STAND UP AND BE COUNTED AND STOP THE ATTACKS ON SN PARENTS

[4madboys]

ok NOT an aibu, but this is where it will be seen the most and it NEEDS awareness.

quite frankly, i along with others am appalled at the comments that are being made and left to stand, toward the SN community, they are downright offensive and quite simply appalling.

i am sure (or hope) that the majority on here do NOT agree with them but yet the SN community on mn are not being supported, whether this is because people do not know what to say, or they havent seen these posts i do not know?

BUT IT IS ABOUT TIME THAT THINGS CHANGED, so this a thread where you can stand up and be counted and say that you do not agree with the disregard, blatant trolling and offensive behaviour towards our lovely mn who have or are dealing with sn in their family.

they need this place for support, not the vile behaviour that they are getting.

so please post here and show your support and help make a change for the better.

all it takes is a smile next to your name to show you agree :)

pagewatch a lot of parents with SN kids have felt that way initially, and its perfectly normal. When you fall pregnant you have many hopes and dream for your child, you may have certain expectations too, so when your child appears to have SN it can be shattering, like a grieving process.

Like a poster said once to me. You buy a plane ticket to Holland, you are really looking forward to seeing the sights that Holland has to offer, and foods to eat, but then you get on a plane to Germany. Its not quite the same, you were disappointed because you had wanted to go to Holland, but then you discover that Germany has a lot to offer too, and wonderful sights to see and foods to eat.

Its like that initially when your child is dx with an SN, it can take time to adjust and for things to sink in.

There are different stages of coping, and I understand that the first stage is denial, will have to consult my psychology books for the other stages, as its been years since I studies my MSc on the subject

Ah welcome to holland.
To behonest I didn't feel that poem in any way reflected things at all; I felt rather pissed off that the boys ahd been gien some crap challenges unasked for and to an extent still do. Whilst i;d like to be I can't do the whole 'I would enver change them, it's just a different take' thing BUT my eldest si very challenging and ds3 quite marked so well yes.

I don't agree with censoring other peoples points of views as a rule, I think freedom of speech needs to trump all, unless there is an attempt to incite violence. And I'd say this applies to any topic, SN included.

I also think we need to differentiate between the specialist, generally more supportive areas, and AIBU. It is quite possible for SN people to BU (as for anyone) and the facility to say so must exist.

That said, there is no need to listen to anyone you disagree with and every reason to shout at them and stand up and call bullshit as this thread suggests.

As a policy I think MNHQ should delete personal attacks as policy, and anything else if huge numbers of people object.

More than that I think it should be left alone, or else you will wind up with a whole lot of areas that just cannot be discussed.

I kind of see it that way Peachy but not always, especially when dd is being treated differently at MS to the other kids. We have to go in later to avoid the confusion of registration and having to sit down, that I have to collect her at 12 not at 3 like the other kids. That at collection time she is the only one screaming not her other NT peers.

stages of bereavement

For me I found that very accurate but I know others don't like it.

Possibly whatme with teh exception that if someone is being tagrgeted- either willfully or by luck- and is feeling very upset as a result then deleting or locking is a fair response. I don't know I've yet been in that position but I think that's what happened to Fanjo and Glitter last night.

And I have a letter from her headteacher at MS recently to discuss her complex needs during transition from preschool to Foundation

We gave up on MS for ds1 at year 6, but he's doing so well in Base we're worried he will lose that resource now and we'll be stuffed right abck into that! Warly days though, always takes 6 weeks to collapse, I did warn them of that. DS3 satrted SNU in year1, Easter, as it simply did not work for him. He has thrived. We are lucky they run teh Base system here though so kids can get a SN provision with an academic education and appropriate access to MS as warranted (DS1 lots, ds3 little).

Piglet did you resolve the letter issues?

Gotta run but will check tomorrow.

It was more aimed at pagewatch comment when suggestions from MNetters that their child could have sN by other posters is met with not my child, and that she found it offensive. Its a part of denial process, and acceptance, it can be a hell of a lot to deal with that their child could have an SN, it can take a while, and its completely normal.

No I got the letter in her book bag on Friday and just the wording made me a bit

I dont see it that i wanted Holland and got Germany, thats a bit like getting the 2nd prize.

claw I guess not so much the 2nd prize, but you discover that though your child thinks in a different way, you can see all the qualities and skills that your child does have and appreciate them. For example, my dd has autistic traits not a full dx of Autism, but she does not have a bad word to say about anybody, she is a lovely little girl who is not spiteful or nasty. Because of her traits, nasty names seems to go over her head, she does not have an understanding of what they are, though she might later on.

Think you might be teaching pagwatch to suck eggs bait there, pigletmania.

Bait? A bit, sorry.

For example also if she were the only child not to be invited to a class party, it would have absolutely no effect on her, she would not feel or , I would though. So her SN has a double edged sword if thats the right phrase, though it makes like difficult for her, it also means she does not have the same emotions as others, including the negative feeling ones.

are you calling pagwatch a granny?

directed at BOF, obviously

I am just looking at it from a different angle really, and that is what a lot of parents including myself feel really.

And to add my own experience, I don't philosophically embrace all the other qualities and skills etc etc when I'm changing my 11 year old's nappy or getting punched in the face during an autistic meltdown. I wasnt that bothered about Holland, but I certainly wasn't fucking expecting war-torn Afganistan. But hey, we're all different

Yes BOF they all are, obviously SN differs so much from child to child, sometimes for me though its like war torn Afganistan especially in full meltdown mode in the middle of the highstreet. My nerves are shot

I wish I could have a , I am 22 weeks pg at the moment so will have a

Piglet
Whilst I think you are assuming that we have d ifferent views, you are actually saying the same as me.
Except that you are assuming that new poster arrives all vulnerable and fragile and meets sn parentscwho are all sorted and measured.

New parent may be an emotional three months behind the person answering. The person answering may be just as fragile as the poster with the question.

The notion of the sn section as a sorted group of women, past diagnosis and therefore just choosing to be bolshi is odd to me.

If someone says "ffs some cow said my son isn't normal" that may be valid in terms of their shock.
But is "Christ, sn is not a term of abuse. My sons issues are not shameful" as a reaction from a woman still reeling 6 months later suddenly bitchy and calculated?