about SIL and sharing a bed?

[bumblybumblebee]

I know I know but for Xmas we are all going to my grandparents house, though both dead now we all keep it as a holiday home thing and all use it equally. Their are 4 of us, DCs and our Parents

DP and I are not married and I'm pg with 3rd.
SIL of DBro2 is a very devout evangelical christian (my family are methodists - though we all vary in our devoutness).
I am the only one not married with a partner (both DBros are married and DSis is single)
SIL has said that she is uncomfortable sleeping in the same house as us knowing we are sleeping together and would it be possible for us to sleep in separate rooms? It is for this reason that they will not stay over at ours generally. She is very very uncomfortable about it

It's not her house neither is it mine.

So AIBU to tell her to take a hike and noway are we not sleeping in same bed just because doing so would make her uncomfortable?

Oh my goodness. OP, I could be described as an evangelical Christian but I think your Sister in law is being very unreasonable and quite ungracious. It's regrettable that there are people like that who make us look like bigoted loons. I remember not being a Christian and having someone else's beliefs that I didn't believe in at the time being shoved down my throat and being told I was going to hell. If she's going to let your sleeping arrangements with the father of your child spoil her Christmas that's really not your problem.

Is anybody else wondering why it's taken her 5 years to make this request - do you think she's just been silently seething all this time and only just got the nerve up to say anything?

Definitely think she is in the wrong and op in the right. Op great phone conversation!

I was brought up in a strict Christian family and later on had a friend who was living with her bf & children. I asked a dear old lady in my church if she considered this friend to be committing a sin, and to my surprise she said that she did not, that if they were committed to each other then they were, in effect, married.

It's a shame that your SIL isn't more enlightened.

Yeah, that's why I think there's something else going on, that is prompting her to assert their married status.

BoulevardOfBrokenSleep

Yes I am fairly sure some of the contributors have equal depths of intolerance considering their vitriolic responses.

Funnily enough, I was at a church service on Sunday where the minister spoke about how she now cringes about her behaviour many years ago as a student when she was involved with the Evangelical movement and very judgemental of others.

Her take on it being that God has a plan for each of us and we don't need to go interfering in others', that is between Him and them.

And another thing - why are so many of these people OBSESSED with sex? I suspect they might be rather disappointed at the lack of depravity in the lives and bedrooms of unmarried/gay couples if they took the trouble to get to know them, some of their fellow-believers however...

I was brought up as a Methodist. My grandfahter was a Methodist lay preacher.
From everything I learned then (I am not now a practising Christian, being an athiest and all) it seems most unhumble to be disapproving of other people's behaviour and trying to tell them what to do. In my day, we trusted God to make judgements on others and our own conscience to deal with our own behaviour.

FancyForgetting I think you have hit the nail on the head. I suspect that in years to come the SiL will also cringe at the crassness of her behaviour. It is very easy to be so taken with ones own convictions that one forgets the convictions of others also have total legitimacy.

bumblybumblebee I think you have given your SiL a lesson in what is acceptable behaviour. If you can find it in you (but I dont think you have to do this) it would be a kindness to not refer to this in future years!

Wow - read your update, what a complete cow. Glad you told her where to stick her stupid request.

Stick to your guns.

YANBU at all. Tell her that if she is uncomfortable with it, that's her problem so she does not have to stay. How does she think that your 3 dc came about, immaculate conception

Oh just read your update, what a rude, pretensious cow, good on you

Like Bu, I was brought up as a methodist and taught 'judge not.'

I went to a fairly clappy methodist wedding yesterday. The couple had lived together for ages but the minister was happy to marry them not judge them. I think some wedding preparation classes were involved but that's just like counselling on account, really, not judging.

I'm a bit lapsed, btw.

OP I love your response to her
Good on ya!

Oh, I don't know, a lot of fun could be had with someone like this. After what she said to you, I'd be so tempted to wind her up something awful, in a nice, passive aggressive way of course.