to consider taking my DD out of a perfectly good school to HE?

[FigsAndWine]

I am considering taking my 8 year old DD out of school and home educating. My reasons and reservations are detailed here

I've read a bit about HE and I'm feeling more and more that I want to do this. The two people whom I thought would be really negative about this (my best friend and my DM) have been very positive about it and think it would benefit DD. My DP thinks I'm a bit nuts (but then he does anyway... ) but will support my decision. My exDP (DD's dad) is also in a good postion to HE, as he is self employed and therefore flexible with his time, and is very involved with DD.

The school DD is at is a good one. It is over-subscribed, good with outstanding features according to ofsted. I just think that DD would thrive more out of a school environment. It will be a squeeze financially to afford extras (trips, classes, activities), but we could manage. I work part time and could fit HE around this.

The reason I'm posting in aibu is because I know all the reasons why I want to do this; I guess I want to hear some opposing opinions so I can feel whether they are enough to make me change my mind.

Fire away!

I think this is very unfair on primary schools who spend their whole time finding things that DCs are good at and encouraging them!

The advantage of secondary schools is that they are bigger and you have a bigger pool of friends-it can be difficult in a small primary school.

I think HE is much easier at primary stage. How I would have managed with my DS who has a chemistry degree when I haven't even an O'level in it I don't know.

Exotic, it was slightly tounge in cheek! My 3 were certainly encouraged at primary school but my experience of parents evening was the pointing out how average and normal my children were and often the areas where my children could do with 'trying harder'. My point was about how parents are communicated with not the children!

I can see what you're saying exotic but it is also possible that some truly bright/gifted children hide their talents in order to fit in better or because they are shy. In those instances the teacher may be telling parents that their child is 'average' when the parents and anyone else who is familiar with the child sees them reading, writing and chatting about subjects at a much higher level because they are in a more comfortable environment where they feel more at ease.

Sorry GnomeDePlume-read it in a dash before cooking-never a good thing to do!
I think that the teacher gets a very good idea of the DC bumbleymummy and they don't miss them out if they are shy, the shy ones are often the best. I have taught some very bright DCs-lots of them and I have also taught a lot where the parents thought they were very bright-not always the same thing.
Being a shy DC myself they are the ones that I watch for.
The problem with parents is that they have no idea, or very little, of what the rest of the class is capable of-they would often get a surprise if they knew.

What about the ones that hide their talents exotic? Children can be very good at hiding what they are capable of so they don't stand out in the crowd.

It's great if a teacher can manage to bring a shy child out of themselves but given how big classes are now I'd be surprised if none were ever overlooked. I'm not saying all this to be anti - school btw. I know there are plenty of children who get on just fine. I'm just pointing out that certain children may find it easier to 'shine' out of the classroom environment because they don't like drawing attention to themselves. I really just don't think every child will find school to be the best learning environment for them.

Just to say that I am still here and reading with great interest.

Bumbley I am now (thankfully) clear of Primary but as a governor I did sit in on a few classes. IME (admittedly limited) class sizes can be misleading. Certainly in the classes I observed there were other people who were part of the teaching team. The class would move and change as groups went in and out for addidtional help/other lessons. In such an environment I think that it would be quite difficult for lights to be hidden under bushels.

Exotic 'twas my badly written post at fault. You are right, as parents we see our children as special and so very different from all the others. Teachers see the children in the context of their peers.

I don't know what sort of school you are used to bubbleymummy, but the ones my DCs went to and the ones that I have taught at all celebrate achievement and effort. They have good work assemblies and gold books etc.

Of course some DCs are shy and like to be in the background, but they do like to be praised and it can be done sensitively. Some may not like to actually read out a good piece of writing, but I have never met one who wasn't happy for me to read it out for them or put it in a display.

I don't think it possible for anyone to get hidden-the only way I think they could get lost was if they had poor motor skills and were simply poor at getting it down on paper, but that sort of DC is generally good at talking or would have extra help wih a TA and there are computers.

As GnomeDePlume says classes vary in grouping and the number of helpers-my last job but one in teaching was one to one tuition in year 6. The one before that was the top 18 in year 5 for literacy and maths-and the level of work they did was quite amazing-fantastic DCs to work with and no chance of over looking anyone. It was a normal, large, state primary.

Another school that I went to had a morning a week where they muddled all the age groups for topic work-very good to have the 11 yr olds working with 7yr olds.
People do get very stuck in the mindset that a school has to have a class of 30 with one teacher and it is the survival of the fittest and not 'cool' to do well or with no room for the individual.

My first question doing supply teaching was 'who have I got in the classroom with me'. The more the better! Sometimes I had 2 TAs if there were statemented DCs-I once had 4 TAs and it was fantastic. Often there were parents helping or volunteers to hear readers.

For anyone who was interested in this thread, I just thought I'd update...
I decided back in September to leave DD in school, and we've been muddling along well enough, although all the reasons why I considered HE were still there and as valid as ever.

We had a bit of a bombshell last week when the school's ofsted report came out - the previous one rated it good with outstanding features, now it's been rated as broadly unsatisfactory (particularly in the teaching) and put under special measures.

For me that has tipped the balance; not that I think the school is dreadful (then or now), but that the main thing that stopped me before was that it seemed such a huge gamble to take her out of school and lose her place at an oversubscribed and very popular school (if it didn't work out and we wanted her to go back into school). Somehow I'm thinking that her space will still be there if we reassess in six months or so how HE is working for us, and decide to put her back into school, since I guess they won't be so oversubscribed now.

So, thanks again for all the viewpoints given at the time. We're going to give it a go.

So glad you were able to make a decision. I'm sure you'll find plenty of support and advice on the HE board here. Good luck! :)

Thanks bumbley. I'm sure I'll be frequenting the HE boards a lot over the coming months!