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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

...to think my school run is turning into a catwalk?

188 replies

Pedicuri · 13/09/2011 09:21

...and too many of the other mums have spent hours getting together their outfit? Apologies, a bit of a rant.....
My DC has started at the local prep (were aiming for local church/ state but didn't happen for us), and at first meetings the other mums seemed very friendly and were generally in smart jeans/ smart casual outfits. Now, I do admit to being fairly well groomed myself, as i don't feel awake if i am not up and dressed/ hair done etc...but this is in another league.
Gucci wellies? Glittery Boden cardies (more like evening wear)? skinny jeans and vertiginous platforms and heels? Elle Macpherson has nothing on these ladies.
In fact I would say that the mums going to work are not even as smart as those mums staying at home all day.
What gives? What is the point? Why do they put this pressure on themselves and others? I'm all for looking good, but this is just ridiculuous. Surely if they are hoping to display their 'wealth', wouldn't it be obvious that as they have children at this school, they are probably fairly minted anyway. None of them look particularly comfortable in their clothes either.
So far I have only seen one more relaxed sloaney outfit and a lady (probably richer than all of them) in moth-eaten and muddy 'walking the dogs' outfits.
Conversely all of the husbands I have met (military, pilots, lawyers) are all down to earth dress, mostly unshaven. What a contrast.
WTF - why are the women so 'try- to-hard'? Grrrrr.
Lots of money, no class?

OP posts:
aquashiv · 13/09/2011 13:40

If people want to dress up like a dogs dinner let them. Humongous waste of time IMO

AbsDuWolef · 13/09/2011 15:36

"Glittery Boden cardies (more like evening wear)? skinny jeans and vertiginous platforms and heels?"

remove the Boden bit, and I think this sounds frankly AWESOME and if I could wear it to work, I would (my platform glitter soled heels are sadly not welcomed with open arms at work)

I know a woman who is always dressed head to toe in Chanel, gucci etc. She looks fabulous. I am very Envy

ILoatheMickeyMouseClubhouse · 13/09/2011 16:34

When DD1 was at primary school there were quite a few mums that really dressed up for the school run. I can think of one mum in particular that was always spray tanned to the max and wore a gold Versace puffa jacket. She was always dressed up like a dogs dinner.

Misspixietrix · 13/09/2011 17:47

Don't really have an opinion on this one to be honest, each to their own I suppose, Me personally? let's just say the school is lucky if I get dd to school in one piece never mind myself! :o x

diabolo · 13/09/2011 18:22

There's loads of these at DS's prep too. I do think that a certain type of Prep School mummy has nothing better to do than shop, gym, coffee and hang around with similar mums. I would hate to do that every day.

There was one who used to wear a Blackglama (sp?) mink coat all winter. Awful, just awful. And another who wears Marc Jacobs ALL THE TIME!

I work, so turn up in my work clothes every day (in a school office, so nothing fancy). But I especially like turning up in my jeans, really dirty wellies and illuminous green raincoat if I've had time for a dog walk beforehand!

Well you've got to give them something to talk about haven't you? Grin

RockStockAndTwoOpenBottles · 13/09/2011 18:23

I do understand exactly what you are saying OP. Although when my older three children went to primary (state, but in a very chichi head stuck up arse part of SW London, this wasn't really the case. However, friends with DC at the same primary now have noted that as each year has gone by, more and more competition appears to be there in the playground mornings and afternoons.

A totally different story at the International school my ex step daughter went to though. TBH 90% of the mothers there (and fathers for that matter) had silicon pumping through their veins and it was a Cavalli/D&G/Gucci/Chanel fucking catwalk every morning with a CHANGE of outfit for the afternoon pickup.

I was the one looked down upon because I a. didn't have plastic G cup tits, b. botox to the extent that I couldn't bend over, let alone move my fucking face and c. I didn't (and don't and never will) dress my baby in fucking Dior.

Apparently that made me an outcast so, yes, I will fucking judge people of that ilk having been judged for the past 7 years for not conforming to the plastic trophy designer gear all the way 'rules' of the vast majority of the English people down here.

mumblejumble · 13/09/2011 18:52

I want to swish! Do I need a glittery cardi?

RockStockAndTwoOpenBottles · 13/09/2011 18:58

Or evening wear, perhaps mumble Wink

Pedicuri · 13/09/2011 19:41

Ah yes, RockStock - I hadn't even brought up the 'afternoon change'. But then I imagine they have little to do during the day, for the most part.

OP posts:
CurrySpice · 13/09/2011 19:45

It seems OP that it's less about what they wear than the fact you consider them to be socially inferior to you because of what they wear Hmm

carlywurly · 13/09/2011 19:53

This all sounds like an utterly exhausting waste of time and energy.

I live in a rural area. Everyone is friendly and chatty. Nobody gives a flying toss about what anyone else wears for school run. Genuinely. It's refreshing.

NinkyNonker · 13/09/2011 20:07

You know what, fuck it, I hold my hands up. I am a judgy judger when it comes to appearance too, sometimes. OP, I find myself disagreeing with you on principle because I hate the "professional" mums and dads dressing more classily than the non assumption as it there is a value association, but you are right. At the schools I went to (prep then private secondary) it was very much the case too. My parents were of the dishevelled, windblown yachtie persuasion (still are to be fair) so they didn't really fit any category.

imogengladheart · 13/09/2011 20:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Misspixietrix · 13/09/2011 20:40

RockStockAndTwoOpenBottles funny you should say that about the change of outfit, I often turn up in a different outfit at hometime, mainly because the baby's normally barfed on me beforehand! :o xxxx

RockStockAndTwoOpenBottles · 13/09/2011 21:00

Misspixietrix that is understandable! What isn't understandable is that these plastic specimens wouldn't know one end of their under twos from the other as they're to be found in the salon/clinic/beach club comparing tits/botox/knob extensions/shade of orange.

