to ask how many mums out there can actually afford to go to work?

[tinky19]

Ok, so I'll start by saying I'll win all prizes for ignorance with this but please bear with me.
DS is 16mo and DC2 is due in Dec. Now, up until my maternity leave starts we have been very fortunate to have GPs looking after DS so I have worked 3 days a week.
DH has now got a new job so we are moving 250 mile away from all family and having looked into child care, I've realised we can't afford for me to work. It's not like I have a badly paid job (I'm a teacher) but at most after paying childcare I'd have £100 a month left from my pay.
Now I know some mums would choose to work anyway but unless I'm really makibng an extra contribution, I'd rather be at home with me children.
So how do people afford it? Are you all high powered, high earners? This is a genuine question and I'm not critising anybodies choice to be a working mum or SAHM.
Thanks

Oh kenobi that's terrible, poor you and your DH. This is why I want me and DH both to work as well. Financially we would be on equal take home pay if I worked FT and DH didn't work and was a SAHD but I would not want sole reposnsibility to bring in all the money. I have been made redundant twice in the past and in this day and age not many people are completely safe.

I hope he finds something soon, and hopefully he and DD will have a great time together in the meantime....even if at first it is unwillingly!

It's interesting that when I am pregnant and on maternity leave (about to go back to work in a couple of months) so many people ask me if I am going back to work, no-one would think to ask DH the same question! But the sexism works both ways as it has been much harder for him to get PT/flexible working than me.

Thank you Mendipgirl. I'm absolutely gutted. I know we'll survive but we had these plans and I can just see we're going to eat through our savings again and watch them recede into the distance once more.

Kenobi, poor you but thank Christ you are working. Hope your DH finds something soon. My SIL's sister's husband (does that make any sense?) has been made redundant three times in the last five years (he's in IT, it's like that). Fortunately she has kept her career going (she's a deputy head) so they have managed.

Another teacher here (admittedly with only one DC)

You need to investigate your childcare options carefully. DD attends a nursery attached to a private school, because of this they offer term time only provision (both state and private) and the savings are huge. We cover all of DD's fees with childcare vouchers (without using the full amount).

I am on M6, 0.6 contract and take home only £200 less than my Pre DD pay each month due to payscale movement and childcare vouchers so yes it can be done, even with 2 lots of fees.

Norfolk I don't get how you are paying all the fees with childcare vouchers, unless I am misunderstanding what you mean by the vouchers.

Using CCV saves about £70 a month.

If you're taking home £200 less, does this mean you pay only £270 a month for child care?

Hmmm, I think I've done this wrong!

Our childcare is term time only but split over 12 months. DH claims £243 a month in vouchers, I claim £175. This covers DDs fees totally for the year.

I only earn £200 less because I was on M4 when I left for maternity leave and returned on M6 part time. The payscale increase meant that my new PT pay is the same as my old FT pay (TLR included)

Our situation is similar to some others here. For years DW has been the main earner and I have worked locally in order to have the flexibility needed if DC is ill or has holiday, etc. Childcare cost us £600 per month, including holidays as we couldn't always get time off.

Now DW is at home, in order to spend more time with the dc and we are suffering as a result of the loss of her income. We don't pay childcare anymore but it doesn't cover everything by any means.

Being a parent, with the current cost of living, is bloody hard.

Norfolk Thanks. That was quite some pay rise! If you weren't claiming your vouchers, you would be taking home nearly the same as what you were earning before mat. leave.

I'm not a teacher so don't know what M4 M6 and TLR mean.

I have to go to work because I earn nearly twice as much as my DH. In my case the question is can we afford for DH to work and on balance the answer is we have to because a) the implications for his career of just disappearing out of the job market for several years are that he'd probably basically never get back in and b) especially because the industry he works in isn't the kind of touchy feely industry where people would commend him for looking after kids. If he was a web designer or an organic gardener or something then I think he should give up work.

M = mainscale. Teachers go from M1 up to M6 each year they achieve their performance management targets. M1 when I started was £18k, M6 now is £32k.

TLR = teaching & learning responsibility. I am a head of department so get extra for that.

I'm in pretty much the same position as Jeckadeck, except I don't quite earn twice as much as my DH.

If my DH didn't work, we'd struggle financially and have to really scrape by each month. Then Christmas, birthdays etc all come along and suddenly it feels like it's going to implode. So we both work.To afford childcare (approx £650 per month), my DH and I have different days off, so we only pay for 3 days' childcare. It's hard, we never see one another, I have both kids on my own every weekend (DH only has our toddler as other one at school) and I genuinely take my hat off to LPs because I really struggle just on those two days!

It's hard, and it's expensive, but we have to live! If one of my friend's was in your situation, OP, I'd say the stress and the guilt and the hassle isn't worth £100 per month, but I appreciate there are future career implications, pensions etc to consider.

Good luck with the move.

I'm not at work because we can't afford for me to be, sort of. We looked at the money coming in through all the possible options for work and childcare - DP part time and me full time, him full time and me part time, both part time, him full time and me at home and vice versa. Him full time and me not earning worked out as bringing us the most money at the end of the month. He earns more than me, mainly because he's been working for ten years longer. But we decided I would go back part time because of career prospects, pension and the fact that I enjoyed my job. As it was, my employers turned down my part time request, so I'm at home. We're finding it hard on the money we have now, so it's no bad thing.

