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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to think my school run is turning into a catwalk?

188 replies

Pedicuri · 13/09/2011 09:21

...and too many of the other mums have spent hours getting together their outfit? Apologies, a bit of a rant.....
My DC has started at the local prep (were aiming for local church/ state but didn't happen for us), and at first meetings the other mums seemed very friendly and were generally in smart jeans/ smart casual outfits. Now, I do admit to being fairly well groomed myself, as i don't feel awake if i am not up and dressed/ hair done etc...but this is in another league.
Gucci wellies? Glittery Boden cardies (more like evening wear)? skinny jeans and vertiginous platforms and heels? Elle Macpherson has nothing on these ladies.
In fact I would say that the mums going to work are not even as smart as those mums staying at home all day.
What gives? What is the point? Why do they put this pressure on themselves and others? I'm all for looking good, but this is just ridiculuous. Surely if they are hoping to display their 'wealth', wouldn't it be obvious that as they have children at this school, they are probably fairly minted anyway. None of them look particularly comfortable in their clothes either.
So far I have only seen one more relaxed sloaney outfit and a lady (probably richer than all of them) in moth-eaten and muddy 'walking the dogs' outfits.
Conversely all of the husbands I have met (military, pilots, lawyers) are all down to earth dress, mostly unshaven. What a contrast.
WTF - why are the women so 'try- to-hard'? Grrrrr.
Lots of money, no class?

OP posts:
ChristinedePizan · 13/09/2011 09:25

Because they have nothing better to do with their time?

Scheherezade · 13/09/2011 09:25

trophy wives, innit.

I'm afraid i will put my kids to shame and be turning up in either scruffy, stained stable clothes, or pyjamas.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 13/09/2011 09:26

YABU - maybe you dont like to make an effort in the mornings but the other ladies obviously do.

I get glammed up in the mornings as I am on my way to work.......I have heard these comments made about me. Most of the people who make them though look like they have been pulled through a hedge backwards.

I like to get glammed up and look nice for ME!! It has nothing to do with wealth or trying hard, I just have respect for myself and take pride in my appearance, nowt wrong with that!

NinkyNonker · 13/09/2011 09:27

I find it hard to get het up about this sort of thing, maybe they just like clothes and enjoy wearing them?

It wouldn't be the done thing to ridicule the chronically poorly dressed (like me!) so just live and let live.

cantspel · 13/09/2011 09:28

why does it matter to you what someone else wears?

Deflatedballoonbelly · 13/09/2011 09:28

Perhaps they felt like you did too but finally succumbed! Perhaps they got bored of feeling frumpy compared to other mums and BAM, there the competition starts...

Whatmeworry · 13/09/2011 09:30

No one can see my sweatpants in my Roller when I drop off the PDCs :o

Avoid School Gates, at all times. Therein lies the path to madness.

ChristinedePizan · 13/09/2011 09:34

I have always wondered why anyone gets up any earlier than they absolutely have to. Extensive grooming takes TIME and who cares what the other parents at the school gate think?

I appreciate this is an unpopular view on MN going by the number of breathless 'OMG I think I've found the perfect school run dress' threads but I'm mystified by that concept too.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 13/09/2011 09:35

Whatme - sterling advice thats for sure.

I try and avoid - I drop DS off and then run as fast as my Jimmy Choo's will allow Wink

BranchingOut · 13/09/2011 09:35

Just relax and enjoy the show! :)

Original poster
Pedicuri · 13/09/2011 09:36

For those that didn't pick up in my post - I also dress quite smart and am very well groomed. But I don't dig out my bestest besets clothes to drop my DC off.
No it doesn't overtly worry me or keep me awake at night - I just find it a bit odd. I am sure they go home and change into something more practical. So what is the point?

OP posts:
CalamityKate · 13/09/2011 09:37

Good God I mostly do the morning school run looking like a road accident. Why get up one second earlier than you have to?

PercyPigPie · 13/09/2011 09:40

Because they can. If they are anything like me, the less I have going on in my life, the more I concentrate on the petty stuff. Maybe they don't feel too good about themselves if they are feeling the need to make this statement daily.

Or, as another poster said, perhaps it makes them happy and they like clothes.

