AIBU to suddenly abandon long held principles because I can?

[Cathycomehome]

My child is already being let down by his outstanding secondary school. He passed the entrance exams to two selective schools this year (with low scores for a pass ; he is not brain of Britain). The local secondary school have ignored his statement and his IEP recomendations AGAIN.

His teacher assessment levels have been ignored.

I had a very constructive meeting with the Head and Head of KS3 today, but still feel disquieted (if that's a word). Never thought I'd consider private schooling - am doing so since my parents will pay. Feels ideologically wrong. Help?

PS my son's special need requires medication, but he does not have learning difficulties.

Hully I do love you!

So true. At my daughter's state school, when they do hockey matches against other schools, rather than hosting them at their own they just meet down the rec, and instead of 'hip hip hurray' for the other team afterwards, they each kick the head of their opponent as hard as they can before grunting and knuckle-walking their way back to the mini bus.

Oh mal, that is so sad.

I know. Confidence in bits, poor love.

Mal, I did think twice about the sports bit, thinking there must be some state schools where they do the tea bit, but round my way they don't. But I didn't want to say do state schools do that? cos it would look really bad and I would look like a wanker.

Not tea, to be fair, no.

Then again, the private schools they play against never give them tea either, so I'm not sure what to make of that! Do you reckon they only give teas to other private schools? Or we're just a tea-less city?

They do 'host' and cheer and all that though,but I take your point.

Ooo, imagine if they only gave tea to other private schools!

Mine are at a state school, but they do do teas, but it's a grammar so that muddies the waters even more. It must have Pretensions.

Teas are actually jolly interesting, you can tell a lot about the school from the tea.

I could tell the story about being on the footbridge when the local private gels school's lacrosse match finished and being almost pushed over by the self-entitled air and very bouncily enormous hair but I won't. I'm sure some people at private school have thin hair. Mustn't generalise.

Snazaroo I didn't think you were boasting but it is a hoor of a lot of money...

I want to find out now! She's definitely never been given a tea at any school, either private or state, but I wonder if the privates look at the fixtures and think 'oh it's only Bash Street Kids, don't bother with the scones'!

They're not 25k, most are around 18k for secondary. But then you have to get uniform and 57 types of sports kit.

I definitely had thin hair Wilson, fear not.

just do what you feel is best for your child

private school not end of world, hardly diamond mining in sierra leone

YANBU imo. You do what you have to in order to do the best for your child. If the state school can't meet his needs and you have a chance to send him somewhere that can, I would do it.

I agree that not all private schools are great. Take a careful look and make sure they meet your son's needs. If they do, go for it!

mnistooadictive Sorry you misunderstood; talking about my personal experiences of 'real-life' loud opinionated socialists - I was supporting op, and as you so mentioned I actually have an opinion too!
'Where are the these said hypocritical socialists?' Really??

hully also hit nail on the head, judge each school on its own merit and how your child will fit in/enjoy it, pastoral care is a big part of it!

Why do people care where other people send their own children to school and if they pay for it or not??

The childs needs come first I would have thought....not everyone has a lovely little state school at the end of the road.....

and not everyone can afford a lovely little private school either

We couldn't afford private education ( sadly ) but our school does have four rugby pitches, and the most technically advanced way of paying for school meals I've ever seen - I pay via parentpay and somehow the money ends up in my sons fingertip. It's like James Bond.

usual
Exactly what I'm talking about 'I can't afford it so why should you have it?'

People all have different incomes and like to spend on different things, and different things are important to each individual.
Some people put holidays etc first thats their choice, while I can afford it my spare cash goes on school fees, what right has anybody got to say I shouldn't?
Its called life we all want the best of everything but you have to make the most of what you have at the time......

No ,all children should have an equal education regardless of their parents income ,but thats never going to happen is it?

I agree usual, but no, it isn't likely.

What advantage are you giving your child at private school? It all evens out in the end - state school kids do better at Uni as they haven't been spoon-fed their GCSE's and A Levels like privately educated kids.

Socially, private schools can be grim. My DD was at 6th form college (state) with peers who had been educated in very posh, well-known and expensive private schools. They hated everything about the culture of these schools and flourished in the crappy old state system. One of their lecturers was also a visiting lecturer at Cambridge University - absolutely top class. Don't assume the worst of the state system.

Peach- I was commenting on your charming comment that we can feck off if we dont agree. Why should we- the whole point of this board is to canvass different opinions.

hey usual don't you know if you stopped all those mustique holidays you would be able send your kids to private school?????

oh yeah SEA ,the old sacrifices argument

tooaddictive As I have already said I wasn't directing at people on the thread, but people that I have the misfortune to come accross in real life that assume they can tell me I am 'wrong' for wanting a different education experience for my dc's than they want for their own dc's..

Yes wondered when the backlash would start one can only dream of Mustique - what with the school fees and all...

belle in my case I am not doing it for the academic 'results' more for the pastoral care, small classes and an evironment that makes my dc's happy - so shoot me...!
usual if you want 'equal' go and park yourself in Cuba.....
Obviously my views on this subject are not fashionable or popular, but you have to do what you feels right for your own family, I am not trying to upset or offend any of you honest!

Neither state nor private is perfect but there are very good schools in both. There are also bad schools in both. Everyone has to make the decision on their own circumstances (which can change) and really none of us has the right to judge another's decision as we don't know their child or perhaps their fears for that child.

Sometimes when I hear people (grown-ups?) slagging off the opposite system to the one they chose I wonder if I've ever left the playground.

I went to both state and private schools and my child is at a state school. I hope he'll continue there but if he needs something different I will look into different schools which could be state run or private.

Private schools don't all cost "25k" our local one is 9k a year and many people use bursaries to enable their children to attend. One of my colleagues is a single parent and her son attends on a bursary. I went to private school on an assisted place but they don't exist any more I believe.

OP, good luck with your decision. It sounds to me like you've already made it but worried about what people will think. Being an adult means being able to realise when you are wrong and being able to put others first. What would you say to your son in 20 years about your decision? Which do you think he would thank you for?