To wonder why anyone with school-aged children would want to be a SAHM?

[Badtasteflump]

And what they do all day?

I have my flame-proof hard-hat ready

In the spirit of the general shit-stirring on here today I though I would ask this - as I do really wonder. Fair enough when you have pre-school aged children, I can understand wanting to be a SAHM. But once your children are at school full-time, what is there to do all day?

I work PT (school hours, basically). I manage (jointly with DH) to get all the housework, cooking, diy, etc) done in the evenings & weekends, no problem. If I were at home all day I really think I would go a bit mad - either that or I fear I would gradually become relegated to the role of house-slave, doing all the housework and childcare myself because I wouldn't have the excuse of a 'proper' job. . .

Indeed Howling.

I think I will get me a job right now and DH can do exactly 50% of what I do ( just like the OP) even though he's quite often on the other side if the globe.

dont see its anybodies business really is it?

every family unit works differently and whose whats right or wrong.

i can personally say that I NEVER get bored being a sahm and I dont get bored now working full time, if you get bored ever (over the age of 10)then you must be a bit thick really..

quiettiger I think your life is a dream. I always wanted to marry a farmer. instead I married a business and bought an old farm! ( only for horses, though!)

My husband is one lucky sod. His profession is his passion and has been since he was 6. He'd do it for free. He spends his spare time down in his man-cave in the cellar doing more of the same. On top of that, he gets all his meals provided and never has to do any housework. He's in man heaven.

and here we go again, ripping each other to peices.

God,its like breast v bottle, do what the fuck you want and keep your nose out of other peoples business

Jilly - trust me, if you married a farmer, you'd be marrying a business!

I'm very lucky, although it does have it's moments usually when DH comes in at stupid o'clock and says we need to be up at 4am to send cattle to market

if we kept out of each others business, there would be no mumsnet!

my dd likes it when he somes home and somone is here also my oh likes it when he comes home to a cooked meal and i like having long lunches with my firiends

Isn't it funny that a good number of the WOHMs on this thread would love to give up work and have 6 hours of leisure time every day.

However, seemingly the DHs of most SAHMs on this thread all absolutely LOVE their jobs, and would hate to have 6 hours free evry day!

My DP is a web developer and love his job, He loves the web studio he works in even more. They have pool tables, dart boards, whiskey when they want it, great music playing all day and the list goes on.

I know he works hard but forgive me if I don't sit at home and worry because he goes into a place of business and I don't. We are both very happy with our lives so why should either of us feel guilty?

So many guilty sounding responses in here!

God, reading this thread is painful and funny but I agree with Thebody do we have to tear each other apart? Honestly, if you work great, if you don't great, what others choose to do makes no difference to your own experience. I have a DH who loves his career so I feel no guilt at being at home or spending OUR money. I hated work, had a shitty boss so I also don't miss my job or the stress! But at the same time I'm happy for those who love their jobs and hate being at home. We are all different & that's what makes life fun.

I work PT (school hours); it's a pretty dull job but necessary to pay the bills. When I'm not at work I run around doing the usual chores.

I would love to be a SAHM and like to think that I would fill the hours productively with all sorts of worthy activities.

Whereas, in reality, I'd probably lounge about on the sofa reading magazine, watching junk TV and doing MN. I find the less I have to do the less I actually get done!!

(Wouldn't mind giving it a go, though.....)

redyam - which?

SAHMs are a bit damned even by attempting to explain. It's interpreted as guilty justification by people who are jealous don't understand.

Cointreau - that's what started happening with me. I was becoming not very good at being a SAHM

Or we're smug or lazy or brain dead or guilty or live off our husbands or shagging our gardeners or Stepford wives or bored or boring or one step from the gutter in a divorce or looked down upon or talk about unicorns or unemployable or a slave.

Or maybe, just maybe, we are absolutely, perfectly happy.

Am i the only one not shagging the gardener!!!!!!

Will need to put that on Tuesdays list

i shag my gardner but dont suppose he counts as dh..

guess its the asda home shop delivery guy for me then, bollocks

ah, I dont like the green uniform

The window cleaners not bad mind

I don't know about others, can only speak for my own husband. He is an autistic scientist. From the minute he gets up until he goes to bed his thoughts are 'what would happen if .........'. As a child he would spend his pocket money on chemistry sets and chemicals from the local chemist. His poor mother doesn't know half of what he was up to in the garden shed. It really is his life blood.

As you know, we're in Sweden. That means he gets 6 weeks holiday a year. He rarely takes any of it. It's a battle to get him to take a week off once a year. Even then he scribbling down equations and formulae and circuits and stuff. We're off to England soon for a holiday. He's bought himself a book to read which is bigger than the yellowpages. It's called Electricity And Magnetism, is produced by Oxford University and describes itself as 'as up-to-date account of the principles and experimental aspects of electricity and magnetism, together with an elementary account of the underlying atomic theory. This is not his field, he's bought this for fun.

Fundamentaly I am confused as to why anyone really give two hoots what I do with my days, I fail to see how it impinges on anyone (other than DH & Cs) how I chose to spend my time.

Why do you care? Why make disparaging remarks about SAHMs when it affects your life not a jot?

I would not dream of making similarly sneery comments about your decisions or relationships as your life is your own & you are free to do with it what you choose, so why do so about mine?

What is it about the SAHM that offends your sensibilities so gravely?

Queer.

I met the gardener here for the first time today. No thanks. I want my own lithe young Swede like Kladds

yes actually kladds your dh does sound like a hot spoff, think i must be ovulating, wierd.

Cointreau / getawayfromher

I think that what suits one day won't suit the next. We change as we get older and our families change too. So many people will want and need different things at different times. If I started to hate being here I may change things. Nothing is cast in stone really.
I was the wohm career woman when ds2s difficulties surfaced so I had my perspective changed. I thought I would always have a career. I had been at it 16 years.

I think the most shocking thing about this whole thread is the lack of imagination from some posters - that they can't imagine someone who choses a life different to theirs.

I figure do what makes you and those you love as happy as is possible given the circumstances.

Anyway, I'm off to read about the bond market whilst bathing the DCs .