to ask how many mums out there can actually afford to go to work?

[tinky19]

Ok, so I'll start by saying I'll win all prizes for ignorance with this but please bear with me.
DS is 16mo and DC2 is due in Dec. Now, up until my maternity leave starts we have been very fortunate to have GPs looking after DS so I have worked 3 days a week.
DH has now got a new job so we are moving 250 mile away from all family and having looked into child care, I've realised we can't afford for me to work. It's not like I have a badly paid job (I'm a teacher) but at most after paying childcare I'd have £100 a month left from my pay.
Now I know some mums would choose to work anyway but unless I'm really makibng an extra contribution, I'd rather be at home with me children.
So how do people afford it? Are you all high powered, high earners? This is a genuine question and I'm not critising anybodies choice to be a working mum or SAHM.
Thanks

I will always find a way to work (unless health issues for me or my family prevent me from doing it - thankfully i never had to face this). Night shifts, weekend work, work from home, tutoring outside work hours, translations in spare time. I have done all of these because being a SAHM drove me to despair.

But I still think that this is besides the point. I still do not understand why you need to use a financial reason to become a SAHM when there are much better reasons you could use (after all, I suppose I do not need to work for financial reasons... I work primarily because it makes me a more balanced person and better mother). What are you trying to say?

WIll pick up again though

thanks notlettingthefearshow,
I think working 1-2 days a week for £100 a month may be something that would tempt me to keep job prospects open but I certainly would not work 5 days for the same net gain IYSWIM.
I am not desperate to be a sahm (and by next sept after mat leave with 2 under 2 may be desperate to get back to work) but I don't think working my arse of for very little gain is very tempting.

I do not think working does automatically make a person a better mother or a more rounded person mierva even if it does so for you.

Again, and then I too am going to have to go, I am undecided about being a sahm. Sometimes I think it would be great other times I think I would get fed up, but I am saying that working for £100 a month is swaying things towards the not, or at least certainly not full time.

I have scanned this thread, so big apologies if this repeats what another poster has said.

I am a teacher; I teach full time. I have 2DCs and am contemplating a third. I am also the main earner and had no choice but to return to work FT after DS was born. Now I have more of a choice, but am happy with my current arrangements. I enjoy my job, and I chose it because it gives me 13 weeks a year in the home with my children. Plus I get home at 3pm most days as we finish early. I work on an evening when DCs are in bed.

I think it comes down to a few things. Are you a mainscale teacher who wants to stay on mainscale/UPS with no additional responsibility? If so, you should be able to get another job (subject permitting). However, you will probably get a temporary contract and you are more expensive and less in touch than NQTs who you might have to go up against. Supply is a possibility.

It is sometimes worth keeping your hand in if you intend to work again once your DCs are older. This would keep you employed, keep you up to date and keep your pension contributions being paid. You wouldn't earn a great deal, but there is always the choice of going full time which would significantly increase your income. If you didn't want to do that, then try to see the £100 as temporary and an investment in your future earnings.

By the time you are due to go back to work, your oldest will be nearly 3 and entitled to some nursery hours. Some childminders do a discount for a second child, and charge half fees or nothing through the holidays - much cheaper than many nurseries.

In an ideal world, I would have had lots of money available to me and would have stopped work until DS was 4, then picked up where I left off in my career.

We try to make the best of it. We are lucky that, as teachers, our income isn't too bad and we can afford choices.

What would you do if you still had free childcare? If you would work, then maybe you should try to do it still.

If you can afford not to work on DHs income, then enjoy your kids and worry about it later. If your income was a nice extra that you can manage without then it wouldn't be a problem if it takes a while to get back into teaching when you are ready.

Good luck.

Tinky, when did I say that working makes people better mothers? I said I, myself only, do it for that reason. Please do not put words in my mouth - it's not necessary.

You are very veyr lucky in that you have choices (and so am I, btw). All I am saying is that the way in which you use the "100 pounds" argument does not cut it. Other arguments probably will.