I've realised it's going to be hard to find a job in my sector - part time or full time - that pays enough. Unfortunately, we live in an expensive area of the country and work in a not-that-high paying sector.

DP is paying more into his pension pot while I'm not earning, and I'm hoping to do a bit of voluntary or freelance work in the evenings, if I can, to keep my hand in.

I think its all a game we play and we make decisions accordingly. Those that need to work make different decisions to those that stay at home.

I work, need to work and so decided to have my two children three years apart. This means that when I went back to work after having DD2, DD1 was getting her nursery childcare fees paid, so that accounted for 12 hours of childcare. Only having to pay for one child at a time makes it affordable.

Also, those of us that work when they're young I think tend to it for the long term gains. I'm a teacher too (FE) and by working, I am now able to work mornings, so that now my DDs are at school, I am able to pick them up every day. If I had been at home, I would not have been able to have the hours I have now and I would now be paying childcare.

Also, over the years I have been working, my wage has been rising and I would not be on the same scale as I am now if I had taken the time out. (I would be earning 8k a year less if I went to my place of work now).

And of course, there's pensions...

Yes I could have said once the childcare had been paid, I wasn't left with much - but that would have been very short sighted of me. Instead I looked at the long term gain, and I find having a term time, school hours only job that pays well and is a rewarding career in its own right is more than worth the salary sacrifice I made in the early years.

I do think with teaching you always have the option of returning to work so the argument about keeping a job longer term becomes a bit moot.

If you don't want to work for £100 a week then don't. Please don't say you "can't afford" to work as that makes a mockery of those women in lower paid jobs who truly can't afford to work even if they wanted to. But equally dont feel you have to justify a preference to stay home with the kiddies - altho I'm a working mum I think actually it's better for them to have one SAHP.

Good luck with your move.

"I do think with teaching you always have the option of returning to work so the argument about keeping a job longer term becomes a bit moot."

Yes, but getting a good part time job can be rarer than hen's teeth - particularly in primary teaching.

I work 8-12, dh works 2-10. We get 45mins together at dinnertime. DD is 4, we have never paid for childcare. You need to work these things out and sometimes its not the best solution but it works for us.

I didn't/don't get a choice. My exH dumped me and walked out on me and our two very young children at a moment's notice.

I had to work.

But I had to give up dreams.

Precisely because of childcare costs and availability - and wanky employers.

I feel really lucky and privledged to work in a job I enjoy and to only work 3 days a week. So I have 4 days with DS. Great balance for me and family. I am the major wage earner. I was also quite shocked at cost of childcare but then realised that it is £35.50 inc meals 7.30-6 thats less than £3.50 an hr my son is more than worth that. Am in a job where would have really struggled to have kept upto date if I had taken 4 yrs out.

kenobi so sorry for your news. a stressul time for you all. How is DH doing it is soul destroying to be made redundant

tbh, i think you would struggle to get a teaching job after taking 4 year career break.

i would think of the long term.

i get very cheap childcare, as my mil looks after the children and i pay her expenses like petrol....after i made her take it

Op
Okay so people can be very sensitive around this issue.costs in the uk are stupidly high.in the states it is about 350quid a month for our local nursery but still I choose not to work. I make this choice as I love being a sank and we can afford it.
The truth is lots of mums don,t enjoy being a sank so work is desirable even if it brings no extra money and some do it for the long term benefit which is worth consider g,especially if you are so so about being home and it does not feel like a loss to go to work.
Take the time off and find a part to e teaching job when the kids starts school maybe.

If you are a good teacher, you will not struggle anymore than any other teacher to find work.

chery thats nothing to do with it.

a school is more likely to take on a teacher who knows the current guidelines and teaching methods to one who is 4 years out of the loop

The high divorce rate means that almost half of marriages fail. It was always at the back of my mind that if I had a job I could support the DDs.

I am a secondary teacher and kept working FT through the (looking back very short) pre-school phase and beyond and I am very glad I did. OK I didn't earn much for a few years but I kept a good job which helped me get another good job. I kept paying NI and pension, I was a good role model to my girls and to the girls at school- ie you can keep working when you have a family if you want to.

I love my job so of course it made it easier to keep going when the going was tough. And it was tough with two under fives and an HOD role.

I liked having something else to think about in the evening and to discuss with DH, rather than just discussing toddlers. I like my subject and find it mentally stimulating and of course there is never a dull moment in big schools. Lots to think about.

So it was the right decision for me/us though it would not suit everyone.

auntie- I disagree" nothing to do with it"- come on?Is that why schools are in the state they are in? IE You just need to know the jargon- what a load of nonsense.Maybe some weakly managed schools operate this way.

Good teachers are worth their weight.

i used to interview teachers and believe me that was the last thing we were concerned with.We just wanted good teachers-it was an academic school so maybe your experience is different.

Teaching methods do not change that much in 4 years but weak teachers sadly often stay weak however long their teaching track record.Give me a teacher who has had 4 years out but is a good teacher any day.

I agree people should not take it for granted they can walk into a job after a few years out, in this market, but the jobs always come up for the really good staff.