To wonder why anyone with school-aged children would want to be a SAHM?

[Badtasteflump]

And what they do all day?

I have my flame-proof hard-hat ready

In the spirit of the general shit-stirring on here today I though I would ask this - as I do really wonder. Fair enough when you have pre-school aged children, I can understand wanting to be a SAHM. But once your children are at school full-time, what is there to do all day?

I work PT (school hours, basically). I manage (jointly with DH) to get all the housework, cooking, diy, etc) done in the evenings & weekends, no problem. If I were at home all day I really think I would go a bit mad - either that or I fear I would gradually become relegated to the role of house-slave, doing all the housework and childcare myself because I wouldn't have the excuse of a 'proper' job. . .

My mother never worked outside the home after she had children AND she had a cleaner and, at times, other staff.

I want her life!

I'm a sahm, I can afford not to work, and I choose not to work. I'm not boring, I spend my days at the stables riding or socialising with friends, I get my hair done, I have my nails done, sometimes I have a lazy day and just watch tv and post on mumsnet. I'm rarely bored, and when my kids come home I spend all my time with them as the housework etc is all already done.
I could get a job if I chose, I have good qualifications, am presentable, intelligent and have good people skills. I consider myself fortunate that I don't need to work, and that I can spend my days doing pretty much what the hell I like.

The only reason I can see for anyone to have a problem with a person being at stay at home parent is jealousy of the fact they can afford not to work.

I am jealous of this. I would adore being able to stay at home. I would love to be able to afford for only half of our partnership to work - especially as DP has just been made redundant for the second time this year.

YABU I was SAHM until my youngest was 8. I always had plenty to do and I didn't have to find childcare or take the day of work.

It makes a nice change to see posts from women who admit to having a nice life.

I am so fecking sick of seeing whingy posts from grown ups who think everyone else has it better than them.

I dont mean legitimate vents from people struggling with the crap life throws at them.
I mean those endless fecking threads about neighbours getting free cars and single mums with hot tubs provided by the state and SILs who get £10 more WTC than the OP.

Hurray for counting blessings.

Boo to big fat moany pants.

Hear, hear MrsDeVere!

I've only skimmed this thread (I know...) but I've yet to see Mumnetting as a day filler

I'm not jealous that I can't stay at home f/t Fanjo - I feel absolutely blessed that I have a p/t job that I enjoy outside of the house and time to do all my hobbies when I'm not at work.

"But aren't you going maaaaddd Bunbaker? "

Erm, no.

Like Maise... I enjoy my job and I enjoy the days I am not at work. I have friends I see on my days off that I wouldn't otherwise see. I like to make time for my friends and they make time for me.

I'm a SAHM at the moment because DD is only at school for halfdays but when both DC are in school full time I will have no choice but to work. I would love not to, I prefer being at home, can't think of any job that would make me happy enough to want to do it, thus I will end up doing something I don't like. But I can't stay at home when there's no reason for me to be here. I can just imagine the reactions I would get from MIL etc if I did continue not to work with no children here.

I'm not even a sahm

I'm a wohm who still watches hard core all day

How hard am I?

Also, OP, you should have said what does and doesn't count as work.

Did you mean paid employment in an office?

Or doing the unpaid grunt work that keeps the planet turning?

I work freelance because I have children. Before them I'd never have gone freelance, it's crap, but it's better for me than working full-time because I really want to do school pick-ups and drop-offs and have their friends to play and all that jazz. I wasn't able to do it for my eldest child and regret it.

I'd find it hard to find a job that was the same hours as my children's school - i.e. 4 hours a day for about half the weeks of the year. In my field any job like that would be a bit pointless.

I'd MUCH rather be doing interesting things of my own than putting in the hours in some dead-end job at someone else's beck and call. I practically farm the garden, look after 5 pets, study (OU), prepare food (when I have work on I get reduced to fish fingers and chips - when I have free time I make proper food), keep on top (well mostly) of the laundry, etc. During school time on days I am not working I go for an hour's run, walk the dog, do supermarket shopping, work in the garden, do sewing or whatever - and after school we do playgrounds, parks, beach, and so on, and have their friends over to play. I am out a lot in the evenings - mainly theatres/book launches etc - for work but it's usually after bedtime and it's a lot of fun and my husband can come if he wants to.

We live in an interesting city and have interesting friends and interesting children and an interesting marriage and if I couldn't make an interesting life for myself out of all despite not working full-time that I'd be a great big ball o' shite. In fact if I were working full-time I'd never get to do two-thirds of the things I want to.

But OP you don't really care, do you? You don't even want to stir up shit. I can tell from the way you word your post all you really want to do is make anyone who is a SAHM feel shit about herself, because You Are Better. Sadly for you, you actually aren't, and your post proves it.

"what is there to do all day?"

Whatever the feck I like.

I like my independence and being able to pay for things myself. I don't want to live with someone else who funds us all. I don't want to give DD the impression that women sit at home farting around with the OU and go to the gym in the faint hope that developing a bit of muscle tone will keep their DHs interested.

I know a fair amount of SAHMs and they have nowt to say of any worth (no offence). I'm not interested in brands of washing up liquid or voluntary work down the unicorn sanctuary.
But each to their own.

Riv. I have a selection of gardeners. You could pick one.

Roalddahl

Post Of The Week

This thread has cheered me up, just what I needed. I have been a sahm with my 3 daughters at school and nursery since may. My 2 year old has been doing school days as I have a medical condition which may or may not rear it's ugly head again. I honestly have not been bored intact so far there are just not enough hours in the day.

I've feeling a bit rubbish about no getting as much done s I though I would so it's good to here positive replies from other sahm. Dd3 will be cutting he days down to 2 in a few weeks but when she starts school I doubt I will work much if at all.

If yo can sahm and want to then why not? Childcare is too expensive.

I have a live in maid .She cooks cleans and babysits.
The gardener is rather cute but the pool boy has questionable hygiene

Do I win?

My gardener is a woman...how about a little girl on girl?

Hands down, wordsonapage

But I bet you're maaad and bored. Quick, get behind the checkout at Asda to feel valued.

Saying "Each to their own" after your post GAY doesn't make it any less rude and judgemental

The next mumsnet meet is an orgy in pagwatch's garden. During school hours.