To think DH's ex wife is taking the piss regarding maintenance?

[StickyBlisteredShitHole]

DH gives his ex wife £150 a month maintanance for their 2 DCs. Just lately she's been asking for him to contribute to this, that and everything else despite the fact that she's got the maintanance. Last night she got her DS to text DH asking him to contribute towards a school trip abroad and now today she's sending him a message asking him to contribute towards a school trip for their other son. Despite this she's booked a holiday abroad for next summer hols and no doubt we'll be expected to contribute towards that too despite the fact that we, as a family can't afford to go anywhere!
AIBU to think she's taking the piss?

Plenty of people go around procreating kids they can't afford, coz it's their right innit? why one rule for MEN with 2 families, and one rule for everyone else.

I don't understand it because I genuinly have just done another estimate on their site and it's only showing up as £37 a week. She has 2 kids living with her (they're not his, one is 19) and he only has the children (mine) once a fortnight. He never phones them or anything. It's missing me off so much. I'm struggling to pay for mobile phone top ups, uniforms, school trips, music lessons etc and he does fuck all to help. They can't be that poor considering they manage to run two cars (a 4x4 and a bloody sports car!).

Ah so none of the children living there are his then!

He sounds like a loser and you are well rid. Does the school have a hardship fund if you are struggling to pay?

Ok, ex wife - you're working too right?

I am the ex wife

Well there I hope you have your answers SB! Sounds like the ex's partner is a piece of work!

no they're not his kids. BUT she gets A LOT of maintenance for them as her ex husband is loaded well paid.

Tell me honestly - could you not think of a more appealing user name?

I am working, yes.

It's not a lot and luxuries like school trips should be a shared cost. I don't know any families on min wage who can afford holidays abroad or school
trips.

It could be that the ex is earning way above min wage and therefore expects the dc dad to meet the same standard.

But some posters are talking as if the maintenance has to cover all of the dc living costs where in fact it should cover half the costs so £300 seems more reasonable for two dc to live per month.

YABVU. My ex is earning £16.8K before tax, and the CSA startes that he is to give me £55 a week for two dc - which is £220 every 4 weeks. Assumong your partner earns more than this (most people on MN do), then YABextremelyU. The percentage your partner should be paying his Ex in maintenance for two dc is 20% of his PRE-TAX earnings. Whether you like it OR NOT!

If he is living outside his means then you need to ask for it to be
Investigated by the CSA.

The 19 year old will not be part of the calculation.

"The mother does have to have her own roof anyway I don't see why an absent parent should have to pay anything for that"

A parent with two children needs a two/three bedroom accommodation, rather than one bedroom = extra cost

I HATE WHEN PEOPLE POST PRETENDING TO BE SOMEONE ELSE!!!!!

It's dishonest and all the posts will obv be coloured with a touch of bias

If it's true then YANBU as the ex wife, but my friend is is a similar position to your ex, but obv not as much of a tight wad...

He pays £170 maintenance for 2 DS and also due to the breakup has to pay all of the debts. They were debts taken out together but in his name. He pays for a car that is in her name for example so actually he contributes about £300 to her household and pays for a car he does not have etc.. He also pays for one child's activities while she pays the other. He also had to take the family pet because she refused to pay to feed it even though she got the pet against his wishes!
She is constanty telling DSs that daddy doesn't pay enough and they are so poor because of daddy when she kicked him out! (om)

But from her perspective it's 'he only gives me 170' when it isn't the case

Now clearly that's not the case here from your posts, but just really to outline the fact if you pretend to be someone else it's clearly going to be made that TABU when they might not be?

That is why I hate it....

I HATE WHEN PEOPLE POST PRETENDING TO BE SOMEONE ELSE!!!!!

So do I. When will people learn that MN'ers don't hold back any punches on AIBU? There is really no need to lie.

OP, email your dh a link to this thread.

I posted before reading that you are the ex.

Have you got a paid job, op?

"no they're not his kids. BUT she gets A LOT of maintenance for them as her ex husband is loaded well paid."

Green eyed monster?

It's his and your responsibility to provide for your children, not hers.

yabu.

Sorry for being dishonest in my OP, I'm used to another forum where everyone just agrees with the OP and slags off the other "characters".

I have a paid job yes and am also studying to better our lives. I know her maintenance is nothing to do with me, I'm just pointing out that they're hardly living on the breadline.

I get zero from the Father of my dd's and he is currently being investigated for fraud by the CSA.... very gratifying from my point of view I can tell you

OP I would ask for him to be reassessed, it may be that his income is not right and it will do no harm to try

Oh - I can QUITE believe this is for real, unfortunately. And even if ONE of the dc in the OP's household ISN'T the OP's partner's dc - the CSA STILL reduce his payments towards his first child/ren. . But, HONESTLY - a £13K pa job?? You OBVIOUSLY haven't been honest on the CSA forms and put down your OWN income, OP, also, your Tax Credits SHOULD be included in the CSA's calculation - it is still income. Unless you are not claiming legally as a couple, and are getting tc's just based on your own earnings?