for the parent to get in touch to arrange it. It never mattered much that the parent and I weren't friends, but some parents do want to check the other parent out before allowing their kid round their house, I didn't come across this and happily sent my kids off to have tea with other kids only knowing vaguely what the other parent looked like.
I'm not sure what I would have seen in their house if I did an inspection visit that would make me decide my kid shouldn't go there anyway. One of my daughter's childminders used to feed her kids ice lollies for breakfast, the kids were happy and it was a loving household so it didn't bother me.

exoticfruits · 29/09/2011 19:25

Maybe it has all changed since I was at the school gate. Hmm

It was nice and simple, you collected your DC and had a chat to whoever was around. Your DC made their own friends, I don't think that mine would have put up with being friends with whoever happened to be mummy's friend!

We also didn't discuss reading or attainment levels or have to prove that we had intelligent DCs. I can only think that things must have changed greatly if there is now a breed of 'school gate parent' who has to be avoided-and a huge effort is made to prove that you are not one of the breed!
Sadly, to the outsider, they can't tell the difference!

SlinkingOutsideInSocks · 29/09/2011 20:20

EF - yours have been amongst the sanest posts on this thread.

My two are still pre-school so I've all this ahead of me. I'm anticipating it to be as you describe. :)

Loving the irony though, of the superior types, above chatting with a load of Mums... posting on Mumsnet. Brew

aquashiv · 29/09/2011 20:27

Ha ha its one of those rites of passage. No one ever warned me about expressing, getting kids to sleep, understanding those flaming reading colours. Getting involved with or avoiding cliques on the school run.
It is a minefield if you let it.

Truth is they all have the same fears and have alot more in common with you right now.

exoticfruits · 29/09/2011 21:14

Loving the irony though, of the superior types, above chatting with a load of Mums... posting on Mumsnet

Grin
georginosgirl · 26/07/2012 21:32

most stressfull thing ever .....the needy mums bored with there lives who wont leave you alone vre the worst !

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