AIBU to suddenly abandon long held principles because I can?

[Cathycomehome]

My child is already being let down by his outstanding secondary school. He passed the entrance exams to two selective schools this year (with low scores for a pass ; he is not brain of Britain). The local secondary school have ignored his statement and his IEP recomendations AGAIN.

His teacher assessment levels have been ignored.

I had a very constructive meeting with the Head and Head of KS3 today, but still feel disquieted (if that's a word). Never thought I'd consider private schooling - am doing so since my parents will pay. Feels ideologically wrong. Help?

PS my son's special need requires medication, but he does not have learning difficulties.

I think you should do whatever is best for your child and fuck your principles!

really don't get the 'all private schools are brilliant' arguement

I don't either, Wilson.

tbh I'm convinced that many (by no means all) people send their DCs to private schools because they either know no different, or they don't want their DCs mixing with the rif raf. In which case a fool and their money and all that.

There are some really poor independent schools around, it's a bit like saying the whole state sector sucks.

Yep Jenai I wouldn't want to be the poorest child in a private school either. We only have one house! Imagine the deprivation

I didn't say 'all' private schools are brilliant, I am sure there are few rubbish ones. Most of them are very good and if you think that everyone who chooses private education does so because they know no better or they are are fools then I am afraid you are wrong!

They're not all brilliant by any means

But a good one will offer more sport, drama, music, art etc than a state school can, smaller classes and often imbue kids with a kind of confidence, not entitlement, confidence. In part because they get to speak up a lot more. Oh and more practice at social manners eg after sports matches, they have to host the other school, make conversation, serve and clear up etc

No point pretending it's not thus.

Mine are back in the state system now, btw, so I can walk the streets again.

not for my job you understand

Setting aside the principals, what about the money?

Can your parents comfortably afford it? Will your parents firmly commit, in writing, after legal advice for you all, to pay the fees for the whole remaining school education?

What if circumstances change (e.g. they are ill and need extensive and expensive care, you fall out, they decide for whatever reason that they won't pay anymore).

Are you comfortable taking that much money from them (presumably it costs more than £100,000 for private secondary)

Somewhere there's a long thread (maybe in education) about other family members paying school fees. Might be helpful.

hully

Yes I'm amazed anyone has to ask. This is not really a socialist country anymore. The Labour party hasn't been Socialist since '94 ( ok we have elements of Socialism, ) but we're nowhere near as Socialist as France for example, when one of their unions go out on strike the whole country backs them, when our teachers went out the Labour leader didn't even back them . Politically we are a mix of left and right - or the 'third way'. True socialism is too expensive.

So why anyone would feel guilty for abandoning socialist principles ( wrt education ) is beyond me.

Yes good point re the fees. They usually go up in year 9 btw. Will they pay the lot? Fees for my dd1s secondary are about £25,000 a year.

My only principal is to do what is best for my child, all other principals are negotiable.

Good save Hully, we believe you.

I wouldn't feel comfortable habit my (well off) folks pay, secondary school is a long time and a big commitment. What if you have a falling out? Do you have other children? If so, what about them?

Oh Hully, you have cheered us up.

I agree with those who say private schools are not necessarily better. I would not send my child to a private school as a matter of principle either.

I would look at whether what is on offer better suits your particular child and whether there is any realistic prospect of change/giving it time in the state school. If his needs aren't being met, and this is ongoing and not going to change, I would move him to the best school for him, which may or may not be private (not all private schools are necessarily great with SN, for example).

hear hear about sn

most of em are rubbish with sn

my dds isn't
look for a private school with outstanding pastoral care - this will probably be different to a selective private school. My dds is non-selective and the pastoral care is second to none.

Snaz I would expect so, for 25k a year...

What individuals do in difficult personal circumstances is not comparable to holding political beliefs about what facilities should be made available by the State. Dd is at a selective/grammar school because it has good pastoral care and she was a school refuser at 2 schools and only attended the 3rd one if I went with her. Every day. In my wheelchair. I use private health care because it's the only way I can get the most effective treatment, not available on the NHS. Without it, I was in constant pain. I still don't agree with selection or private health care and still campaign for public provision for all. That's why 'hypocritical' socialists make more noise about it- because we have direct experience of the problem and a fairly clear idea of the solution.

I think private secondaries tend to be about that, I was using as an example rather than a boast but I do realise that any discussion of private education can make those who use it sound like over-privileged wankers, I am used to it

Alice; I agree with you, but true socialism costs money and not enough people are prepared to pay for it.

Honestly do what's best for you child. You must. Take up the offer.

Hollow laugh at Tony Blair being 'the loudest socialist' you can think of!