They seriously DO NOT look after their children. The woman you saw on Marbella Belles (should any of you happened to have gawped at it) who barely knew her toddler's name is absolutely indicative of the women I have had the misfortune to be sneered at by.

Sleepglorioussleep · 13/09/2011 21:46

Op you are being very snotty about what people wear. It reflects poorly on you.

Pedicuri · 13/09/2011 22:20

...oh sleepglorioussleep, if not wanting to get dressed up like Victoria beckham on a particularly dressy fashion-forward day for school drop off/pick up as a SAHM does not float my boat, I doubt that reflects badly on me. Contrary to what you think, IMHO it is the chronically overdressed mums being snotty and wanting to outdo others.
I think it is a shame they put the pressure on themselves and other people. Rockstock, you seem to have experienced what I am experiencing now. Perhaps you have to experience it to understand it? I don't see how wanting people to be 'smart but normal' makes me a snob.
I have really enjoyed seeing all of the comments folks, what I find more interesting is that some people get where I'm coming from, and others don't. Hey ho.

OP posts:
RockStockAndTwoOpenBottles · 13/09/2011 22:30

Pedicuri - it sounds like it, and I really do understand where you are coming from. Seriously, I couldn't give a fuck what people wear to school but when they in their dubious looking garb look down their (paid for) noses at me because I'm not in head to toe Gucci or Cavalli then, yes, call me a snob because I sure as hell have no desire to dress like a fucking glamour girl on the school run. I consider running the brush through my hair a result.

Sleepglorioussleep · 14/09/2011 07:12

It's not what you think that reflects poorly, it's talking about those mothers behind their backs, albeit digitally.

Shodan · 14/09/2011 07:40

I rather admire those women who can dress themselves up on a regular basis, myself. Anyone who can a) do all that first thing in the morning and then b) manage to get through the whole day without spilling lunch down themselves/catching their floaty garments on door handles/ trailing the sleeves in water/sitting in something unmentionable/waste minutes muttering about uncomfy shoes has got my vote.

exoticfruits · 14/09/2011 08:34

I don't admire them at all-complete waste of time.

Pagwatch · 14/09/2011 09:14

I think we can all quite happily dismiss half the worlds choices if we chose.
Just because it is not what we chose does not make it meaningless or a waste of time. I personally regard golf or watching soaps as a waste of time but I don't have the arrogance to suggest that just because I don't do it.

In spite of thinking that the thread is all about people who understand the op and people who don't, some of us understand and shockingly still don't agree.

It is mostly about snobbery. I could go to school in a £400 or dressed head to foot in boden and tat is acceptable. What I wear would be approved because it meets the ops (and others) standard of what constitutes discreet wealth. It is not vulgar.
And most of us view aspirationally those things we regarded as wealth or 'class' however we see that.
For many wealth and being middle/upper class is about status and security. We have visions of what we could possess that would register to us that we are safe. For some it is a house,a career or a car or a steady job.
But the safety relies upon those thing being permanent. So we do/buy/own things thatvreassure us that we belong here amongst the comfortable and classy people.
That may mean gucci wellies or boden or a BMW. It is about recognising yourself within a social group and comforting yourself with thectrappings of that lifestyle.

Now if you have a career, or a loving family, or a hobby about which you are passionate, or a vocation you may not desire these things. But that simply means that your disinterest in an image is worn like a badge of honour. Why else all the scorn about those dressing up but to emphasize that you are anti-image?

These threads always contain such nonsense about 'oh I just sniff my armpits, squeeze a spot and get into crappy jeans with dog pooh on them'. If you don't care about image then other peoples choices would not bother you. The need to be savage is just defending your own image because that group , the too busy, too worthy, too superior to be bothered by tat have to emphasise that. I should add that that may well be true. You may actually be too busy or worthy to care. But recognising that those who do care are not vacuous simpletons but just have different worries and needs and concerns to you would be generous wouldn't it? Rather than just choosing to dismiss someone with loud taste as therefore shallow?

These women in Gucci jeans are either just really into fashion or are signalling their belonging. It is exactly the same as converse and leggings. Or lk bennett and some brora cashmere. And the really wealthy people who turn up in old wellies may not care. But they are so secure, so established that they have no need to signal their belonging. Like the Queen wearing scruffy hats and wellies when meeting Nancy regean who was dripping in jewels and channel. Poor old Nancy was trying to be Jackie Kennedy so as to join the unofficial American royalty. Her desperation arose from worrying that she was not classy enough and would be rejected. Queenie is the queen so of course she doesn't give a shit.

So whilst I couldn't do hooker heels and bling it is exactly the same as discreet Ralph Lauren and Hobbs and Boden. It is about feeling comfortable and safe. I suspect the harder you try in terms of ostentation may relate to how temporary you worry that this wealth and class acceptance may last.

The Euro trash mums are just people for whom bling is what you wear to belong. It isn't any more sinister or stupid than that. And check your own image and think about how much of what you wear is to do with identifying yourself within a social group. Even the 'too busy to care' group. They rarely just throw on a 2002 per una dress and some trainers from peacocks.

Pagwatch · 14/09/2011 09:22
Grin

And that enormous post is what happens when your sons bus collects him half an hour late.

Sorry [snore]

forehead · 14/09/2011 09:27

Great post Pagwatch.

TandB · 14/09/2011 09:36

[applauds Pagwatch]