To not want to see my neighbour's cock every time I look out of my bedroom window?

[BupcakesandCunting]

Because I think I see more of his than I do of my own husband's

My very unattractive and portly over-the-road neighbour seems to enjoy fannying about in his bedroom completely in the buff. His window is right opposite mine and I only need to be doing something like pulling my blinds up and it's like "Woah, and there's your nob AGAIN."

Other people in our terrace have noticed it too. DH and I have speculated that he might be a bit of an exhibitionist as it's not even like he's naked but trying not to be seen. He stands right in the window with his family jewels out on display most days. I had to pull my blind down yesterday and put my make-up on with no natural light just so that I could avoid getting my eyes assaulted by a stranger's cock.

How should I deal with it? I've thought about mentioning it to his wife, as in "I don't know if your husband realises, but we can see a lot more of him than he probably realises. You might want to close the curtains in your bedroom in future!" or I've thought about drawing a very unflattering picture of said neighbour in the buff and anonymously posting it to him. It would be captioned "THIS IS WHAT I SEE EVERY TIME I GLANCE OUT OF MY OWN WINDOW! STOP IT!" Or I could just ring the police and report him for indecent exposure. Last one seems harsh though.

I'm not being U, am I? It's not a one-oof, it's most days. And it's rank. :(

Id still go for the photo option! I bet his wife would be mortified!

I am as blind as a bat. I still know that people can see through windows. 'Tis what they are for. My husband is growing old steadily. I'm not really worried that he's going to be locally famous for parading his nob to the neighbours

SGB you are a professional arguer. Go and do it elsewhere.

You could always play "Short Dick Man" full volume. IIRC it starts with 'Get out of here with that little dick' and goes on to say 'that has got to be the smallest dick I have ever seen... you need to put your pants back on' That should wipe the smile off his face

Iny weeny teeny weeny
Shriveled little short dick man

Don't want,Don't want,Don't want,
Don't want

What in the world is that thing?
Do you need some tweezers to put that thing away

That has got to be the smallest dick
I've ever seen in my whole life

Get the fuck outta here
Iny weeny teeny weeny
Shriveled little short dick man

Isn't that cute an extra belly button
You need to put your pants back on honey

Love it! Play it full blast

Any update?

There's nothing wrong with being Nekkid in your own bedroom, being Nekkid in your own bedroom with the curtains open posing at the window is wrong!
It's indecent exposure. If people passing in the street can see your todger, then you need to get net curtains. If you deliberately show your knob to people passing in the street, you need to get a psychiatric assessment!

Has anyone suggested positioning a very large mirror so it faces the flasher?

Stick on a message, "Are you flashing me? It's so hard to tell..."

"Any update?"

Luckily, King of Moobs has not seen fit to parade naked in his window since I posted this thread.

StrandedBear, believe it or not I don't actively stand there gawping at him. You know how it is... you pull your blind up and there it is. Once I've realised what's afoot, I do avert my gaze. Are you suggesting that I wear horse blinkers or something?

Also, could I ask you to desist from saying "nekkid"?

I was expecting this to be about chickens too

Wasn't there something in the news this week about a flasher being arrested for flashing a police woman as she walked past his house?

I think he was inside, posing like your neighbour near the windows, and she spotted him and arrested him.

So the police would take it seriously if you wanted to report him.

Frank Butcher in a bow-tie though! Was that really necessary? I think that might be the worst thing anyone has ever written on Mumsnet. Ever.