To be shocked at grandmother leaving a 13 month old in a pub on her own

[TheAlphaParent]

My mum and I took my 13 month old daughter to Wetherspoons for a meal (6pm). The bar is in a different room to the seating area. The pub was crowded. I went to the bar to order the food whilst mum sat with my daughter. Whilst I was at the bar mum came up to me and told me that she had found a bigger table. She had left my daughter on her own in a crowded pub to come and tell me that. I nearly had a heart attack and sent her back immediately. Needless to say I gave mum a good bollocking. Her response? "Sorry I'm not perfect".

AIBU to be shocked? How could a fellow mother be so negligent?

[troisgarcons]

O/T - Im feeling sorry for the Op @ the mo - she was hoping for some sympathy sniggers inanely



Op - no one is gonna nick a crying baby.

[allnightlong]

YANBU about being upset about it come on who on earth would really leave a 13 month old alone in a crowded public place?!

But YABU about the alarmist mention of pub in the title you were the one who chose to take her into the pub!

[TheAlphaParent]

Hairy have you tried their chocolate fudge cake? (Served warm with icecream)

[ruletheworld]

Depends if your daughter was strapped in somewhere or loose and mobile I guess.

Not the brightest to leave her toddling near stairs.

[HairyGrotter]

Sadly, I'm on a healthy eating plan and don't want to pile back the 4st I've just lost. Woe to the cake :(

[TheAlphaParent]

"you were the one who chose to take her into the pub!"

Yes but not to be left alone. I thought that was basic bog-standard common sense?

Clearly not according to this thread

[rollerbaby]

God, no you are not being unreasonable. I would go apeshit if anyone looking after my son left them alone in a busy public place. Clearly your mum wasn't thinking and it would be pretty unlikely for anything to happen, but you never know. Why risk it?

[Kayano]

The info about the baby being distressed and crying....
that should have went in the OP

Therefore I am classing it as drip feeding and am off!

[EdnaKrabappel]

I get where you're coming from but YABU to have bollocked your mum. I regularly left (and continue to leave) ds "guarding" a table in cafes from a fairly young age while I queue up - but I would try to ensure that I could see him distantly or that I wouldn't be unable to see him for long. Also I wouldn't be happy leaving him if I wasn't between him and the exit IYSWIM.

[Iggly]

Sorry but everyone saying YABU?!!

OP YANBU. you don't leave a baby alone like that. Was she in a highchair? If so even worse. DS would be trying to climb out or kick back.

[TinyPawz]

I'm going to go against the grain here, but YANBU. I would have gave my own mother a bollocking for doing that.

[Iggly]

Also so what if the OP didn't mention everything in her first post?! Have I missed something?

[NormanTebbit]

Maybe it was the decaying pensioner under the table that upset her.


I used to spend work lunchtimes in wetherspoons: tequila/vodka/redbulls on a Friday. Sigh.

[MavisGrind]

Surely 'crying baby' is the one of the most effective table-bagging methods in any crowded eatery?? A lot less easy to move than a coat over the chair?

[TheAlphaParent]

Edna when I'm in a cafe/pub on my own with my baby and there is no one to watch her I leave the buggy guarding the table and take my daughter with me to order the food. Yeah the buggy could be nicked but what can you do?

[usualsuspect]

I love my local wetherspoons [common]

I wouldn't leave a 13 month old where I couldn't see her tbh

[Sillyoldelf]

Yabu You say you were most worried about your child being upset but Your child being momentarily distressed isn't a bad thing - babies and tots need to learn to self sooth and get used to mummy being out of lines eye .

[NormanTebbit]

My kids can clear a cafe in 10 minutes

[Kayano]

Iggly...
On topics like AIBU, if op doesn't give all the info in the first post how can you make a judgement? Which is entirely te point of AIBU?

It's when they are told they AbU that more info always comes to light, I can't stand it therefor I don't. TaRa

[rollerbaby]

If she's walking she could have run out a door onto a road, pulled something hot onto her head... any number of things. And there ARE odd people out there. It is a wetherspoons after all....

[Iteotwawki]

YANBU. I'd have been angry as an angry thing in that situation and I cannot believe anyone thinks you're being unreasonable or PFB. I'd be pissed off regardless of which if my children had been left alone out of my eyesight.

Probably wouldn't class saying "never leave Boy1 on his own in public ever again" as bollocking either. This was the generation who left babies outside shops in prams though, she may honestly not have thought anything of it.

[RandomTempNameChange]

I can understand why you're upset, PFB and all, but I think if you actually did give your mum a bollocking, you owe her an apology. She didn't do anything that bad, a simple "mum, I'd prefer if you didn't leave DD at the table without one of us there" would've been enough. Throwing your weight around is uncalled for.

[cjbartlett]

I'm going to 'spoons tomorrow night
Curry night + free drink £4.99
What's not to like?

[TheAlphaParent]

I love wetherspoons full stop Mostly because of their chocolate fudge cake. But their five been chilly is tasty too.

[Iggly]

"Your child being momentarily distressed isn't a bad thing - babies and tots need to learn to self sooth and get used to mummy being out of lines eye"

So let's all leave our children in a stinky pub then?

I remember getting off the bus once, aged about 3, and my mum getting stuck among crowds so couldn't get off until the next stop. I was terrified although she came back for me while some nice old ladies looked after me. The fact I still remember it 27 years later probably highlights either a) I have issues or b) parenting by abandonment isnt the way to go..