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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

about SIL and sharing a bed?

265 replies

bumblybumblebee · 26/09/2011 01:16

I know I know but for Xmas we are all going to my grandparents house, though both dead now we all keep it as a holiday home thing and all use it equally. Their are 4 of us, DCs and our Parents

DP and I are not married and I'm pg with 3rd.
SIL of DBro2 is a very devout evangelical christian (my family are methodists - though we all vary in our devoutness).
I am the only one not married with a partner (both DBros are married and DSis is single)
SIL has said that she is uncomfortable sleeping in the same house as us knowing we are sleeping together and would it be possible for us to sleep in separate rooms? It is for this reason that they will not stay over at ours generally. She is very very uncomfortable about it

It's not her house neither is it mine.

So AIBU to tell her to take a hike and noway are we not sleeping in same bed just because doing so would make her uncomfortable?

OP posts:
kat2504 · 27/09/2011 10:46

Yes, we need to know where you are working now!
She really just needs to concentrate on her own life and stop interfering in other people's.
If your brother does complain to your parents I am sure they will have the good sense to set him straight.

notimetotidy · 27/09/2011 10:46

Well done bumbly!

MothInMyKecks · 27/09/2011 10:46

Lydia I agree

DamselInDisarray · 27/09/2011 10:52

I agree with Lydia. Definitely speak to your brother and make this his problem. and speak to your parents about it, so they know what's going on.

Your SIL sounds utterly dreadful. I'd've probably told her that, if heaven was going to be full of intolerant bigots like her, then I was glad the rest of us were going to hell. Grin

It's better to get this all sorted once and for all, rather than let your SIL's unreasonable behaviour overshadow family events for years to come. Once she understands that everyone else in your family are supportive of your relationship (and very happy for you), then it's purely her problem.

Original poster
bumblybumblebee · 27/09/2011 10:56

Nope not a tax collector. But A palaeobiologist specialising in evolution of development. She really doesn't like that.
Right speak to parents and DBro2. - got it.

OP posts:
cookcleanerchaufferetc · 27/09/2011 10:56

OMG - going to hell! What a fucking bitch!

What job do you do? Kinda would find it very amusing if you were a pole dancer or stripper!

I hope the rest of your family stand up for you.

Please get the Anne Summers catalogue and do some christmas shopping with them!

kat2504 · 27/09/2011 10:57

Oh dear she is of the Creationist type too?! It isn't like you are working in a brothel or an abortion clinic for heavens sake. She really does need to get a bit of common sense.

IrmaLittleteapot · 27/09/2011 11:00

Hee hee kat has said exactly what I was thinking! Creationist nutter. For sure.

TandB · 27/09/2011 11:00

Well done, OP.

I am surprised she deigned to marry into such a sinful family. Maybe you should tell her that God is Very Disappointed in her for failing to bring you back to the fold.....

mummytime · 27/09/2011 11:04

Finally please don't judge all Evangelical Christians by your SIL, even the Creationists I know tend to have much better manners than that. She also seems to have got her theology very mixed up. (I am sure Jesus's behaviour would have made her very uncomfortable.)

SharrieTBGinzatome · 27/09/2011 11:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Kewcumber · 27/09/2011 11:04

"Nope not a tax collector. But A palaeobiologist specialising in evolution of development" aw damn - I really kinda hoped you were a phone sex worker.

Hadn't grasped that your parents were going (and presumably the house technically belongs to them or their generation of the family) in which case her request is even more cheeky!

SharrieTBGinzatome · 27/09/2011 11:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Kewcumber · 27/09/2011 11:05

Oh yes isn't the done thing to ask "what would Jesus have done"? From memory he hung out with some pretty unsavory types and remianed quite pleasant to them.

kat2504 · 27/09/2011 11:07

oooh fossils. Totally immoral. What a terrible thing to study. Imagine the bad example that the OP is setting to her children who will be so corrupted by being exposed to this.

mummytime you are right. She has totally got the wrong end of the stick with regards to her religious beliefs.

ShoutyHamster · 27/09/2011 11:11

Personally I would love it if you were a palaeobiologist specialising in phone sex. That would be awesome!

I'd get in first with contacting your parents and other siblings and make it clear what that conversation entailed. And that you really, really aren't prepared to accept someone who thinks of your family in that way - much less spend Christmas with them.

I assume your parents might also take a dim view of having the kind of rude bigot for a DIL who tells their own DD and grandchildren that they're going to hell.

She needs to have it made clear to her that if she wants to embrace such hateful views, she's going the right way about it to end up estranged from the wider family. Her, not you. Starting perhaps with Christmas.

ClaudiaSchiffer · 27/09/2011 11:19

Goodness. Unmarried, 3 children, studies fossils, probably believes in evolution WHAT KIND OF WOMAN ARE YOU OP?!!

STONE THE HEATHEN

Or have we got past all that bigoted clap trap?

OP well done on not letting her get her own way. She is deluded and bigoted and generally not very nice. Quite right all those posted who asked her to think about how Jesus would handle the situation.

TheVermiciousKnid · 27/09/2011 11:22

I'm sorry, but I keep reading the title as 'sharing a bed with SIL'. Maybe you should suggest that to her? Tell her that without DH you would be cold/lonely, would she mind sharing the bed with you? Or maybe she would like to join you and DH?

heleninahandcart · 27/09/2011 11:27

Her asking you not to sleep together is as disrespectful as it would be if you asked her not to pray whilst in the house. YANBU

madam52 · 27/09/2011 11:33

You really wanna spend Xmas with this woman Confused ?

I would say yeah fine but in that case all the SM bondage gear will have to be set up in the lounge for you and your partner after everyones retired.

You will of course then go to your seperate bedrooms.

switchtvoffdosomelessboring · 27/09/2011 11:45

I've got the ideal christmas present for your sil imagine her face .

jugglingwiththreeshoes · 27/09/2011 11:48

So, according to the gospel of SIL, you and DP and your two little children are going to be tortured for eternity in the fires of hell - think pitchforks, eye gouging etc. etc. (Urghh !) because you and DP haven't popped down to the registry office for half an hour to say "yeh, we do love each other, care about each other, and are planning to stay together - can we go now ?"

And unlike you she only believes these things because some other idiot has told her to, and she hasn't got round to thinking things through for herself yet !

There's a great medieval wall-painting in Chaldon church in Surrey depicting heaven above and hell below that you might want to study for your edification OP

  • But at least the artist was generous enough to include a ladder from one place to the other Wink
Alliwantisaroomsomewhere · 27/09/2011 12:19

With your SIL's attitude, best you remind her about Mary Magdalene and who her best buddy was.

WhoseGotMyEyebrows · 27/09/2011 12:21

I think it's hilarious that you would in the "evolution area" and she disaproves of that as well! Grin

Is it very Christian to tell someone that they and their children will be going to hell?

I am outraged for you!

GalaxyWeaver · 27/09/2011 12:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.