"I think maybe the people who have very high expectations of how a partner should be must get through a lot of partners and sometimes end up on their own."
Yes, probably. And there is nothing wrong with being on your own, it can be bloody brilliant actually. Once you've got through the first couple of years where you're adjusting, it's potentially plain sailing, depending on your priorities, ideas, etc.
Related was this remark: "but people do have to live with men with anger issues, depression issues, drink issues etc."
Um, no, no they don't actually. No one has to live with anyone. They can live on their own and enjoy their lives.
But for that to be achieved, women have to stop buying the myth that they absolutely have to be in a heteronormative monogamous relationship with a man, that without that, they are only half-members of society, that without that, they are lesser beings who need to be apologetic about being in the world. They need to know that living without an adult man in the house, is not only possible and practical, but also comfortable and enjoyable - just as comfortable and enjoyable as living with a nice man, but just different. Like Indian takeaways are delicious and thai food is delicious, but in different ways and neither is superior to the other, they're both valid choices. Abusive men are terrified that women might find that out, which is one of the reasons they hate the idea of feminism, incidentally.
And here's another comment that I noticed: "All I am trying to say is that I do not think that verbal abuse/controlling behaviour is as rare as some make out and I think that many, many people are puttign up with it because the alternatives are equally unpleasant when you have no support from family/friends and that having no support from family/friends is probably quite common for individuals in verbally abusive/controling relationships."
Apart from the alternatives being equally unpleasant (that's what abusers want you to believe, and that's what many women believe because they have a vested interest in continuing in their denial about their horrible relationships, but it's not true), I go along with that in that yes, I think abusive relationships are much more common than society is willing to admit. But that doesn't mean they're OK. Women do not have to put up with this shit, there are other alternatives and there is nothing as joyful and fulfilling as having self-respect and freedom. Abusive men are terrified by the thought that women on here are telling other women that, that's why there are so many trolls round here, desperate to disrupt our sharing of our experience, desperate that women like the OP continue to rationalise their situations unsupported by other women telling her that no, it doesn't have to be like that and the alternative isn't just as bad, it is unimaginably better. Imagine where those abusive men would be, if every woman in the country decided that she would only live with a man who treated her with respect and kindness. They'd never fuck again and deep down they know that, which is why they troll all over mumsnet trying to get us to STFU and stop talking to each other.