To wonder why anyone with school-aged children would want to be a SAHM?

[Badtasteflump]

And what they do all day?

I have my flame-proof hard-hat ready

In the spirit of the general shit-stirring on here today I though I would ask this - as I do really wonder. Fair enough when you have pre-school aged children, I can understand wanting to be a SAHM. But once your children are at school full-time, what is there to do all day?

I work PT (school hours, basically). I manage (jointly with DH) to get all the housework, cooking, diy, etc) done in the evenings & weekends, no problem. If I were at home all day I really think I would go a bit mad - either that or I fear I would gradually become relegated to the role of house-slave, doing all the housework and childcare myself because I wouldn't have the excuse of a 'proper' job. . .

I would love to be a SAHM once ds is at school - I'm suprised anyone would choose to work if they didn't have to

I don't find being at home boring though, I'm good at managing my time and have lots of interests to pursue.

I'm actually really looking forward to being a sahm once the children have left home!

Hoicking bosoms ...... love it!

What would happen to the job market if every SAHM went back to work?

There already are insufficient jobs to go round those people who need and/or want them. I neither need one nor want one: why should I take a job from someone who does?

Obviously that is not why I am a SAHM, that is my own choice for the benefit of my family. Anyone who wants to criticise me for my choice can fuck the fuck off and then fuck off some more, because it really isn't any of their business, just as it is none of mine why they chose to go back to work rather than stay at home. I really don't give a damn what other people chose.

Riveninabingle, I don't understand your issue with Gay- being a carer is not 'self indulgent pissfarting' and I think she said so in as many words.

Riding horses, making jam, meeting friends at cafes, doing the odd weekday afternoon at a charity shop while doing not much else THAT'S pissfarting around. Not being responsible for another person who can't do everything for themselves. I don't think being a carer is 'pissfarting' around and nor does anybody else.

'If we define people purely through paid work then where does that leave retired people or those who have disabilities.'

Exactly, Jellybeans. Too much of this society is geared towards 'those who contribute' and 'what you do.' Is our worth in what job we do? Is that how we must be defined?

I cannot work out of home through disability, or maybe it's just cos I like pissfarting around Jeremy Kyle.

Charity shop work isn;t self indulgent piss farting; plenty of studies out there to show that if you want to blow the economy sky high do away with volunteers.

Except that's what research out today shows- volunteer numbers going through floor since advent of big society.

pissfarting around watching Jeremy Kyle

oh dear

Retired people have worked. Retirement is their time to get off the merry-go-round of work. Disabled people may not be able to work -even if they really want to.

Not working when it is possible for a person to work is different from not being able to.
And, sorry, but a sahp whose children are in school, who is not caring for an elderly relative, or not involved in a caring capacity for one of her children who has special needs (a child with special needs may require a lot of time and attention and being a carer is full-time job in itself) does appear to be spending her time 'pissfarting' around to some.

Fair comment about the charity shop work, SanciMoanyArse.

And now I'm wondering what on earth is wrong with pissfarting (other than the anatomical implications). The world would probably be a much happier place if everyone had the time and resources for some self-indulgent pissfarting.

''I would love to be a SAHM once ds is at school - I'm suprised anyone would choose to work if they didn't have to grin''

I have, I have done both, stayed at home and now choose to work 18 hrs a week.

I choose that.

So, Wamster, where are all these jobs for current SAHMs going to come from?

And what business is it of yours what a SAHM is doing with her day anyway? Do I judge whether your work is worthy enough or just "pissfarting" about with something that really doesn't need doing?

Oh wamster, you sound like you need to do a bit more pissfarting around, would maybe chill you out a bit and make you a bit less judgypants perhaps .

Here we go again with the totally inappropriate comment like 'what business is it of yours' . Erm, none really, but as it is a thread I thought I'd say something about the subject, as you do on internet forums.

Almost everyone on this thread seems absolutely thrilled with their life, which is great. Still, I can't help suspecting that lots of people have an axe to grind.

I would LOVE to have more work, and I do feel like I am not using all the different parts of myself; some sides seem to have atrophied after 15 years of mainly SAHM-dom (I have always worked a bit, just not as much as I would like, now that the kids are frighteningly old). I worry about the future for myself.

I guess I feel that most people are muddling along, compromising, doing the best they can. I don't know many people in RL who feel sure most of the time that they have the best balance they can imagine, though I do know a few who come pretty darn close.

And having been in the position where I pissfarted around living off my dh for a few months like some leech and found it soul-destroying, I'm pretty qualified to comment.
No satisfaction in it at all. No work, no real leisure. Ying and yang and all that.

Wamster, you are "pretty qualified to comment" on your own experience, not every one who doesn't work outside the home. You found it soul destroying, you went back to work, you are apparently happier (although that doesn't particularly come across, rather a lot of bitterness & resentment does though). Good for you.

What on earth is wrong with pissfarting around between 9am-3pm if you can afford to though?

Pag - it was because you picked me out to start with. I was happy to contribute without having a go at particular posters. So that is why.

Luckily for me because of the work and the voluntary work I do I do get to meet people from a wide cross section of society so I am probably more informed than some but obviously less than others.

No doubt your cries of cliches are an attempt to discredit my (and others) thoughts on the topic but what you don't seem to understand that simply because a great many people share the same thought (ie making jt a cliche) doesn't actually make it less valid.

Anyway this really is rather a dull pointless argument since as I said previously you are satisfied with being a SAHM, I'm not. That's it in nutshell really.

I can afford to pissfart AND also choose to work. Lucky me, eh.

Nobody has the perfect life.

I may or may not pissfart around.

I may or may not spend ages cleaning.

I may or may not get really bored.

I may or may not have coffee with friends.

BUT

It's my life

I am happy

DH is happy

DSs are happy

So...

All I've done today is make some soup and have a wander round the shops with my Mum. That's all I've done. Not even managed any pissfarting.