to ask how many mums out there can actually afford to go to work?

[tinky19]

Ok, so I'll start by saying I'll win all prizes for ignorance with this but please bear with me.
DS is 16mo and DC2 is due in Dec. Now, up until my maternity leave starts we have been very fortunate to have GPs looking after DS so I have worked 3 days a week.
DH has now got a new job so we are moving 250 mile away from all family and having looked into child care, I've realised we can't afford for me to work. It's not like I have a badly paid job (I'm a teacher) but at most after paying childcare I'd have £100 a month left from my pay.
Now I know some mums would choose to work anyway but unless I'm really makibng an extra contribution, I'd rather be at home with me children.
So how do people afford it? Are you all high powered, high earners? This is a genuine question and I'm not critising anybodies choice to be a working mum or SAHM.
Thanks

alpine, are you now saying it is wrong to accept child care help from family?

Many people are posting because experience has taught them that it's a decision that has to be based on the long term. That is something I didn't realise when I had DS. I thought it was a simple sum: salary - childcare = is it worth doing? But it's not.

I had to go back to work anyway for shorter term financial reasons, but I now know that after my maternity leave with DC2 next year I must go back because of the longterm cost to myself and my family otherwise.

And it's not about having a fat bank balance. We're not materialistic, we don't have multiple holidays and a fancy house. We just want a secure future for our family, which would be much harder to achieve if I lost the only sensibly paid job I'm ever likely to have.

OP...Have to say I am with you on this.I do not feel £100 a month and being away from children is worth it.I think you could set a great example[as that is what some people seem to be on about] by being with your children until you feel the time is right.Good luck with whatever you decide

You wouldn't be away from your children for £100 per month though would you? Unless teaching pays a lot worse than I thought. You would be away from them for your salary some of which you would spend on childcare which you didn't have to do before you had children. That's a more accurate way of looking at it.

I could repeat what cactus said but I won't, so what cactus said.

Thanks Doobydoo!

Georgimama -teaching obviously doesn't pay what you think it does.

Doesn't it? 25K, 30k, 35k - something like that?

Anyway, the point is if you want to be a sahm be one. But don't feel you have to justify it by saying you can't afford to work because that isn't true. The reasins why other mothers work despite the high cost of childcare and the short term lack of net benefit to family finances has been explained at some length.

when older dds were little, no nursery vouchers scheme and no free 15 hours a week. i worked full time and literally took home about £100 per month after childcare. but i also studied and progressed up the career ladder.

with dd3, I earn £25 per hour and maximise my 15 hours per week nursery time, have a term time contract at nursery and pay older dds (16 and 14) to look after the littlest during the holidays.

so now, i earn £150 per day, work 2 days a week and pay about £10 per day childcare.

and OP, yanbu at all. I bit the bullet because I had a chance to haul myself up and earn a better salary. If i were already a teacher and planned to go back at some point, i would not work for £100 per month. it is not worth it.

Gross yes, net no! I currently earn little over £1000.
I'm not trying to justify myself to anyone, I'm just saying it has altered my way of looking at things. Nor am I asking anyone else to justify what they have decided is right for their family.

I can afford to work.

I am the main breadwinner in a profession I have done since I was 21 (am now 40).
I had a child at 28 and another at 38.

We get help in the form of CB, nursery vouchers and child tax credit.

I work 4 days a week.

Wow aquafunf, well done you!
Thank you.

Why do people keep on saying it's only 100 pounds a month? It's not. You have not taken into account the cost of: 1)losing pension contributions and NI contributions; 2)going back to a lower grade/less flexible/different job later in life. These are tangible losses to be calculated in order to really understand REAL gains/losses.

If the OP wants to be a SAHM for her own reasons, great. But the financial "excuse" does not cut it...

Quenelle I was wondering what percentage of posters here on this thread have older children, so have left the early years stage behind us and are better able to think long term.

OP, I'm not suggesting you go back to work ASAP, but I do think you need to think longer term and at least start looking for posts in May so you can keep your options open and maximise your chances of finding the right job in the right school.

