...to think my school run is turning into a catwalk?

[Pedicuri]

...and too many of the other mums have spent hours getting together their outfit? Apologies, a bit of a rant.....
My DC has started at the local prep (were aiming for local church/ state but didn't happen for us), and at first meetings the other mums seemed very friendly and were generally in smart jeans/ smart casual outfits. Now, I do admit to being fairly well groomed myself, as i don't feel awake if i am not up and dressed/ hair done etc...but this is in another league.
Gucci wellies? Glittery Boden cardies (more like evening wear)? skinny jeans and vertiginous platforms and heels? Elle Macpherson has nothing on these ladies.
In fact I would say that the mums going to work are not even as smart as those mums staying at home all day.
What gives? What is the point? Why do they put this pressure on themselves and others? I'm all for looking good, but this is just ridiculuous. Surely if they are hoping to display their 'wealth', wouldn't it be obvious that as they have children at this school, they are probably fairly minted anyway. None of them look particularly comfortable in their clothes either.
So far I have only seen one more relaxed sloaney outfit and a lady (probably richer than all of them) in moth-eaten and muddy 'walking the dogs' outfits.
Conversely all of the husbands I have met (military, pilots, lawyers) are all down to earth dress, mostly unshaven. What a contrast.
WTF - why are the women so 'try- to-hard'? Grrrrr.
Lots of money, no class?

What is Wrong with mothers these days. Why aren't you like my mum whose sole purpose at the school gate was to embarrass the crap out of her DD?

Stupid woolly hats in winter? Yep
Hand knitted jumper with a panda on the front? Yep
Clogs? Yep
Duffel coat. A YELLOW duffel coat? Yep

I mean. Can't you at least make the effort?

[cats bum mouth]

QP, some mothers may be 'overdressed' in ypur opinion.However, to suggest that there is an element of 'competiveness, is disingenuous.
Some people like to dress up because it makes them feel good. That's their business. You are entitled to your opinion However, i think that there is an element of snobbery in your post as one has the impression that you think that the culprits are those with 'new' money.
What do you want them to do fgs? start wearing Boden Jeans and loafers to PROVE that they are 'old' money.

I went to a prep school in the 80's where the majority of the mothers were very glam; the look du jour as I recall was along the lines of Dynasty era Linda Evans. I'm ashamed to admit I occasionally felt a little mortified by my own lovely mother's gardening outfits at the school gates. Consequently, I do tend to make more of an effort than is probably necessary.

Most mothers at our school role up in scruffy round the house gear, I think I'd like a few 'try too hards' just for entertainment value.

We only have one and she's a settled traveller so not quite the same look at Gucci Euro-trash tbh, although sort of riveting to watch as I really can't fathom how so much make-up can stay on such a small face..... defies the laws of gravity and it's ever so, erm, colourful. She's a complete sweetheart too and incredibly shy which was really surprising the first time i chatted to her... I was expecting a brash attitude to go with the look.

Several of us have been known to roll up at 5 mins after start time and bundle the kids out the car door still in our pjs..... not a fashion statement so much as an 'Oh fuck we slept through the alarms again' statement

I only know one woman who wears pjs as clothes and it just looks so daft, she's a gorgeous young girl and it does her no justice.

*roll..... whoops

OP sorry you've had a hard time, I "got" your post. the reason it's so is because it's a prep. My dd recently went to the birthday party of a mate of hers at the local prep and i had to stifle giggles at the outfits, seriously, and I'm fairly well groomed myself and always have make-up on. I look really smart when I drop off before work but you can tell it's work stuff IYKWIM. I work for the NHS in a seniorish therapeutic role and if I turned up wearing what some of those Mums wore i'd probably sent home to cover up a bit, or laughed at by my colleagues for staggering about all day on high heeled trainers (I kid you not).

A lot of prep school Mums don't work but have oodles of cash at their disposal and as a result become bitchy, competitive and cliquey. Some of them aren't very bright....I know this is contentious but it's true, a lot of the wagesque type mums in Cheshire are pleasant but dull as ditchwater, and they haven't got much better to do with their time.

Yesterday I got the netmums email urging me to join some ridiculous campaign to get the government to outlaw mean mums at the school gate. I now see this law cannot come quickly enough. We must immediately legislate! Petition your MP now, and request an amendment to the bill further outlawing pjs, gucci wellies, high heels, anything not purchased on the Kings Road or anything sparkly. Except diamond-locked bikinis, which I Must See.

Thanks mini pie and minx, I see you also took time to READ my posts and speak with a similar experience. I think perhaps some people posting have not. I don't expect everyone to agree with me (that would be dull), but at least stop with the 'smacks of your low self confidence' posts. Quite the reverse.
Can I just clarify that when I mentioned old aristos in moth-eaten cashmere etc.... That does not mean I look down on anyone who is not, FFS. Nor did i really expect to find them. I just know that when I was at school/uni/work, it tended to be the richest who lived most frugally and were less in a rush to display their wealth by dressing to the nines at any given opportunity.
The whole point is, these women are NOT relaxed or just throwing something on. I think it is a form of competition and I don't think that is disingenuous of me to say that.
As I said before : 'does my butt look rich in this?'.
There is smart and then there is way overdone.

DDs school playground is definitely not a catwalk, there are one or two mums who always look glam and made up, but then perhaps people also feel intimidated by me because I'm wearing smart clothes for work? Some look a bit scruffy at times, as I often do when I'm not working. Most look clean and presentable. Some are dressed to go off running or the gym.

