To not want to see my neighbour's cock every time I look out of my bedroom window?

[BupcakesandCunting]

Because I think I see more of his than I do of my own husband's

My very unattractive and portly over-the-road neighbour seems to enjoy fannying about in his bedroom completely in the buff. His window is right opposite mine and I only need to be doing something like pulling my blinds up and it's like "Woah, and there's your nob AGAIN."

Other people in our terrace have noticed it too. DH and I have speculated that he might be a bit of an exhibitionist as it's not even like he's naked but trying not to be seen. He stands right in the window with his family jewels out on display most days. I had to pull my blind down yesterday and put my make-up on with no natural light just so that I could avoid getting my eyes assaulted by a stranger's cock.

How should I deal with it? I've thought about mentioning it to his wife, as in "I don't know if your husband realises, but we can see a lot more of him than he probably realises. You might want to close the curtains in your bedroom in future!" or I've thought about drawing a very unflattering picture of said neighbour in the buff and anonymously posting it to him. It would be captioned "THIS IS WHAT I SEE EVERY TIME I GLANCE OUT OF MY OWN WINDOW! STOP IT!" Or I could just ring the police and report him for indecent exposure. Last one seems harsh though.

I'm not being U, am I? It's not a one-oof, it's most days. And it's rank. :(

Next time you see his wife, have a bit if a funny turn. When she asks you if you are ok, tell her "I see NAKED people".

Oh do you know what? Fuck all the politeness. Just go over there now. Whoever answers say this
"If I see any cockage in the near future, I will personally make sure you make it onto the sex offenders list. Yeah? Nuff said." To much piddling about with polite, lets not make a fuss. You know what you saw, you know you don't like it and so do other folk. Enough of a case for me.

Was I a bit blunt there?

If you're not allowed to photograph him, could you fashion a life-like model of his cock from moddelling clay, based on extensive real-life observation, then take it to the wife and ask if she recognises it? Because every other fucker in the street does!!

Yes. Fashion a large clay cock and leave it in his front garden. That'll learn 'im

This reminds me of the time ds and I were wandering around the streets near our house trying to get dd to fall asleep in the pushchair. We went down one road I'd never walked down before, there was a small crowd of boys from the school up the road giggling outside one house. I looked up to the upstairs window where they were all pointing and there was the clear outline of a naked woman in what I assume was the bathroom window (it was frosted, but not very much iyswim) you could see everything, ladygarden, boobs, the lot. To make matters worse it was a huge window, almost full length! I presume they were new to the area and didn't realise just how much people could see in to their bathroom, there was still a sold board outside the house. Poor sods. I haven't walked down there recently, I wonder if anyone ever told them :o

Get one of those laser pointers and keep it pointed on his genitals , that'll learn him.

Do you have a wireless broadband router, OP?

You an changes it's name from the default "Sky 123456" or whatever, to "No.14 put your cock away"

*you can change it's nam
Stupid bloody phone

Yeah Malificence, that is a great idea. He will be driven mental by that. Does me running out to the bins in trackkie bottoms that have a perilous builders cleavage constitute gross indecency? Husband says so

lola you know what your DH can do if he doesn't like it? put the dmn bins out himself seeing as it's a boy's job

No Curry, I am running to the bin to get rid of the back log of wine bottles that I do not have the courage to throw out in broad daylight. Lola the Lush they call me. And quite often I am sober when I do it.

Mind you Husband was once caught having a sneaky piss into the composter. A neighbour was having a cig and H saw the glow of the tip too late. Later that night emboldended by husband, I took a wee in the bushes, fell over and smashed through the garden fence. Such larks we have here.

Jareth I actually saw a large clay cock (and balls) in a front garden the other day. Or rather on the gatepost, to be precise.

Do you think he's doing it deliberately for shock/perv effect or is he just a bit bolshy, as in, " it's my house and I'll do what I want"?

If it was one of my neighbours, (most of whom are elderly but the young un next door has the body of a greek god and I stare blush if I see him in the garden with just his shorts on) as long as he wasnt waving it around and seemed oblivious that he could be seen, I don't think it would bother me too much.

Isn't there a thread in Classics about someone whose child made a giant clay cock?

Perhaps you could borrow it for your windowsill?

Who was the MNer whose child accidentally made a rather accurate clay cock?

I once worked with someone who walked around the house/garden naked, I was so bloody glad I didn't live next to him

HELLO! Did nobody read my post?

Send him a diet sheet with a note saying that if he wants to show what's left of his manhood to the neighbours he needs to lose the lard as it's covering up too much

Get a really big magnifine glass and hold it up next time you get an eye full.

I am really considering painting a big sign saying "I can see yer cock" or simply "EUGH!" and blu-tacking it to my window...

Thats the spirit cupcakes. Do it in really big writing and draw a pic of your fanny. See how he likes that

Actually maybe leave the fanny off. He may like it

Hilarious for me i mean not bupcakes!
I would go with a sign of somesort, or the broadband namechange, there was a thread about that recently, it made me wee a bit!