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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to think my school run is turning into a catwalk?

188 replies

Pedicuri · 13/09/2011 09:21

...and too many of the other mums have spent hours getting together their outfit? Apologies, a bit of a rant.....
My DC has started at the local prep (were aiming for local church/ state but didn't happen for us), and at first meetings the other mums seemed very friendly and were generally in smart jeans/ smart casual outfits. Now, I do admit to being fairly well groomed myself, as i don't feel awake if i am not up and dressed/ hair done etc...but this is in another league.
Gucci wellies? Glittery Boden cardies (more like evening wear)? skinny jeans and vertiginous platforms and heels? Elle Macpherson has nothing on these ladies.
In fact I would say that the mums going to work are not even as smart as those mums staying at home all day.
What gives? What is the point? Why do they put this pressure on themselves and others? I'm all for looking good, but this is just ridiculuous. Surely if they are hoping to display their 'wealth', wouldn't it be obvious that as they have children at this school, they are probably fairly minted anyway. None of them look particularly comfortable in their clothes either.
So far I have only seen one more relaxed sloaney outfit and a lady (probably richer than all of them) in moth-eaten and muddy 'walking the dogs' outfits.
Conversely all of the husbands I have met (military, pilots, lawyers) are all down to earth dress, mostly unshaven. What a contrast.
WTF - why are the women so 'try- to-hard'? Grrrrr.
Lots of money, no class?

OP posts:
Hullygully · 13/09/2011 10:10
Original poster
Pedicuri · 13/09/2011 10:12

Adieu Hullygully (big grin)

OP posts:
TenMinutesLate · 13/09/2011 10:12

I get up earlier than my children so I cant get myself ready.....but I enjoy all the faff (not just for the school run, but the whole day); before children I was always in a suit, nails, makeup, huge "euro trash" designer bag etc etc and I found it very hard to make the switch into normal every day clothes....I do get looks some mornings but I really do not care, I havent got ready to make other parents look bad, I do it to make myself feel like me. Although there have been a couple of mornings where Ive overslept and had to run out in a tracksuit and a cap - I didnt care everyone saw me with no make up and that i was a complete sweaty mess.....hell I'm a Mum and shit happens....I just went in a taffeta ball gown the next day to make up for it ;-)

ILoatheMickeyMouseClubhouse · 13/09/2011 10:12

I agree slavetofilofax

Original poster
Pedicuri · 13/09/2011 10:13

Absolutely - I am a big fat snob.
That is why I will be wearing jeans and not a D&G dress to pick up.

OP posts:
pinkdelight · 13/09/2011 10:15

You sound very confident. Good for you. Have you always had nice stuff and enough money? Saying that you were sloaney at uni makes me suspect so. There is definitely an ease that goes with that. But not everyone has had that privilege and might well fear looking poor. But others might not fear it and might actively embrace a 'euro-trash' image. There are cultures with attire that have different values to the ones you're extolling and that's a good thing. Imagine how dull it would be if we all wore smart jeans of a morning.

And of course clothes are an indicator of a person and their wealth. You can choose your tribe to some extent, create your own identity. But even dressing down is an indicator, isn't it? Everything signifies.

Morloth · 13/09/2011 10:15

Just because you are demonstrating your lack of need to dress up, doesn't mean you are not a snob.

You sound very much like you want to make a comment about 'new money' hence your approving of dog walking lady etc.

ConstanceNoring · 13/09/2011 10:16

There is a small percentage at our school who dress up for school run's - I don't feel ranty about it, it would be dull if they all turned up dressed like me in jeans, sweater and flipflops with not a scrap of makeup.

Interestingly though there were some who really dressed up in reception year but don't so much now the DCs are in Y2.

There is one Mum who makes me Envy - jeans, parka, wellies, wooly hat, - hair hasn't seen a brush for days and she looks just gorgeous every day the cow Angry

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 13/09/2011 10:16

At least they're not wearing pyjamas Grin

Pagwatch · 13/09/2011 10:17

Pedi
I see what you mean but you are comfortable with yourself (notwithstanding this thread) and you feel comfortable with what you chose to wear.
You are not understanding that people have different views to you.
I don't have finest. I get up and put on the clothes I like and wear them all day. I loath jeans, don't own tracksuits or trousers and rarely wear flat shoes as I am short with short legs.

Why should I have to buy smart casual so that I fit in with your notion of what is appropriate? And why do you feel valid in telling other people how to feel comfortable in their own lives?

There is a woman locally who wears skirts so short you can ( as ds1 observed) totally see her badger. I feel sorry for her dc as the local mums don't seem to talk to her.

