To not want to see my neighbour's cock every time I look out of my bedroom window?

[BupcakesandCunting]

Because I think I see more of his than I do of my own husband's

My very unattractive and portly over-the-road neighbour seems to enjoy fannying about in his bedroom completely in the buff. His window is right opposite mine and I only need to be doing something like pulling my blinds up and it's like "Woah, and there's your nob AGAIN."

Other people in our terrace have noticed it too. DH and I have speculated that he might be a bit of an exhibitionist as it's not even like he's naked but trying not to be seen. He stands right in the window with his family jewels out on display most days. I had to pull my blind down yesterday and put my make-up on with no natural light just so that I could avoid getting my eyes assaulted by a stranger's cock.

How should I deal with it? I've thought about mentioning it to his wife, as in "I don't know if your husband realises, but we can see a lot more of him than he probably realises. You might want to close the curtains in your bedroom in future!" or I've thought about drawing a very unflattering picture of said neighbour in the buff and anonymously posting it to him. It would be captioned "THIS IS WHAT I SEE EVERY TIME I GLANCE OUT OF MY OWN WINDOW! STOP IT!" Or I could just ring the police and report him for indecent exposure. Last one seems harsh though.

I'm not being U, am I? It's not a one-oof, it's most days. And it's rank. :(

When you next see him, tell him you almost saw his willy, but you need stronger binoculars because it's so small.

I can only just see it anyway, due to his pendulous man-gunt.

Next time he does it, go round with your DH and ring the doorbell. When he answers it, presumably in a dressing gown, explain in words of one syllable that you can all see his trumpet and skittles and would prefer not to so could he please draw the curtains when he's getting dressed. Make sure you both smile slightly maniacally, as though you're Jehovah's Witnesses coming round to spread the good word.

I reckon there's a 99% chance he'll be so flummoxed by someone actually saying something that he'll stop. And if he doesn't, you can always call the police

Am I the only one who laughed at "easier to swallow"?

MissVerinder has the suggestion that I would go with. You go the official route with a quick phone call to your non-emergency police number, if it's all innocent and he's just a naive naturist then no harm done and he's just a mite embarrassed and if his motives for the nudey parade are remotely dodgy, then the police will deal with it. Your name never comes into it so, no embarrassing conversations with his DW.

I do think Andrewofgg has a good point. If he's perving at flashing the women of the street, it might be rather, ahem, deflating, to be called on it by one of the men.

Just do that gesture with your little finger that means 'you've got a micro-cock'.

In reality I would probably phone the police anonymously, but on behalf of all the neighbours who can see him, and ask them to have a subtle word.

If he gets it out after a visit from the police then he deserves whatever punishment they bestow on him the dirty pervvy flasher.

PMSL at 'pendulous man-gunt'. I have no idea what a man-gunt is but it sounds deeply revolting

I think everyone who undresses in their bedroom should be arrested - that will fix it.

It's recently come to my attention that people are in the habit of going out in the street!!!! in public!!!!! with just a thin layer/s of cloth hiding their nakedness. I don't care how many layers - there is no excuse for being naked under it where someone might see you.

A more permanent solution is to operate to remove people's eyes at an an early age. That way they will never see any bare skin and all will be right with the world.

I hope you all realise that every time a child sees a bare elbow a fairy dies!

Anonymous note (a polite one), and then if it continues ring the police.

Shut up, onagar.

Put a sign up in your window saying "That looks like a cock, only smaller".

If he does it again buy a megaphone and shout it out the window.

Could you nip over on some innocuous reason, nip to the loo and draw a pictoral representation and "everybody needs nekkid neighbours" on his bathroom mirror?

Then when he's having a steamy shower, all will becum clear.

Is it really indecent exposure to be naked in your own bedroom? I did not know that. I am often naked in my bedroom (yes with the curtains open, or at least partially open) - although I have no opposite neighbours, and someone would need to be looking at a funny angle to see me, I guess I'm a flasher as well!

No, Curryspice, you are not.

Ooh, is it ugly naked guy?
Can't you have a party at yours and then all look out of the window and laff.

Geraldine I shall stand in the mucky minded corner with you then :o

"It's not a one-oof"

and

"still wouldn't like being flashed at but it'd be easier to swallow if he looked like Johnny Depp"

Ah bupcakes, wiv zees typos and innuendo, you are really spoiling uz

BupcakesandCunting was I supposed to feel intimidated? If so I hate to break it to you, but you must be doing it wrong.

The funny thing is I hadn't noticed that you were the OP. I might have known.

Another ChaosTyposReign...

"Then when he's having a steamy shower, all will becum clear"

Sometimes I will dash across my room naked, for instance, I might have undressed to get in the shower and left my towel in the bedroom or something, so I will run in attempting to cover boobs with arms and grab towel and peg it back out. I think it would be obvious to any observer that I don't want to be seen naked.

However, this one, stands in the window, walks around blithely, sits at a desk, completely naked. At best, he doesn't mind being seen for prolonged periods of time, butt-naked. At worst, he wants to be seen. He's definitely got body-confidence anyway.

You could fashion an enormous poking device from chopsticks and poke him when he does it.

Am very impressed about missverinder being in the specials-now that's a claim to fame! I wonder which one she was.

Two words: Spud. Gun.

We will call you Dead Eye Cunting.

Onagar, I might have known that YOU would be the voice championing flashing. I reckon you're my neighbour.

the occasional naked in the window bit is not a crime. Doing it frequently enough for alot of people on the same street to notices is far from normal.

And yeah onagar....zip it!