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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think that the community on money saving expert are a bunch of wankers

64 replies

stdorothymantooth · 12/09/2011 11:48

I am a regular poster but posting under a different name, Im going though some problems at the moment, I posted here in the relationships section about the relationship side of it, money saving expert was recommended to me to get help on the financial side of my problems, so I posted there and all I have got back are a load of replies telling me my DH is better off financially without me. Well geez, thanks for that, so no advice for the actual financial question I asked then, just a load of self important wankers telling me that I'm not good enough for DH.
I know its bad form to come onto a forum and bash another forum but I'm so pissed off I needed a rant. Will stick to MN from now on.

OP posts:

cantspel · 12/09/2011 13:01

Dirtydishes you are ment to buy the socks and heat pads so you can then turn off the heating and sit in a cold dark house eating a cold turkey leg for christmas diner. That is the true money saving way.

Sorelip · 12/09/2011 13:09

OP, I'm no expert (better get that in now!) but I'll try to help. How old are the debts? Also, can you afford to pay them off in full at the moment?

With regard to the original loan application to pay off the credit cards, is there currently interest on the cards?

cheekeymonkey · 12/09/2011 13:11

OP, don't think all the negative answers you got on MSE were at all warrented. You said you didn't know about the debts FGS!
Hope you manage to get them sorted, maybe citizens advice could help you?
mummycar, that is shocking. Do they have a 'report abuse' setting on their posts?

itisnearlysummer · 12/09/2011 13:15

OP That seems like quite a tame post for the responses you got!

I thought you might have been confessing to a shopping addiction that had got you in trouble and your DH had already supported you by paying off 2 large credit card debts already and now you'd run up another!

Have no practical advice to offer you but hope you get it sorted out.

mummymccar · 12/09/2011 13:27

Cheekymonkey - My mum reported it and I think she actually had to e-mail somebody rather than click a button. I don't know if they have a button now like MN has but it would certainly make things easier!

OP - your post certainly doesn't warrant those responses! Do you know who the debts are with? If not, Experion can tell you on your credit report. You have to register and there is a monthly charge but you can cancel your membership after getting the report through. If you do know then the best thing to do would be contact the people you owe to directly. They should be able to set up a payment plan with you. When you start paying off the debts your rating will start to improve though you may have to do some extra things to help it along (the Experion website has a great section for advising what these are on the website too)
Good luck!

GrendelsMum · 12/09/2011 13:37

MSE has a lot of plain-spoken people (much like Mumsnet), but it does suffer from some extremely unpleasant trolls who attack vulnerable people. The suggestion that someone who is in debt commit suicide will have come from one of those.

TheRealTillyMinto · 12/09/2011 13:46

OP i think you should repost under a different name with just the bear bones. you have had debt problems, thought they were sorted, want to know what to do now. etc etc

you probably will get asked lots of personal questions about current income etc. because this is what the creditors will do when you contact them. you might as well be forearmed....

i think the problem with MSE is that lots of people want their finances sorting without actually changing anything. i have seen people seriously in debt, who refuse to give up the gym. going out, gambling etc..... so MSErs dont have much patience for anyone who does not want to be completely realistic and open.

(i am Mortgage Free on house 1 and will be a mortgage free wannabe as soon as new RTM Towers hase been purchased. it works for me but is not to everyones taste)

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy · 12/09/2011 14:01

Why are you spending your working time posting all over the net? When you may have to find £1200 to satisfy 3 creditors, the last thing you should be doing is place your job in jeopardy.

You've posted in Relationships and have had sound advice, including some that you have not have been looking for.

You need to face up to the fact that you should sit down with your dh, show him your credit report, and get this relatively minor problem sorted.

As you've been told if these debts do, in fact, exist they are historic and should have been sorted out prior to your marriage when both got to grips with your precarious finances.

Your dh cannot reasonably leave you over debts that a) you were unaware of and b) haven't been racked up during your marriage.

Bite the bullet, 'fess up, and get it over with.

Original poster

stdorothymantooth · 12/09/2011 14:07

izzy I have taken today as a flexi day as I felt like rubbish between stressing over this and having a teething 8 month old.

OP posts:

SarahBumBarer · 12/09/2011 14:09

Izzy - I'm not sure if the OP will be more or less upset if her DH leaves her "unreasonably". And I don't really blame her for wanting to get some advice before she 'fesses up such that she can present him with a battle plan for putting all this right.

gallicgirl · 12/09/2011 14:18

OP: the creditors name and address can be found on Experian. As someone else said you can sign up for free for the first month but make sure you do cancel your membership as it's £15 a month after that. I found it really useful as it has lots of tools to help you improve your credit rating.

