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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To keep 4yo DS off school for my 40th birthday?

268 replies

cadifflur · 21/09/2011 11:55

DS has just started reception class and we're keeping him off school for 3 days as we're going away this weekend, get back Monday, then Tues it's my birthday. Am I being ridiculous to worry about keeping him off school for 3 days so early in the new school year? He's settled in ok and really seems to enjoy learning, gets a little bit clingy when I drop him off but soon settles once I've gone. We just thought we'd keep him off for my birthday too as there are many years ahead now when he'll be in school for it. DH is off for the day and we'll be going out for lunch with DD (2yo) and other family. AIBU to keep him off school for the day or is this ok?

OP posts:
severnofnine · 21/09/2011 16:18

It seems a bit odd to me.... you see I can understand taking a day off for a holiday but it does seem a bit self indulgent to do it for your birthday lunch. I have known people taking their children out of school to go on a special "birthday shopping" trip on their birthday and I was a bit Shock

GenevieveHawkings · 21/09/2011 16:28

I'm not flaming the OP for keeping her DS out of school for a day. I also don't think it's unreasonable to keep him off school for a day if they're going away for a few days. I just can't get my head around her comment that the child will be in school for all her birthdays from now on. Who cares?

acmeexplosives · 21/09/2011 16:34

Oh please everyone, give her a break!
OP take him out, enjoy your birthday and family time. He is 4! He will catch up both 'academically' and socially. What is so unreasonable?
Have fun, the school has authorised it, he will be fine. Please don't listen to the ridiculous comments on here.
Oh, and if it helps, I am a teacher, and if it was my son (and I wasn't teaching!) I wouldn't think twice.

minimisschief · 21/09/2011 16:41

Go for it. School isn't the big all and end all and primary school in particular is pretty pointless for the most part.

Raises flame shield

BimboNo5 · 21/09/2011 16:44

A holiday is a little different to taking a child out of school for a day because it is YOUR (not even their) birthday, it just seems so self indulgent.

PrincessTamTam · 21/09/2011 16:47

No brainer. Do it - he is 4 ffs! Really, you have good reasons, you won't make a habit of it, his teacher who knows him says it's fine. Education is very important and as they get older its vital they attend properly, but a 4 yo?! Honestly, you have YEARS ahead of sticking to school rules on attendance, you sound like a good mum, it's fine.

acmeexplosives · 21/09/2011 16:53

Bimbo, but what effect do you think it will have? We live in a cuture that sadly doesn't promote quality family time. Why is it self-indulgent to spend a few days as a family which all will benefit from? It is a special occassion, and by the sounds of it things have been difficult for the OP. He will not miss out on work, and it isn't sending the wrong message. I regularly kept my August born son home from school in the first term as he was too tired to cope. He is now doing brilliantly, especially considering he is the youngest in his year.
Seriously people, surely there are much more important things to worry about than a 4 year old spending a few quality days with his family rather than sticking, playing and learning the odd number or sound!

baguettecut · 21/09/2011 16:55

Life is too short not to create memories for your children & family.

He's four years old. It's not indulgent to want to mark a special ocassion with the whole family. Hiliarious & bizarre to suggest it is!

baguettecut · 21/09/2011 16:56

occasion obvs!

usualsuspect · 21/09/2011 16:58

YANBU, hes 4 ,have a lovely time

LadyBeagleEyes · 21/09/2011 17:00

I can't believe the posters who are so vehemently against this.
I took my 15 year old out last year as we had family visiting so he had the Friday and the Monday off.
He still managed to get seven 1s and a 2 in his standard grades, and is now doing five highers.
I hope Op has a lovely birthday with her lovely family around her.

Rebecca41 · 21/09/2011 18:05

OP, people seem to be objecting to the fact that it's your birthday that the lunch is celebrating. I imagine if you'd said it was a "special family gathering" then far fewer people would say it was unreasonable. I'm not sure why though.

Personally I think the reason for the celebration is irrelevant. The fact is you're all getting together for a nice lunch, and it's a happy occasion. I see no reason why your 4 year old should be forced to miss this, and instead spend his day playing in the school sandpit while occasionally doing some jolly phonics.

Take him out of school have a nice day, and don't read this thread any more!

pranma · 21/09/2011 18:14

YANBU at all-it is a one off, a special family occasion and there will be photographs and memories.It would be awful for him not to be there.Of course he should be included.Re 2.5 yr olds talking my dgs-will be 3 in feb]can chat at great length about what he has done and wouldnt hesitate to tell his broyher all about it.

GenevieveHawkings · 21/09/2011 19:35

Sorry but unless you're 100, birthdays after the age of 21 are self-indulgant. I can't bear adults who make a great big hoo-ha about their birthdays as if they were children, fussing about parties and presents and having to do something special that's all about me, me me. Grow up FFS.

And as for the contributor who said:

"Life is too short not to create memories for your children & family "

Surely there is ample scope to do this in the evenings, at weekends and during the interminable school holidays that come around with a monotonous regularity.

I can't say I'm scarred by never celebrating my mother's birthday with her in childhood when it happened to fall on a school day. I daresay billions of other people can say the same thing.

Bizarre.

ShirelyKnottage · 21/09/2011 19:39

The thing I find most curious is that those barking that the OP is self indulgent, ridiculous, fussing, precious, juvenile and selfish are so outraged!

Don't want to take your 4 year old out of school for the day/a weekend/ a week? Don't do it. No need to go into such frothing insult throwing Hmm

That's what I find bizarre.

madmomma · 21/09/2011 19:41

YANBU at all. He's 4; practically a baby, and family time is important.

usualsuspect · 21/09/2011 19:42

GenevieveHawkings ,why so het up

Does no one remember your birthday?
and my birthday is all about me me me if you don't mind

baguettecut · 21/09/2011 19:45

Bloody Hell, some people are a bundle of laughs !

Crumbletopping · 21/09/2011 19:51

Go for it and happy birthday :)

Meteorite · 21/09/2011 19:51

YABU. I think it's a shame to take it for granted that we have access to free state education in this country. Plenty of holidays in which to do other things.

PrincessTamTam · 21/09/2011 19:52

HE IS 4!!! ???
If she likes to celebrate her birthday... why shouldn't she? IME adult birthdays are really an excuse to get together with family/friends you may not see that often, its not just about the actual birthday. Nobody will be scarred either way, it's NOT that important.

Clumsymum · 21/09/2011 20:05

Oh for heavens sake, if you want him to come with you on your 40th birthday, do it, primary school at this age is just playing at stuff anyway.

I know all the theory - teaching him that school is important, it isn't just childcare you can opt in and out of, etc etc.

But I'm now 50. a couple of years ago one of my school friends (same age as me. obv. ) DIED. She left 2 youngish children (we were all from very academic backgrounds, career first and all that), and my bet is that her DH - and kids possibly - would encourage you to spend as much time as you want to - or can afford to- with your kids, cos we don't know what is around the corner.

For what it's worth, we took my 11 y.o. (Y6) son out of school for 2 whole weeks last november, so that we could all spend my 50th on a beach in Jamaica. I don't regret it now, I know I never will.
Life is too bl%%dy short to start worrying about days away from infant school aged 4.

Have a lovely birthday

scottishmummy · 21/09/2011 20:08

3 days and your birthday is excessive and unnecessary
maybe you will always find more must do reasons to keep him off
its slack

baguettecut · 21/09/2011 20:16

Sometimes in life, I find it's very liberating to be slack, unnecessary and excessive. Smile

ShirelyKnottage · 21/09/2011 20:19

I'm slack and excessive.