Why is it annoying you?

middlesex · 13/09/2011 09:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Pedicuri · 13/09/2011 09:42

Perhaps I was expecting moth-eaten cashmere and faded aristos - instead it seems to be a bit, well, gucci wellie euro-trash. Certainly when I was at uni, the sloaney types (I was probably one) did the big scarf and jeans look - not scruffy, but relaxed. Notabley all of the guys are still dressed like uni sloanes, and it is lovely.
Actually, I think a lot of the mums do look lovely - but dressed more for a dinner date than the school run.

OP posts:
Hullygully · 13/09/2011 09:43

Because money doesn't equal your idea of class

Sleepglorioussleep · 13/09/2011 09:44

If it bothers you that much change schools. I am not really saying change schools of course, just trying to see how much it does bother you. I do not feel like that about smarter mums. However I am in a smartening up phase. Mostly because smart clothes do more for my trashed post children body. I have no prob with the trashed ness either-just want to do the best with what I've got. I feel better when I do.

Pagwatch · 13/09/2011 09:44

Why does getting up and putting on nice clothes take more of an effort than putting on casual clothes. I have never understood this - when people complain about 'how do they have the time sorting out an outfit'
How long does it take .
I can go the the cupboard and pull out stuff that matches and shockingly it takes the same length of time as if I pull stuff out that doesn't.
Do some people have to spend hours going "ooooooh - the black skirt and the green top. Thank the lord I can put it on now. Before dark."

And I don't have best clothes. I just have clothes. If I spend a lot of money on something and love it I am buggered if I am only going to wear it once or twice.

Fatshionista · 13/09/2011 09:44

I get up the same time as the children and I still manage to apply a face of make-up, poof my hair and put on some nice clothes. Honestly, the entire process with practice can take fifteen minutes or less.

YABU. I like to look nice for me, not for competition. I wouldn't want one of the DD's teachers to see me looking like I rolled out of bed because that's not what I want my image to come across. I am not rich by any stretch of the imagination but I have a good capsule wardrobe and I like to look nice.

Some people don't like or feel the need to dress up and others do. It's not a big issue.

Pagwatch · 13/09/2011 09:46

Oooooh. You think they look common. You are a snob but dressing it up as being less status obsessed than them when the truth is the opposite.

(do you see what I did there with dressing it up)

withLainintheWired · 13/09/2011 09:46

They probably want to look more grown up than they did at university.

whispers (Maybe you need to rethink and update your wardrobe?)

Original poster
Pedicuri · 13/09/2011 09:48

Mudandmayhem, yes, I hear what you are saying. But perhaps I am not describing just how dressy it is. I like pretty clothes too, and think everyone can/should make a bit of effort. But what next - walking the dogs in evening dress?
It annoys me in the way wasps annoy me. Not earth- shattering, but irritating especially when most of them don't look very comfortable. It probably indicates quite a lot of competition going on, that I feel is unnecessary at the school gate.
Meanwhile, the mums who are doctors, lawyers, teachers and otherwise are in smart office clothes, and look underdressed!

OP posts:
actiongirl1978 · 13/09/2011 09:49

My daughter goes to a private primary and the mums are generally dressed like they will be for the rest of the day - jeans, trainers, jumpers, work clothes. The school is very rural and a lot of the mothers are farmers/married to farmers which ups the muddy welly quota!

Me? I put on what I wore when I had two preschoolies - and what makes me happy and feel smart. That can be skinnies and converse (yes, I know the MN uniform) or today, a French Connection dress, over leggings with ballet pumps and a cardi. None of it was expensive, the dress gets some wear and so isn't left on a hanger to go out of date I go out so rarely, and I am comfy for taking my 18mth old to the park shortly.

Yesterday I put my hair in a pony tail wet, today I blew dry and straightened. I am always up by 6am anyway as both children get up then!

My only sacrosanct is that I always wear makeup. I wore it for work, why would I stop now?

Just do what makes you happy.

slavetofilofax · 13/09/2011 09:50

IME, the ones with the most class and the most money don't feel the need to do this competive dressing thing.

Hullygully · 13/09/2011 09:51

Why is it any more competitive than the underdressing of the (approved) lawyers etc?

Maybe you don't know many people like this, but lots and lots and lots of people love putting on all that fancy gear and swishing about. It makes them feel good.

It's not for me, but I fail to see why you find it irritating.