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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think DH's ex wife is taking the piss regarding maintenance?

183 replies

StickyBlisteredShitHole · 15/09/2011 17:02

DH gives his ex wife £150 a month maintanance for their 2 DCs. Just lately she's been asking for him to contribute to this, that and everything else despite the fact that she's got the maintanance. Last night she got her DS to text DH asking him to contribute towards a school trip abroad and now today she's sending him a message asking him to contribute towards a school trip for their other son. Despite this she's booked a holiday abroad for next summer hols and no doubt we'll be expected to contribute towards that too despite the fact that we, as a family can't afford to go anywhere!
AIBU to think she's taking the piss?

OP posts:
TeddyBare · 15/09/2011 17:24

picnicbasketcase No one has said that his youngest dc shouldn't be looked after. They're saying that he shouldn't have had more dc that he can't afford to look after properly.

OP YABU. Do you think that they shouldn't be allowed to go on school trips? or that they shouldn't be allowed a family holiday? Of course your dp should be paying for his dc's things.

MrsSleepy · 15/09/2011 17:24

Why shouldn't he pay for school trips?? They are his children aswell! I hate it when people think that they pay there bit and responsibility stops there, Doesn't work like that, My Ex pay's £150 for my son and he is in a VERY low paid job and that is calculated by the CSA

HerRoyalNotness · 15/09/2011 17:25

I'm not quite sure why the DC need to go on the school trip. Is it a right?

When you have 2 parents living together on low incomes and they can't afford it, they don't go.

When you have 2 parents living apart on low incomes and they can't afford the school trip, well tough, suck it up, it's their right?

If someone can't afford it, they can't afford it!

Icelollycraving · 15/09/2011 17:25

Yabvvvu!
How can you make the claim that she is living beyond her means? She gets £150 pm for 2 children. You chose to marry a man with children & have another. All your choice but you cannot expect her to fund everything regardless of her own income. Madness.

scarlettsmummy2 · 15/09/2011 17:26

just because his ex wife can afford a holiday, does not absolve him from having to pay his share of school trips for the children. Both parents are equally responsible.

if you skint, do something about it- one or both of you look for a better paid job. Are you working yourself??

DoMeDon · 15/09/2011 17:26

YABVU - imagine if it's you - he leaves and you get £150 pm for your 2 DC. Would you cope?

Cop on love - you sound greedy and selfish.

WoofToYouTooLady · 15/09/2011 17:26

Shock no increase since 2003

he is SHAMELESS, OP

Original poster
StickyBlisteredShitHole · 15/09/2011 17:26

Well I've just calculated it on the CSA website and it's still coming up as £37 a week!

OP posts:
LaurieFairyCake · 15/09/2011 17:26

Are the 2 children living in your house his too?

so he has 4 children to provide for on 13k? He really needs to try and increase his income - that's a lot of children to provide for.

Have you managed to get back to work yet??

MrsSleepy · 15/09/2011 17:28

''Are the 2 children living in your house his too?

so he has 4 children to provide for on 13k? He really needs to try and increase his income - that's a lot of children to provide for.''

I think he really needs to stop having children

squeakytoy · 15/09/2011 17:28

Has he thought about getting a better paid job so he can support all the children he seems so happy to keep having?

reelingintheyears · 15/09/2011 17:28

So OP,given all the yabu's and the reasons given..

Do you still think she is taking the piss?

Original poster
StickyBlisteredShitHole · 15/09/2011 17:28

I work part time.

OP posts:
beatrixkitto · 15/09/2011 17:29

Op people like you really, really piss me off. You knew he had kids and had to pay for them. You sound one very jealous bitter individual.

Sort your attitude out, you sound fucking horrible.

itisnearlysummer · 15/09/2011 17:30

Are the 2 children living in your house his?

Just the way you expressed it makes it sound like they're not.

nickelbabe · 15/09/2011 17:30

£37 a week is £160 a month, so even on that conservative estimate, he's under payign by £10 a month.

LoveInAColdClimate · 15/09/2011 17:30

How can anyone fund 4 children on £13k? Do you work, OP?

itisnearlysummer · 15/09/2011 17:30

I have a mental image of OP and her 'D'P that resembles something like the guests on Jeremy Kyle.

Am I right?

AlpinePony · 15/09/2011 17:31

It's not her who is living beyond her means, but your partner - four children on minimum wage? Shock

I do feel for you though, it can't be an easy situation to be in.

itisnearlysummer · 15/09/2011 17:31

Oh and someone needs to keep his willy in his trousers.

FagButt · 15/09/2011 17:31

why are you so irate about it all OP?

He was married to her first, and had those children which by all intents and purposes he needs to support.

The fact that you and he decided to have more children is besides the point. He needs to provide for them all.

You knew that when you got together with him surely?

LoveInAColdClimate · 15/09/2011 17:33

Oh, just seen that the OP works part time. It seems irresponsible to keep fathering children without considering how you will fund them, to say the least.

If (when?) your DH leaves you, OP, will you be able to manage just fine on £150 a month?

reelingintheyears · 15/09/2011 17:33

I don't feel sorry for the OP or her DP.

I feel sorry for his ex who has to pay for all the extras aswell as the basics.

And i feel sorry for all his children.

But not the OP because she knew he had children when she got with him and then went on to have two more.

NinkyNonker · 15/09/2011 17:34

And the op thinks someone else is living beyond their means...

MumblingRagDoll · 15/09/2011 17:34

You chose to have DC with a man who couldn't afford the ones he already has. Get a full time job.