I remember how desperate I felt when LO was just a few weeks old and crying at night. He had colic and reflux, and on very bad nights he could cry for a couple of hours.
I tried everything. We went to the doctor and got medicine, we changed feeding methods and bought Dr Brown bottles, we did baby massage, we had stuff for his bath, bought one of those awful colic pillows that massage the baby (they do NOT work), we held him in the positions the HV showed us, you name it and we tried it.
He still cried a lot and when he did go to sleep we were afraid to put him down because he would wake at the slightest movement.
I've spent nights trying to sleep while sitting propped up in the corner of the room, holding DS and terrified to move in case he woke, getting about 20 minutes sleep at a time before he disturbed and and the whole routine started again, cringing every time he made a noise because DH was being an arse very unhelpful and complaining about his need for sleep and moaning about being woken all night.
But even though I felt desperate and useless and very alone and frustrated, DS was my baby and I think that made it a bit better for me than if I had been a neighbour listening through the wall. No matter how bad things got, and at times I felt angry and frustrated at DS for "fighting sleep" all the time, at least I was getting all the good bits of being his mum too.
It must be very frustrating to listen to and be disturbed by a crying baby that isn't even yours.
I was lucky, my neighbour was an elderly lady with several adult children, lots of grandchildren and even some great-grandchildren. She was 85 and still took care of the three youngest, one only 11 months old at the time, three days a week. When we went to apologise and ask if she was being disturbed she told us that she was used to crying babies and pointed out that she was going slightly deaf. She ended up being the most sympathetic and helpful person we turned to for advice. And just as she convinced
I'm normally the first to be on the side of the parent and baby, because babies do cry and it's almost in their job description to keep people up at night. But it's not the fault of the neighbours and if it's an ongoing thing, as frequently as six times a night, then I think the parents do need to accept that not everyone is going to be happy about it or suffer in silence indefinitely.
You really do need to apologise (if not for the baby crying than for the fact that the crying is disturbing your neighbour) and try to find a solution that doesn't include earplugs.
To be fair to her, your daughter has been crying a couple of times a night for a few weeks now. At the start she was probably thinking that your daughter was unsettled by the move but would calm down in a few weeks. Instead she's crying even more than ever and without an explanation or an apology your neighbour has no idea why. She's probably thinking that this will never stop and if she knows you are pregnant again she's be imagining how much worse it will become when there are two babies to cry through the night.
Even if you feel you don't owe her an apology, you owe her an explanation and a promise that you will do your very best to ensure she isn't disturbed too much from now on.