Part of my job involves collecting debts and as these don't seem too large and are old, the creditor will probably be glad you've contacted. Although they would prefer payment in full, they will probably accept a repayment plan providing it's not taking the piss. They may ask about income and outgoings so prepare this in advance and work out how much you can afford to offer them. Make sure it is a realistic amount that you can stick to.

Good luck and I hope you get it sorted out ok.

Olifin · 12/09/2011 14:38

:( What was the actual financial question you asked? Is it worth asking it here to see if anyone can help?

fatlazymummy · 12/09/2011 15:54

I post on MSE quite a lot .I really like it. Of course there are all sorts of different posters, as there are on most forums.

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy · 12/09/2011 16:35

Apologies if I misinterpreted your previous post on Relationships, but you have said that when you are at work you can't concentrate on what you are meant to be doing:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1298627-I-think-my-DH-will-leave-me-now-bit-long-but-am-really-upset

It seems to me that you have been given a choice of 'battleplans' and, instead of worrying yourself sick, you need to sit down with your dh and work out why these alleged debts were not paid years ago - if, in fact, they haven't been paid.

There's no need to approach him cap in hand as you were as unaware of these alleged debts as he was/is. You and your dh are a team and I have every confidence that you'll sort this matter out a lot quicker than it's taken you to post on various internet sites.

Original poster

stdorothymantooth · 12/09/2011 16:46

izzywhizzy I swear I have been away and just come back I went into work this morning but decided as I was no use to anyone today I took the rest of the day off, what can I say I'm ahead with my workplan and dont have any meetings today so not putting anyone out.
I think panic had just overtaken me this morning, hence the manic posting, Having taken all the advice on board which I have been given (and it is all excellent advice btw) I am now a lot less panicked and can actually calmly see that things arent as bad as I thought and with a bit of careful planning I can get through this, I just panicked so much as we have very little/no spare cash at the end of each month so not sure how we are going to do this.

OP posts:

ragged · 12/09/2011 16:50

There are one or two posters on MSE who make my teeth gnash.
Then again there are posters on MN who raise my hackles.
And as for broadcast pundits... I nearly started a rant on here this morning about Aric Sigman.

I think that Wankers just creep in everywhere, must learn to ignore much better.

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy · 12/09/2011 18:55

Sometimes the written word is open to misinterpretation!

I wasn't judging you; my concern was that you seemed to be running round in circles posting hither and thither, causing yourself unnecessary stress and distress in the process, when a number of solutions were under your nose.

I hope that it transpires that all, or at least one, of the alleged outstanding sum has been paid and that you can bring about an improvement in your credit rating.

Original poster

stdorothymantooth · 12/09/2011 20:01

Thanks izzy I knew you weren't judging just in a mess of panic I didn't make myself very clear.

OP posts:

Voidka · 12/09/2011 20:07

The Benefits board on there is very viperish!

Cocoflower · 12/09/2011 20:53

I can only be honest and say I have had very good experiences on there. Though some people are a little alarmist.

TBH if you think thats bad dont ever go near the house price crash forum!

FabbyChic · 12/09/2011 20:55

Debts cease to become payable after six years, and after six years they drop off your credit file.

gallicgirl · 12/09/2011 21:07

Debts do NOT cease to be payable after 6 years. You can not be billed for something for the first time if the debt arose more than six years ago but if you were correctly billed at the time then the debt is still enforceable.

FabbyChic · 12/09/2011 21:08

It drops off your credit file after six years!

gallicgirl · 12/09/2011 21:12

Yup, that's right but I don't know if that only applies to settled debts and outstanding debts remain.

In all fairness, a lot of companies will give up chasing you after a certain amount of time depending on the size of the debt. It's just a waste of limited resources to carry on. Mind you, sometimes they sell the debt and then you get a new company chasing you so it's just as well to get it sorted now.

WhoWhoWhoWho · 12/09/2011 21:18

I've always found the advice on mse very helpful. You do get the odd wanker posting just like on any other forum (I've had wankerish replies on there too but have let them go over my head, it shows their true character not mine) you are better off ignoring them and focusing on the useful posts.

Hope you get sorted OP.

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