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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be shocked at grandmother leaving a 13 month old in a pub on her own

138 replies

TheAlphaParent · 14/09/2011 19:25

My mum and I took my 13 month old daughter to Wetherspoons for a meal (6pm). The bar is in a different room to the seating area. The pub was crowded. I went to the bar to order the food whilst mum sat with my daughter. Whilst I was at the bar mum came up to me and told me that she had found a bigger table. She had left my daughter on her own in a crowded pub to come and tell me that. I nearly had a heart attack and sent her back immediately. Needless to say I gave mum a good bollocking. Her response? "Sorry I'm not perfect".

AIBU to be shocked? How could a fellow mother be so negligent?

OP posts:
LillyTheMinx · 14/09/2011 21:32

I wouldn't leave my baby in a different room in a pub and neither would my mum - and she's had 4. How this can be considered PFB is beyond me.

Sookeh · 14/09/2011 21:34

You gave your mum "a good bollicking"
?

Isn't that a mite disrespectful?

Sookeh · 14/09/2011 21:35

But yeah, I probably would have panicked as well so on that score, yanbu.

GetAwayFromHerYouBitch · 14/09/2011 21:36

YAABU about "giving" your mum "a bollocking". How vile

Jackstini · 14/09/2011 21:40

YANBU for being a bit worried - agree leaving her on a different floor where she couldn't see her is different to just 'round the corner'
However, YABU for giving your mum a bollocking. She probably just didn't think and all that was needed was a gentle reminder.
And their chilli is nice, although the spag bol is crap

Shutupanddrive · 14/09/2011 21:43

YANBU

choceyes · 14/09/2011 21:48

YANBU

I'd have been livid too if my DD who is also 13 months was left alone in that situation. Not because I'd worry she would get abducted or something, but because it would be very distressing for her. Surely you just don't leave a child that young out of sight?! I can't understand some people saying that YABU. How difficult would it have been for your mum to take your DD with her? I'd have been aghast if my mum had done this.

Original poster
TheAlphaParent · 14/09/2011 21:53

Hairy you said "The opening post doesn't express the layout of the place." Can I point out that my OP said:

"The bar is in a different room to the seating area."

OP posts:
Kayano · 14/09/2011 21:56

It's also 'I gave my mum a bollocking'

But when queried 'I only told her it was inappropriate to leave a child alone in a pub ever'

Those two things do not match, I think most are saying YWBU in regards to the bollocking but then that changed in later posts iyswim?

ChippingIn · 14/09/2011 21:56

Do you not all wonder why you have children who get distressed when left alone for a minute? Really - talk about a huge over reaction.

sparkle12mar08 · 14/09/2011 21:58

I so wanted to be able to say YABU but actually, given that you were completely out of sight and up some steps, and your daughter is only 13 months old, then I'm coming down on the side of YANBU. I will leave either of my ds's in certain places in certain circumstances, but this wouldn't be one of them.

Original poster
TheAlphaParent · 14/09/2011 22:01

"Those two things do not match"

They are the same to me Confused

Bollocking = disapproving.

OP posts:
maras2 · 14/09/2011 22:02

I dont think tha you are BU. I think that you are nuts.

Original poster
TheAlphaParent · 14/09/2011 22:07

maras - do explain.

OP posts:
GetAwayFromHerYouBitch · 14/09/2011 22:09

Was your DD in a high chair?

Original poster
TheAlphaParent · 14/09/2011 22:15

She was in her buggy.

OP posts:
GetAwayFromHerYouBitch · 14/09/2011 22:16

Then she was safe for a couple of minutes.

I have 2 children, and at some point, one of them will be upset from being left alone for a couple of minutes. I think you over-reacted.

maras2 · 14/09/2011 22:42

Sorry.Flippin I Phone.Will join later on my own laptop.

Proudnscary · 14/09/2011 22:47

Alpha - honestly your reaction was hardly abnormal or hysterical and for some reason some posters are being vicious - I'd just back out of this now!

storminabuttercup · 14/09/2011 23:08

I'm also going to say yanbu, I would also use the term 'gave mum a bolocking' when what I would actually say is 'mum please don't leave ds in a pub alone for fucks sake' it's just a figure of speech innit? Confused

Anyway OP once again YANBU!

CocoPopsAddict · 14/09/2011 23:10

I don't understand why she would leave your daughter there. She could have carried her and left the pushchair.

YANBU.

Feminine · 14/09/2011 23:15

bolocking yuck, nasty word.

YANBU though :)

Its easy to panic sometimes... and react accordingly.

ButtonHead · 14/09/2011 23:26

Going to Wetherspoons is unreasonable, your mother leaving her grandchild unattended is VERY unreasonable. You telling her off is NOT unreasonable. I think people arguing about using the words 'i gave mum a good bollocking' should get over the semantics.

virgiltracey · 14/09/2011 23:28

YA definitely NBU - no way! She left a 13 month old alone in the next room of the pub. My mother would also have been given a bollocking whether it was PFB or any subsequent (more neglected) child!.

CarnivalBizarre · 14/09/2011 23:28

I would never leave my child or anyone elses for that matter in our local wetherspoons - actually I would never go into our local wetherspoons beause it smells of farts and is frequented by folk who feel the need for a pint of lager with their full english at 9am and stay there all day long - til kicking out time

I don't care how nice their curry night are - I will decline

Thats not me being a snob btw - I take my DC to eat out at pubs - just not wetherspoons

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