To wonder why anyone with school-aged children would want to be a SAHM?

[Badtasteflump]

And what they do all day?

I have my flame-proof hard-hat ready

In the spirit of the general shit-stirring on here today I though I would ask this - as I do really wonder. Fair enough when you have pre-school aged children, I can understand wanting to be a SAHM. But once your children are at school full-time, what is there to do all day?

I work PT (school hours, basically). I manage (jointly with DH) to get all the housework, cooking, diy, etc) done in the evenings & weekends, no problem. If I were at home all day I really think I would go a bit mad - either that or I fear I would gradually become relegated to the role of house-slave, doing all the housework and childcare myself because I wouldn't have the excuse of a 'proper' job. . .

Will there be enough gardeners to go round are shall we bring our own?

Yes. I don't have a pool. You win. Because everyone else meant theirs too.
I really do shag lots of gardeners. [true]

Gay40
Do people really talk to you about washing liquid. Does it worry you that that is the topic they reach for when you are around?

"So, it's all off the backs of your hard working husbands in reality and you call yourself feminists? fucking hypocrites more like."

Doubt Kessya will hang around to read the rest of the thread... but...

I m currently a SAHM. I have no DH - totally single. I claim no benefit (except child benefit). How does that fit in with your sterotype?

I SAHM because I'm struggling to find a job thats part-time enough to allow me to enjoy DS while he's still at home the last 6 years have flwon by - no doubt the next 10 or so will too and I doubt I will be lying on my death bed saying " oh damn I wished I'd worked more".

It's lovely if you can do it without being too skint because you can (within reason) do whatever floats your particular boat.

Like I said previously if someone else's choices in no way impact on your life why on earth would it bother you unless you are a shit stirring troll

I'm not jealous that I can't stay at home f/t Fanjo - I feel absolutely blessed that I have a p/t job that I enjoy outside of the house and time to do all my hobbies when I'm not at work.

I am glad you are happy :)

I want everyone to be happy. Life is far too short to waste on comparisons, jealousies and whinging. That's why I think that if anyone DOES have an issue with folk who choose to be at home, it must boil down to

I seed your gardners in my films, Paggy

OP, in the spirit of sharing information (and many have been very forthcoming with how they spend their day if not doing paid work), what do you do at work? Anything interesting? How do you spend a typical working day? Are you not to use your own words, not just relegated to being a slave to your employer?

I like my independence and being able to pay for things myself. I don't want to live with someone else who funds us all. I don't want to give DD the impression that lesbians sit at home farting around with the OU and go to the gym in the faint hope that developing a bit of muscle tone will keep their lesbian lovers interested.
I know a fair amount of lesbians and they have nowt to say of any worth (no offence). I'm not interested in brands of washing up liquid or voluntary work down the unicorn sanctuary.
But each to their own.

• feel free to interchange lesbians with blacks, Jews and gays.

Just in case talking about SAHM's like that wasn't quite offensive enough.

Oh and OP if you think we should all be working hard how come you only work part time you a lightweight or something???

'I know a fair amount of SAHMs and they have nowt to say of any worth (no offence). I'm not interested in brands of washing up liquid or voluntary work down the unicorn sanctuary.'

Well the SAHMS I know discussed today differences of educational outcome according to background; the political situation in Kosovo; the potential demise of the Euro; bombings in Kabul and South Sudan and running a visiting rota and freezer filling rota for a mutual friend currently hospitalised with leukaemia,who has teenage kids. No washing up liquid brands or unicorn sanctuaries discussed. As a SAHM I had a very interesting discussion on Somalia the other night with an FCO bod, and the positions taken by NATO and the EU and what could be realistically achieved there., but hey, that might bore you and be 'nowt of worth'.

jilly - i was quite taken aback until I got to the end of your post

Okaaaaay Gay

Bloody offensive tbh.

I take it you missed the posts about carers and voluntary work on here?

If my childrenacan afford to do voluntary work as adults I will be thrilled and proud of them.

DH fathered these kids, they ahve SN, we sort it out between us, there's no reduced status in that and I can assure you I am too busy doing my research to disucss washing up liquid beyond the elvel of 'have you run out DH and would you like me to shovesome on Tescos order this week?'

Becuase washing up is his job. And plenty is my domain And my MA is not with the OU btw. Not that it's an issue if it is- OU is pretty good. but it's not and I am proud of what I have managed to combine with being a carer. Including 4 happy kids who exceed my expectations daily.

So ner de ner and good day to you.

I've overheard them. Dear lord, it's bloody boring. See, I can witter about the laundry as much as the next person. But not when that's the sole topic of the day.

If people don't want to work and can afford not to, then good luck to them. As I've said, I'm torn as to what I would prefer if I won the lottery!

But for those who say they want to work when their DCs start school, and claim that people with school hour jobs are incredibly lucky, can I say its not actually all down to luck. Decent paid school hours jobs don't just fall into your laps usually.

I have worked (more or less) school hours since DC1 was born - advanced planning knowing that the school issue was going to be a real problem with no relations nearby and a DH who works longish hours. This meant often paying for full days in nursery even though DCs weren't in there all day, using much more petrol than other pt parents who worked the same hours over 2 or 3 full days etc. Plus I still have to sort out 17 weeks school holidays a year!

So its not necessarily luck to get a school hours job, it may well just be down to a lot of negotiation, compromise and loss of income (plus a lot of trying to get work done in the evenings!), and a hell of a lot of advance planning.

Multi tasking hully. Always good.
I love that you post about your hard core porn watching and not an eye lid gets batted

Don't be rude about peoples jobs people!
Any employment that meets your financial, social or personal needs (and is legal) is good. Different people, different circumstances, different choices.

Pagwatch's gardener wasn't up to much in the sack but her butler was hung like a donkey.

Not even got rid of all my children to school yet but another reason to add to the ones already mentioned is that I can't leave the dog more than a few hours easily.

"So, it's all off the backs of your hard working husbands in reality and you call yourself feminists? fucking hypocrites more like."
Really? I mean fucking really? Because a job that pays money is the only work isn't it. How about he is able to do the job he enjoys (most of the time) because I enable it by doing a job I enjoy (most of the time)
We are a team. I'm sorry if you think working to your strengths within a team is against feminism because that's just bollocks really isn't it

Her butler IS a donkey

And lmao at unicorn sanctuary

I'm a bit shocked by all the posts saying "because I can". Is that really a valid reason for doing anything? There's loads of stuff I can do, but don't, or shouldn't.
If you're happy with your life, cool, like thefirstmrsdevere said it's nice to, see instead of whingey stuff but I think (hope) the OP was asking a genuine question.
And fwiw I work part time, in what I consider to be a worthwhile job that I love (not the checkouts at Asda, but would it matter if it was ?) and really resent the looks I get when I'm out and about with DS in the day. I think a lot of people can be very judgemental about SAHM and look at me like I must be be lazy, or a sponger or somesuch.

Or maybe I just have food on my face, I dunno [at-a-loss-shrug].

I don't really mind if people get offended. I'm not here to win friends, influence people or get in with the MN masseef. Yeah yeah yeah for 'carers' and voluntary work, aren't you all frigging marvellous, etc etc.

Parents with SN kids - full respect to you all, unequivocably, with no argument.

Interesting how the OP has disappeared. Why create a post like this if you not going to stick around and discuss in an intelligent manner?

Pag can I whine about how crap my old hob was please? It really really was. We got free sunny d though and the high point weas when bosses son turned orange.

Otherwise- nah.