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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not want to see my neighbour's cock every time I look out of my bedroom window?

210 replies

BupcakesandCunting · 26/09/2011 14:27

Because I think I see more of his than I do of my own husband's Hmm

My very unattractive and portly over-the-road neighbour seems to enjoy fannying about in his bedroom completely in the buff. His window is right opposite mine and I only need to be doing something like pulling my blinds up and it's like "Woah, and there's your nob AGAIN."

Other people in our terrace have noticed it too. DH and I have speculated that he might be a bit of an exhibitionist as it's not even like he's naked but trying not to be seen. He stands right in the window with his family jewels out on display most days. I had to pull my blind down yesterday and put my make-up on with no natural light just so that I could avoid getting my eyes assaulted by a stranger's cock.

How should I deal with it? I've thought about mentioning it to his wife, as in "I don't know if your husband realises, but we can see a lot more of him than he probably realises. You might want to close the curtains in your bedroom in future!" or I've thought about drawing a very unflattering picture of said neighbour in the buff and anonymously posting it to him. It would be captioned "THIS IS WHAT I SEE EVERY TIME I GLANCE OUT OF MY OWN WINDOW! STOP IT!" Or I could just ring the police and report him for indecent exposure. Last one seems harsh though.

I'm not being U, am I? It's not a one-oof, it's most days. And it's rank. :(

OP posts:
onagar · 26/09/2011 17:06

Well done. You can now be arrested for harassment. Try reporting your neighbour and telling the police "I've made a start by..." and watch their faces.
I can see why you thought it was funny, but you should probably put it back before anyone notices.

In the meantime I have a sane suggestion. You can get stick-on film that makes a window look frosted. If you prefer it need not be over the whole window because you normally only look out through one bit unless you are trying to see. They do shaped/decorative panels for that purpose. 2 mins to apply and the problem is solved. It probably looks better than a view of someone's window and wall anyway.

I know you can say "but why should I..." but you are the one with the problem and this solves is neatly and simply. If you prefer to carry on looking while trying to make a court case out of it feel free to do so.

Andrewofgg · 26/09/2011 17:08

onagar At least one on this thread, even if it is only a man, enjoyed your contribution and knows irony when he sees it - it was a masterpiece.

TLD2 · 26/09/2011 17:09

Harassment? Oh for fuck's sake, really?

Bups should be the one finding solutions to a perv over the road?

You're deliberately trying to get a reaction, aren't you, onagar?

toddlerama · 26/09/2011 17:10

Bupcakes, you need to do the router the way TLD said, otherwise you're only changing it's name on your PC. And ignore Onagar. Wi-fi was made for passive-aggressive neighbour situations.

ScarahStratton · 26/09/2011 17:10

What's the gg for Andrewof?

ChaoticAngeloftheUnderworld · 26/09/2011 17:13

Bupcakes can you send his wife a sympathy card? It sounds like she needs some Wink

TLD2 · 26/09/2011 17:13

Scarah - gargantuan gonads. It's obvious!

onagar · 26/09/2011 17:14

They won't know it's me 'I' would know, but probably most people wouldn't, but anyone could report it to the police who would know. Not worth the risk is it?

Andrewofgg · 26/09/2011 17:15

ScarahStratton When I want to out myself you'll be the first to know! :o

TLD2 · 26/09/2011 17:15

Actually if anyone did report it to the police, they'll ask why she did it and she can point at house opposite and police can go and ask.

2 birds, 1 stone.

CurrySpice · 26/09/2011 17:15

Onagar - why are you being so daft? Really, here's some reality, get a grip of it eh?

Original poster
BupcakesandCunting · 26/09/2011 17:20

Onagar is a daft prat. He was like this on a thread the other day.

Harrassment, nah. It's good-spirited/non-aggressive. No-one will care. Not in the real world.

OP posts:
CurrySpice · 26/09/2011 17:23

I think it's a beautifully British passive-agreesive way of dealing with it Bups :o

onagar · 26/09/2011 17:24

TLD2 2 birds one stone indeed. They can add it to the crime figures as two incidents. But on reflection you and CurrySpice are both right and Bups should keep it just as it is until it is noticed. Good luck with that.

I made my suggestion about the frosted glass and that wasn't sarcasm but meant to be helpful.

The technical point about someone knowing it's your wifi is simply true and easy to check.

My position on the rights of someone to be naked at home is something I believe seriously even if I put it sarcastically.

I'll leave you to go on with it now, but will keep an eye out to see who if anyone gets arrested.

Andrewofgg · 26/09/2011 17:25

For the avoidance of doubt I meant onagar's first offering at 14.47. I had not seen 17.06 and I don't think I was missing much.

Waltraut · 26/09/2011 17:25

How far away is your window from the offending suet-sock?

TrinaLuciusMalfoy · 26/09/2011 17:28

Are you sure he knows he can be seen? He may simply be a naturist who's wandering around blissfully unaware that he's visible. I'd go for the wife-approach first - keeping it friendly and all that. Once they've been told that's another matter. Perhaps call the local police non-emergency line and ask for advice? If they think you should report it they'll then take the details.

Boring answer, sorry Wink

CurrySpice · 26/09/2011 17:28

Why on god's green earth should Bups make modifications to her home (which btw sound fucking vile) when she has not created the problem

I am all in favour of home nudity - I am a pracitioner myself - but there is a difference between private nudity and public. And this is public

And pray do tell, oh all-knowledegable-onagar, how is the OP's wifi name harrassment? Under what law would the police like to talk to her? Since you seem to have the answer to everything, I would be interested to know Hmm

VivaLeBeaver · 26/09/2011 17:33

It is illegal/indecent exposure to be naked in your own home if people outside your property can see you naked. I know someone who was prosecuted for it.

ScarahStratton · 26/09/2011 17:36

Gah! My nosiness has not been assuaged. You disappoint me Andrew.

JarethTheGoblinKing · 26/09/2011 17:37

MothInMyKecks

Grin Apparently you can also snort spaghetti out of your nose!

ItsTimeToBurnThisDiscoDown · 26/09/2011 17:38

I laughed SaggyOldClothCat!

Ha ha Bupcakes, really hope he sees it!

TLD2 · 26/09/2011 17:38

onagar, no one has said he shouldn't be naked in his home. BUT, he should have curtains up when he's naked if he knows he can be seen. Which, if he lives with any neighbours he will know.

solidgoldbrass · 26/09/2011 17:41

I also think that some of you are uptight miserable bastards with too much time on your hands. It won't kill you to see a bloke walking around naked. It doesn't sound at all as though he is waving his cock at the neighbours. If he is a fat man with a small cock, it sounds like you can hardly see it anyway (without having a bloody good long look before you have to lie down and send someone off for the smelling salts)
And it is utterly, pathetically mundane to behave as though only the young and thin are entitled to be naked in their own homes or anyone else.

pixma · 26/09/2011 17:41

I propose a mumsnet flash mob in Bupcakes garden. we could all do the little finger thing en masse