I am not a teacher myself, but I do know lots of them. Some of them have a very long commute because so few posts come up where we live - this would have a seriously negative impact on your quality of life. I appreciate that teaching and parenthood aren't the ideal combination that many people believe it to be - but it's an awful lot easier if you can work near where you live and near to where your own DCs eventually go to school.

Have you take child care vouchers into account?

If the OP wants to be a SAHM for her own reasons, great. But the financial "excuse" does not cut it...

Exactly, minerva.

Eh? I earn a little less than 20k pa and take home about £1300? How do you take home so little?

MyMaisyMouse - just to respond to your post from the last page. I'm not saying that SAHMs can't teach their children a work ethic. Not at all. I merely said (and it was a throwaway comment tbh, not the main point of my original post) that the way I teach mine about a work ethic is to go out to work. We're all (I assume) thoughtful parents who think hard about what kind of values and behaviours we want to instil in our children and reflect on how we're modelling those things for our children in the way we live our own lives. I go out to work (but it's just one of the reasons why I do). You instil values into your children (including a work ethic) through the way you approach the things you do every day.

Just to reiterate - I don't think SAHMs set a bad example to their children or can't instil a work ethic in them. But - to emphasise the point of my original post - there are risks with choosing to be out of the workforce and when faced with the dilemmas presented by the costs of childcare, you need to think of the long term.

Which other posters have managed to say much more eloquently than I have.....

Apologies again for any offence.

As I have already said, i work 3 days a week and even if i worked full time childcare would cancel out extra earnings.
I would like to know at what point you would take finances into consideration minerva. If you were loosing money? gaining £0, -£100, -£200? surely it has to come into it at some point?! That is the main reason why the majority of people go to work after all.

The first year I went back to work, I broke even so had nothing left, the following year I paid out more than my hourly rate on childcare and the 3rd year was the year I finally started making money. I have 2 children, work term time and pay for 2 hours per child per day. I work around 7 hours so have about 80% of my pay left.

Exactly Jenai I think it is something that many women learn through bitter experience. I also know a man who is now finding himself in the same position.

But you're still only looking at it in the short term tinky. Somebody might be losing £100 a month but still think it's worthwhile to keep their job/career for when the childcare expenses have gone.

Obviously there comes a point where you can't afford to hang onto a job hoping for better times. That point is different for everyone depending on savings etc.

Life throws curveballs. If you can keep working 3 days a week, even if you are not making much money I'd do it. There won't be pensions when we are old (unless you are destitute) so keeping up pension contributions is really important. Also, what would you do if your husband left you? I thought that would never happen to me - but it did. Thankfully I had kept up working part-time after the children were born, so it was easy to move into a full-time role.
If you don't want to by all means don't, but just think about some of the comments from mums on here who can give you a longer term perspective.

Hi Tinky. I think this is a really interesting question and quite difficult really. I'm sure it must affect a lot of middle-income families when they have a second child. I am pg with my first child, I am a teacher (university) and will probably be in the same position as you if we're lucky enough to have a second DC. I am already wondering what to do!

Everyone is different, but for me it would depend on how much I enjoyed work. If you find your job fulfilling and you would miss it, keep it, because this is what will make you happier. I think your happiness will have an impact on the rest of the family - your children will pick up on it. If you are happy to stay at home, that is the best option. I imagine that as a teacher, you would be able to find another job relatively easily (sorry if that's naive - and I guess it depends where you're living). That would be a factor for me as well, because university teaching jobs are hard to come by and I worked in crap conditions for years to finally get my current job at the age of 30. For that reason I'd be loathe to give it up, even if I only worked 1-2 days a week.

If you are not sure either way, is there any way you can take a career break, or at least the full year mat leave to get a feel for what it's like to be a SAHM?

Also, don't worry about committing yourself forever, because you can always change your mind.

Good luck deciding - it is such a big decision, and very individual, so listen to others' advice with an open mind by all means, but ultimately go with your gut feeling. x

My childcare costs are 23% of my net wage. That is for 1 fulltime place and wraparound care. So yes I can afford to work. But when considering the gap between my 2 children childcare costs were a definite factor.