If people are wearing designer clothes then I wouldn't notice as I couldn't tell designer from Primark or cheap knock-off if it slapped me round the chops. What I do notice is nice fabric, shapes and patterns, and something that looks a bit original/individual, or if someone has changed their hair or looks different.

But I honestly don't find it at all competitive. I wouldn't say I don't worry at all about how people perceive me but I am about ten times more confident at 36 than I was 20 years ago!

Golden- I can only base what I say on my observations of the various schools and areas I have been involved with. Otherwise I would simply be making stuff up or making assumptions.

If you choose to see my experience and explanation of said experience as inherently snobbish, that is your choice. Not much I can do about it.

"wives of tradesmen"

It's simply that in that area the only people with any money/ability to make money are builders and plumbers, so they are the ones who can afford the fees. And they are the ones who like bling. It's just a description of a fact. There's no judgment.

I think actually many people are judgy about other people's clothes, but for some reason won't admit it. Probably because they will be lambasted like me

YANBU

I feel similar - but on a budget!! Round here everyone knows everyone elses business (small village school). If someone has a new hair cut pictures of it are posted on FB that morning ready for the said 'hair-do' to be admired on school collection....

If you have lost a lb at slimming world/ weight watchers that morning then news spread fast, ready for the congratulations to be handed out en-route to the playground. Then of course the tanning regime needs to be in check! Excuses for being pale are not tolerated and you draw looks of pity - and shame on you if you do not have your make up on or if it is raining you had better have your Hunter wellies on or you will be shunned like a leper.

There is smart and then there is way overdone.

But if I see someone who is overly made up or somewhat OTT, I just think "Well, fair play to them, that's their style".

It's not something I wish to emulate as I'm confident in how I appear whether I'm panda-eyed fresh faced and wearing tracksuit bottoms jeans or on those rare occasions where I have managed the triple crown of being made up with shiny hair and smartly dressed for work. :)

OP, we really don't know the reason they are 'overdressed'. I may think it's is inappropriate, you may think it's inappropriate. The thing is that THEY don't think that they are dressing inappropriately. I do take your point that some of the richest people live more frugally, but that is entirely dependent on where you live and your lifestyle. For example a rich farmer' s wife would be more likely to dress in wellies because of her environment, However, a WAG like individual is more likely to have the fake tan, bleached hair etc, because of her lifestyle. It doesn't make the farmer's wife any 'better' or any less competitive.

Agree and take some of those points.
I think if your general style is to be very glam and made up, more power to you. But I genuinely do think a lot more of these women dress like this to look considerably richer than thou and are trying too hard. I don't think it is what they would normally wear, and being a semi-rural school, what they need to wear. Nor is it practical in a day-to-day looking after the children way. Why wear vertiginous heels and bundles of expensive cashmere when you will be going back to change into Capri pants and shirt?
In a way, I think it would be like all of the dads turning up in a pinstriped suit ready for the office, when actually it is their day off, or working from home. Just for the school run. Then take it all off when they go home. Why?

I think what to wear on the school run is a definite competitive issue. A lot of the mothers dropping off at ds' are going to work so look very smart, some will be going out to lunch or shopping, so Id feel completely inappropriate in joggers and a t.shirt. Sometimes I get dressed, drop ds off and then change into a tracksuit when I get home.....that makes me a definite 'try hard'. I do it because I want to fit in, and I want my kids to fit in, I know everyone should feel they can wear what they like without being judged, but in reality so so many people do judge on appearance, and it's important to me to 'pass' this judgement

BtB I wholly agree, and actually I do sometimes change too after the school run (if I am going to be cleaning, gardening, working). I guess what I am trying to say is annoying me is the level of overdressing. I will not dress a la Victoria Beckham heels for the school run, just to fit in. I think that makes me confident not under-confident for questioning the sanity of people dressed for dinner to do the drop offs.

This is exactly my point backtobedlam - you do it because they do it, which means others also have to do it if they want to fit in, etc etc. It's a shame IMO, as it just leads to more effort and a bit of anxiety for everyone.

Who knows, maybe the ones who look smart who you are trying to fit in with, are actually dressing up in order to fit in with you? And in fact everyone would rather be in a tracksuit.

Maybe it's time for a school gates "no dressing up" pact...

School gates pact sounds like a good idea....as long as it's unbranded tracksuits only and no juicy couture or anything!

Go on, I dare you to suggest it!

I do want to 'fit in' - in terms of getting on well or at least amicably with most people but don't feel I have to do so by dressing one way or another. I feel I fit in enough by just being myself.

Trying to make people like you by not being yourself tends to make them actually not like you very much. It took me practically all of school to realise this. Same goes in everything really, relationships, work etc.

Sounds like a very 'new money' atmosphere to me.

Frankly I find the 'Sloane Ranger' look equally as naff, although I do dress that way myself, from time to time

DS2 was 10 days old when DS1 went to school for the first time.
I was sleep deprived, had unwashed hair and probably the mark of satan on my top as DS2 was a very sickie baby and what went in came out with gusto....

I was too busy coping with a new baby and first day of school to worry if I was smartly dressed enough

I do know where you are coming from though OP some people do tend to treat it as a status thing

The Times had a whole page at the start of term with what the 'well dressed mummy' was wearing at the school gate. Dire!! Haven't these women got anything better to do? Just wear what you happen to be doing at the time e.g. if gardening- old clothes. I am very, very thankful mine didn't go to an 'in' London prep school, but one with normal women.The excuse given was that they had to keep up with the celebrity mum? Why?
(I have seen the celebrity mum on the ski slopes and everyone had a bit of a laugh and no one wanted to compete).