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AIBU?

To be shocked at grandmother leaving a 13 month old in a pub on her own

138 replies

TheAlphaParent · 14/09/2011 19:25

My mum and I took my 13 month old daughter to Wetherspoons for a meal (6pm). The bar is in a different room to the seating area. The pub was crowded. I went to the bar to order the food whilst mum sat with my daughter. Whilst I was at the bar mum came up to me and told me that she had found a bigger table. She had left my daughter on her own in a crowded pub to come and tell me that. I nearly had a heart attack and sent her back immediately. Needless to say I gave mum a good bollocking. Her response? "Sorry I'm not perfect".

AIBU to be shocked? How could a fellow mother be so negligent?

OP posts:

Report

shinyrobot · 14/09/2011 19:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Alibabaandthe80nappies · 14/09/2011 19:51

YABU to be in Whetherspoons at all. Surely at 6pm it is full of the drunk post-work crowd?

TheAlphaParent · 14/09/2011 19:53

"Yabu You say you were most worried about your child being upset"

Where did I say that her being upset was what I was most worried about? tbh I was most worried about her safety.

OP posts:

ChippingIn · 14/09/2011 19:53

YABVU

She left her strapped into a high chair I presume or are there more drips to come.

Regardless a simple request not to do it again would suffice - she needs to be aware of your high level of PFBness - though I'm suprised it's taken her 13 months to work it out.

Notinmykitchen · 14/09/2011 19:53

YANBU OP, I can't believe anyone thinks it is reasonable to leave a 13 month old on their own in a public place.

RitaMorgan · 14/09/2011 19:57

YANBU.

It would have been unsafe to leave a baby roaming or in a highchair. Unfair to distress the baby by leaving them strapped in a pushchair and then leaving the room.

My 13 month old would have been very upset in that situation, even if only left alone in a strange place for a couple of minutes.

mumto2andnomore · 14/09/2011 19:58

OP I cant believe you are getting such a hard time , I wouldnt leave my 13 month old alone in a pub either so wouldnt be happy with anyone else who did.

TheAlphaParent · 14/09/2011 19:58

"YANBU OP, I can't believe anyone thinks it is reasonable to leave a 13 month old on their own in a public place."

Thanks.

Would any of the YABU crowd care to explain how it's reasonable leaving a 13 month old on their own in a crowded pub?

OP posts:

RitaMorgan · 14/09/2011 19:59

It also really isn't PFB to not want your baby to be unecessarily distressed. It's normal.

gapants · 14/09/2011 20:00

Wetherspoons? I would be in tears too, I'm 396 months.

Bollocking your mum? Nasty.

HairyGrotter · 14/09/2011 20:01

Depends on the child I guess, DD at 13 months couldn't give a shiny shit where I was tbh, still doesn't at 3 .

ConstanceNoring · 14/09/2011 20:01

Oh no OP you're doing it all wrong. Don't take your Mum next time, leave your child at the table while you order, completely out of sight and on her own but for a bunch of strangers. If she gets taken by some opportunist she gets taken, - at least you'll look like a cool laid back Mum.

ffs sake, give the woman a break - she has already admitted PFB.

OP I would have felt exactly the same - I have become more laid back as the DC have become slightly older and form a pack to guard seats while I'm ordering, - quite handy now they are

happy2bhomely · 14/09/2011 20:02

I have 4 dc and there is nothing pfb about it in my opinion. I would not leave my child out of eyesight in a public place, even for a few minutes. I understand why you were upset/annoyed/angry. My mil left my dc in the car while she went in the shop. The kids were out of sight. I told her that she couldn't have them again unless she promised to never do it again. She still doesn't agree with me, but respects that it is my choice to make. I understand people do things differently, so I would just explain to her that you found it unacceptable and ask her to not do it again.

MHQuestion · 14/09/2011 20:02

yanbu - totally unacceptable to leave a 13 month old out of sight. Would not be happy if it was my mum that did it but my mum never would.

Not sure why you're getting such a bashing op

gapants · 14/09/2011 20:04

Oh and I should say, i would be annoyed with my mum too if she left her gandkid all alone. I would expect her to have lifted the baby with her.

Baby was not in your sight at all?

usualsuspect · 14/09/2011 20:04

I would be worried about a baby being distressed in a strange place ,and think its odd that other people would be ok with it

notherdaynotherdollar · 14/09/2011 20:07

OMG what an over reaction

if i was your mum i would have laughed in your face

HairyGrotter · 14/09/2011 20:08

The opening post doesn't express the layout of the place. What I get from that post is that the daughter was in a seating area, whilst the mother was at the bar (which in most Wetherspoons I've been in they are in the same room albeit a massive room), the grandmother then walks over to the bar to advise the mother a bigger table had become available.

The layout here is quite crucial to the story. Had it said 'the seating area is in another room/level from the bar' I'd have been more sympathetic to the poster originally

purplehonesty · 14/09/2011 20:08

YANBU I would have freaked out if my mum had left my DS on his own too. But I might not have had a go at her

HairyGrotter · 14/09/2011 20:09

In fact, I'm getting a bit teary just thinking that I really have nothing better to do than to sit here and discuss Wetherspoon pub layout. Excuse me one moment.

usualsuspect · 14/09/2011 20:11

see now I want whetherspoons scampi and chips

Zimm · 14/09/2011 20:13

Oh my word. This is typical Mumsnet 'look how relaxed I am, I am so over the PFB thing, I laugh in the face of first timers...' And yeah, that is the attitude on this site. And I love this site - but not that attitude.

OP - you are not being unreasonable at all. 13 months alone in pub? If in a highchair she could have badly injured herself. Those pub highchairs are not safe at the best time with those rubbish straps. If not in a highchair then she could easily have run out/ knocked into a table of hot drinks, anything really. Your mum should just have scooped her up and brought her with. If in a buggy then not so bad but even so - other posters are correct - weatherspoons attracts wierdos. Why risk it, it's just not worth it.

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usualsuspect · 14/09/2011 20:14

weirdos I'm perfectly normal

zukiecat · 14/09/2011 20:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Proudnscary · 14/09/2011 20:45

You're not being unreasonable and some posters are being unnecessarily (and a bit weirdly) unpleasant towards you.

I would have been a bit freaked at a baby being left in another room with strangers, however near and for however short amount of time.

I wouldn't have bollocked my mum but I would definitely have said something.

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