I should have added, I've been off sick with DD for eight months and am shocked at how much has changed in that time. Once out, you may need some time refreshing yourself - volunteer perhaps - in order to get back in. Should you want to!

OP I think you are being reasonable. I'd clear at least £1000 PCM over childcare if
I went back to work but I don't think it's worth it. I just love being with my daughter.

Factor in the free hours you will get for DC1 after a short while. Also as others have said consider the pension (this is "real" money in a sense, if you are on a final salary pension scheme it can be worth 20% or more of your basic salary). Also look at term time only childcare options (some CMs will do this altho you will lose the benefit of the free hours). And childcare tax vouchers.

Also factor in any pay increases etc you might get in the years inbetween.

It's a temporary position caused by you having two DC close together - one mum I know deliberately planned her family so that she went back to work after no 2 once no 1 was already at pre school.

I earn good money so it's never been an issue. I agree with the point about childcare costs being seen as the woman's account but your question was, how do working mums afford it and you admit yourself that you can afford it.

Reading your post what you are saying is that you don't really want to work, so if that's the case why do you need to justify it?

I've just returned to work this week after mat leave with DC2. I work 4 days/week, up 1/day per week while I only had DC1 (prev worked full time), to cover the extra daycare charges. Where we live we're fortunate to have govt subsidised daycare so we pay $7/day. It was previously $35/day. DC1 is in private preschool which is double the cost of normal daycare here, and I have to cover holidays and after school care also.

For me it's the playing the long game. I think, what if something happened to DH? Could I support my family? If I took 7yrs off with DC, I'd probably not work again. If I found myself a LP, or if DH out of work, I wouldn't be able to support my family. If I was only bringing in $100/mth for the next couple of years, I'd still do it. If not, that's 7yrs of experience, training, and payrises I'd miss out on. Then when they're at school, those costs are reduced to after school care only.

You do what's best for your family and situation, and your personal preference, but plan for your future as well.

It is a fact of life that most of us are faced with if you have 2 pre-schoolers. Whether you choose to carry on working under these circumstances is a personal decision. I wanted to keep my career going for many of the reasons others on here have stated. I am still not sure it was the right decision, they were hard years. However now both dcs are at school I can dictate my terms at work to a much greater extent and I earn enough for dh and I both to work pt and do drop offs and pick ups. If you think you can pick up where you left off in 5 years, it may not be worth it for you.

I don't have any childcare costs as my dh is at home when I'm working. If we were to have to put our dcs into the 'after-school' club here, it would cost us a little over £100 a week each.

Ok so have done my sums. I'm in a similar position to you in that I have a toddler and another on the way. I'm currently a SAHM.

If I was to return to work as a staff nurse full time, and pay for childcare for every hour I worked for two children our household income would be increased by £300 per month. However I would loose £150 in tax credits, so household income up by £150 per month.

Then I would have petrol and parking costs to come out of this.

Think I'll wait til DD goes to school to go back to work...

OP do whatever you want to do, but please recognise (as you have completely failed to do) that by not returning to work you risk losing more than £100 per month. Your only response has been that you would take home only £100 per month and therefore it is not worth it. There are many other benefits to maintaining your career as has been expanded on by many many posters on this thread.

I totally understand that you don't want to work for £100 but it is not true to say you can't afford to work.
Some would choose even to make a loss in the first years for the longterm gain.

You could easily subsidise your income with doing college tutoring in the evenings that pays good money.

Tinky have you thought about what you would do if your DH lost his job/was ill/left you - or you wanted to leave him - as others have pointed out? How easy will it be to get back into your career? What about your pension etc.

I loved being a SAHM at first; no financial worries however circumstances can change, women of my age (late 40s/50s) are virtually invisible in the job market; I have friends stuck in very poor relationships because they have allowed themselves to be financially dependent on their DH - if I had a daughter I would never encourage her to stay at home.

Does anyone know how the child care element of CTC works? Would that help the OP?