But as long as your chuff is not hanging out I tend to figure people dress for the life they lead and it is no one elses business.
It smacks of dissatisfaction with something to be bothered by flashiness tbh.

Catslikehats · 13/09/2011 10:17

I wear sky scraper heals on the school run.

Mostly because I love them, my legs look great in them, they are a lot easier to put on than trainers and unless you are doing it wrong the school run doesn't actually involve much running.

And what on earth makes you think that I am getting dressed up to sit at home? I am a SAHM, not a miserable hermit with a housework addiction.

Pagwatch · 13/09/2011 10:19

Constancesnoring
The mums who turn up having apparently fallen out of bed and still looking lovely do irk me. I am very jealous of that.

NeedaCostume · 13/09/2011 10:20

YABU - a bit judgey, anyway.

But your thread has entertained me as I ate my toast (after doing the school run in jeans and god forbid a sparkly jumper), so judge away. Tell us more about these evil high heel wearing women.

Bonsoir · 13/09/2011 10:21

Ogling the fur coats, handbags and Porsches at 9am brightens my day.

LemonDifficult · 13/09/2011 10:22

I would love the nursery run where I am to be a catwalk. Nobody bothers, including me. An element of sisterly competitiveness would definitely do me some good.

Anyway, YABU. You say you dress well - it's pissing you off that they dress up more. Why can't you just enjoy the fashion parade if you're into clothes?

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 13/09/2011 10:24

Maybe the other women aren't wearing their best clothes, OP? How would you know anyway and why does it concern you? You've said that you consider yourself 'well-groomed' and that everybody can/should make an effort.... so what is the issue? Do they look better than you? Can you not compete? From your post it sounds as if you'd like to, you can boast with the best of them...

Catslikehats · 13/09/2011 10:29

I don't see it as competitive dressing at all. Just looking nice for the sake of looking nice. Nowt wrong with that.

Which is just as well since one of the mums in DS1's class has a custom made Bikin, with a diamond encrusted lock. Which was flown from France on her private jet. Its a monstrosity but is is true. She also has a platinum and diamond encrusted vertu. I think the bag and contents are worth more tha my car. Possibly my house Grin

Goldenbear · 13/09/2011 10:29

YABU, the understated dress code is IMO very much a considered look - 'i will pretend to look like i don't care but really i am very aspirational and want to attain friendship with the the sloane ranger brigade!'

Hully, how do you know these women are the wives of builders? Trashy dress sense isn't wholly the domain of 'new money'. Quite alot of social stereotyping implied in those comments.

Hullygully · 13/09/2011 10:29

what is a vertu?

TandB · 13/09/2011 10:30

As someone who makes occasional, doomed-to-failure attempts to smarten myself up, I do sometimes have an internal giggle at someone very overdressed for an everyday situation.

But you do sound a bit snobby, OP. It doesn't sound like it is the overdressing that bothers you so much as the style of dressing which doesn't conform to your idea of how people with money and "class" normally dress. Really you are making judgements about what kind of people these mums are based on what they are wearing, and they are coming up wanting when set against the twin-set, Barbour and wellies brigade that you think are typical monied people.

Hullygully · 13/09/2011 10:30

Oh, and a Bikin? Read it as bikini which sounded a lot more exciting

pootlebug · 13/09/2011 10:30

I did the preschool run in the first things I grabbed out of the wardrobe. I cleaned my teeth and dragged a brush through my hair but no make up. That's how it works most days for me. Sometimes I don't manage the hair brush.

But I really couldn't give a stuff if someone else does it in head-to-toe Gucci (if indeed I could recognise head-to-toe Gucci Hmm) with a ton of make up and a perfect blow-dry. I'm happy doing it my way. I'm sure they're happy doing it their way. I just don't understand getting worked up about it.

daytoday · 13/09/2011 10:31

Does it matter what people wear. If you want to get dressed up then good on you - if you don't then good on you too!

I really am not bothered by what people wear. I am however, much more interested in attitudes and what people say.

ripstheirthroatoutliveupstairs · 13/09/2011 10:31

My DDs new school is very different to her last. I feel as though I fit in here, mainly the parents are wearing Asda or Tesco jeggings and rugby union tops.
Her last school was all Versace, Dior, YSL etc. I was the one who didn't fit in.
Also, at DDs school, I have seen very few wearing make up, most of the OMs have tattoos and piercings and some are very scary. I don't stand out because of my lack of lipstick Grin

Hullygully · 13/09/2011 10:31

Golden - I know because they all come in their vans and because I know them (and am friends with them, woo hoo).