Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that the community on money saving expert are a bunch of wankers

64 replies

stdorothymantooth · 12/09/2011 11:48

I am a regular poster but posting under a different name, Im going though some problems at the moment, I posted here in the relationships section about the relationship side of it, money saving expert was recommended to me to get help on the financial side of my problems, so I posted there and all I have got back are a load of replies telling me my DH is better off financially without me. Well geez, thanks for that, so no advice for the actual financial question I asked then, just a load of self important wankers telling me that I'm not good enough for DH.
I know its bad form to come onto a forum and bash another forum but I'm so pissed off I needed a rant. Will stick to MN from now on.

OP posts:
itisnearlysummer · 12/09/2011 12:02

Not very nice to hear, but whenever I've looked most of the people on there give sage advice.

Perhaps they're not "self important wankers" but don't think you've had your lightbulb moment yet. Don't forget, most of them have been where you are.

Is your DH better off without your financially? Only that will decide if you are BU or not!

If that's what they are saying, you must have given them reason to think that.

Callisto · 12/09/2011 12:11

I've only ever found the Money Saving Expert forum brilliant for advice and very friendly. Without seeing your original post on MSE it is very hard to say whether you are being unreasonable or not, but I find it hard to believe the MSE folks would tell you that your husband is too good for you without reason.

BluMoon · 12/09/2011 12:13

I like the forum on moneysavingexpert but they can be a little blunt at times. They tend to see everything black and white. If you're causing your DH's financial problems, they'll see the solution as getting rid of you. Not nice but that's how they are IMO.

cat64 · 12/09/2011 12:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

TrillianAstra · 12/09/2011 12:18

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

Original poster
stdorothymantooth · 12/09/2011 12:21

Trillian I know, I just needed to vent somewhere.
cat64 I didnt post about the relationship, I posted about the financial issue, specifically asking for help on that subject.

OP posts:
Sorelip · 12/09/2011 12:23

I've never had an issue on there, but then I've never posted about relationship stuff. MSE had helped me climb out of a debt hole, so I can't knock it, but I have seen threads descend into slangng matches on there - same as I've seen on every other board.

gallicgirl · 12/09/2011 12:26

The one forum I read once made them sound like ex-smokers or former alcoholics. You know? Their attitude seemed to be "we might have been crap with money once but now we're great so we're going to be all holier-than-thou about it and it's your own tough luck if you're having problems".

But it was only one example and there could well be great advice there.

MN probably sounds the same to outsiders.

mummymccar · 12/09/2011 12:27

I posted once and not been back since.

My mum posted on there a few years ago too asking for advice when my dad was made redundant. Some advice but a lot of unwarranted abuse saying that he probably deserved it. One person even suggested he should kill himself so mum could claim the life insurance. Mum was very, very upset after that post.

There are some awful, awful people on there and I avoid it like the plague now.

Original poster
stdorothymantooth · 12/09/2011 12:29

sorelip I didnt post about the relationship

OP posts:
Sorelip · 12/09/2011 12:30

Bloody hell mummymccar that is awful!

Original poster
stdorothymantooth · 12/09/2011 12:32

sorry sorelip meant to say, I didnt ask about the relationship, thats why it was such a shock to get everyones opinion on it.

OP posts:
Sorelip · 12/09/2011 12:33

OP, in that case they should have kept their opinions to themselves on that matter. I do tend to stick to the challenges and chatty threads on there, so I miss out on the self righteous crap.

LoveBeingAMummyAgain · 12/09/2011 12:35

Do you want to post your question again here?

mummymccar · 12/09/2011 12:36

Yeah I was furious but there isn't really much you can do except report the post. By that point the damage is already done.

Cereal · 12/09/2011 12:36

Did you tell them you thought their opinions were insensitively given and not relevant to your question?

irrationalfury · 12/09/2011 12:37

They can be a bit prissy in that special way yeah. Doesn't mean they are all a bunch of wankers.

I remember I posted once and was massively taken aback to be told that I would have to declare bankruptcy and might end up in prison(!) - needless to say that didn't happen nor was it actually likely to.

They can be fairly 'using a sledgehammer to crack a nut' but don't take it personally. They feel QUALIFIED to comment which is always dangerous, but are not actually! Obviously love is priceless etc etc.

Dirtydishesmakemesad · 12/09/2011 12:38

I only ever go on the oldstyle or the special occassions boards which i find much more friendly. The times i have ventured into some of the other topics i have found that i just didnt feel like i fit in at all.
What they said is ridiculous, in most relationships there is one person who would be financially better off without the other, for example i am a sahm so my dh woukd be better of without me. A few years ago dh had loads of debt in his name so i would have been better off without him but thats hardly the point of a relationship is it?

Stick to the friendlier less pushy parts and its fine :)

TheRealTillyMinto · 12/09/2011 12:41

OP can you post a version of the post here... if you want another view on it?

NoMoreWasabi · 12/09/2011 12:42

When I've been I've not really noticed that. I'm sure you get wankers like you do everywhere. But TBH without seeing the topic in full it is hard to say much more.

Original poster
stdorothymantooth · 12/09/2011 12:45

lovebeingamummyagain :
recently my husband applied for a loan with our bank (in order to consolidate his two credit cards - better one bill than three) and was declined, when he was asked why he was told that while his credit report was fine, mine had some problems.
I did have a few debt problems years ago and thought we had cleared them however, after getting my credit report I can see there are three unpaid debts totalling just under £1200, how do I contact these people to see about clearing these debts and as they are quite old do you think they will accept a payment plan or expect full payment, bearing in mind I have not been chased for either of these debts.

OP posts:
rosieposey · 12/09/2011 12:46

Oh god i can vouch for that OP. i posted on there because i was looking for some advice wrt our mortgage. We had found our dream property and wanted to know about something and it was my 2nd ever post and i got some really rude replies. One was asking all about our financial backgrounds and if we could actually afford the proposed amount we were borrowing ( dh is a Financial Director so has a pretty good idea about budgeting but not mortgages) when i actually asked about something else - i have seen him post on other threads and he is the same on them, i feel really sorry for new people that post there.

It put me off ever posting on the financial or mortgage boards although i do have little look at oldstyle here and there and there is some good advice too - its just such a shame its delivered in such a nasty supercillious fashion

cantspel · 12/09/2011 12:52

I love the money saving boards just for entertainment value.
Their christmas threads are a scream as people try to out do each other with now little they have spent on their family. If you believe half of what they post to be true then there must be thousands of 6 year olds getting a knitted blanket and a bag of boiled sweets for christmas.

Dirtydishesmakemesad · 12/09/2011 12:55

Cantspel the best thing i read was people advising me to give my 24 year old dh some knitted socks and a heat pad for christmas. Nothing wrong with those things just cant really see many 24 year old men getting alot of use...

MinesaBottle · 12/09/2011 13:00

I posted asking for advice on mortgages when we were buying our first flat ? I was a first time buyer although my DH owns a house in his home country ? and was accused of trying to fraudulently get the first time buyer stamp duty exemption (I was asking if we counted as FTBs but it was moot anyway because the flat we bought was over the threshold) and of being a horrible money grabbing landlord who wanted to exploit the stamp duty exemption to buy a place to squeeze money out of some poor renter. Clearly the person hadn?t actually read my post and assumed because DH rents his house out overseas (to a friend, at a loss I might add) we were trying to start some kind of international buy to let empire. Hmm

Some of the advice is good but a lot of posters jump to conclusions and don?t really read your original post. Also some of them are a bit thick as you?d expect from anywhere there is a wide spectrum of people.