(I know sod all about it since DH is doing his PGCE and therefore isn't in paid employment, and his not working means we don't qualify for that bit of it. It's a bit annoying because obviously being a very full time student and spending half your time in school means you're available for childcare - NOT).

I went back to work 3 days a week when DD was a year old and it works really well for us. I get 3 days a week with her; she gets 3 days a week in nursery, doing stuff that we don't do at home which she loves and we spend one day a week as a family (back to that PGCE thing again of having to work on Sundays to keep on top of the lesson planning).

Our nursery fees are £32 a day (8-6 inc 3 meals) but having banked childcare vouchers when I was on mat leave, and still buying tax-free child care vouchers now, we end up paying £35 a month cash for child care. DC2 is due next week and I will return to work next September when DD1 will get her 15 free hours a week (there IS a benefit to kids born at the end of August; they may be youngest in year but at least they're cheap!). This will mean we end up paying just under £500 a month for childcare for 12 months; less assuming DH can find a primary teaching job because then obviously we'd meet half of this in vouchers.

We seem to pay less than many of our friends for childcare; the nursery suits DD, its in the village we think its fabulous and ofsted thinks its outstanding. Its worth shopping around for smaller and cheaper childcare as long as it meets your needs and you like it. Price itself is a bad reason to chose a provider.

Know how you feel. I had one dc and opted not to go back to work. I would have cleared £20 per day after paying for childcare. Now I have two dc at school and tbh I am not sure it any better. They are at school but after paying for breakfast and after school clubs I would barely break even. As for holidays.

If you're a maths teacher I doubt you'll have any problem getting a job again should you decide to take a sabbatical! I'm a science teacher and returned after a 5 year break without any problem and was quickly promoted back to and beyond where I was when I left. I know teaching is long hours, but the holidays are the USP once you have school age children.

I am a Secondary teacher and I wouldn't work for just £100 a month extra unless it was absloutly neccessary (I am the main wage erner in our family so not an opption).
The stress is way too high and the evening work load during term time can be enormous. Not worth it, my family deserves me more than £100 for non-essentials.

FabbyChic You could easily subsidise your income with doing college tutoring in the evenings that pays good money.

But if she is working full time and not seeing her kids in the day, working in the evenings will mean she doesn't get to put them to bed on those days either. plus don't teachers have lesson planning and marking to do out of school hours? How would she fit all that in?

I've only read your OP but:

• childcare shouldn't come out of just your salary! it's a joint expense!
• at some point childcare costs lessen (about 14 years :))
• it's a loss leader in a way, keeping your career on track
• you might like it
• some people do it because they like working / love their jobs / need adult company

To answer how do we afford it, because I earn enough for it to be completely worth it financially.

Uh oh, I've just skimmed up the thread and see it's become rather more complicated than that but there you go anyway, that's my 2p worth. I also think teaching = at least not having to worry about school holiday childcare once they're at school and that's worth ££££.

I gritted my teeth and worked for very little (like you would be doing) when the DDs were small, as a large chunk of our money went on childcare. Staying on the career ladder paid off, as I got accelerated promotion, and then picked up a job overseas. So am now earning about 3 times what I was earning pre children. Had I taken unpaid leave (if it had been an option) to be a SAHM, I would have gone back to work on the small salary I had left on, five + years later. I think you need to think of the long term benefits as well as the short term sacrifice.

I am a teacher too. I worked for no financial gain for several years when the kids were small, for 'the sake of the longer term advantages

Tbh you've had it easy with using your parents for free childcare up to now, and are just having to accept the reality of life for many working parents.

Just skim read the thread and my God do people get spikey about this subject! Fucking hell!

The OP started off by saying she had been ignorant about the cost and yet people STILL attacked her about it.

And what's all this about it being only the OPs wages paying the childcare (ffs), she quite obviously meant that with the childcare paid for she would be bringing home an extra 100. She never said that she was solely responsible for childcare costs as a woman. ( "you see how conditioned you are?" ) . . . Fuck sake that is so obvious!