STAND UP AND BE COUNTED AND STOP THE ATTACKS ON SN PARENTS

[4madboys]

ok NOT an aibu, but this is where it will be seen the most and it NEEDS awareness.

quite frankly, i along with others am appalled at the comments that are being made and left to stand, toward the SN community, they are downright offensive and quite simply appalling.

i am sure (or hope) that the majority on here do NOT agree with them but yet the SN community on mn are not being supported, whether this is because people do not know what to say, or they havent seen these posts i do not know?

BUT IT IS ABOUT TIME THAT THINGS CHANGED, so this a thread where you can stand up and be counted and say that you do not agree with the disregard, blatant trolling and offensive behaviour towards our lovely mn who have or are dealing with sn in their family.

they need this place for support, not the vile behaviour that they are getting.

so please post here and show your support and help make a change for the better.

all it takes is a smile next to your name to show you agree :)

Sunday night: perhaps a less experienced staffer on duty at mnhq doing the deleting?

[giving benefit of doubt emoticon]

Yes, and where is LadyOfThe?

Personally, I have always found her to be an excru poster who I would like to see - just as I found daftpunk.

Maypole appears to be a little bit ig to be fair.

I don;t post about the boys to get advice so much any more - 6 years and mopst of an MA has seen to that- but I do need support adn a whine occasionally and whilst I ahte to say old friends after 10 years here most of them don;t post on Sn which is a very functional place. They post here.

Id never start a thrw=ead in aibu without expecting a drumming 9rarely get one so can;t be that abd!) but equally if someone else posts idiocy there I will not say 'ooh it's not Sn I shall leave it alone.

Posts saying ADHD will get a reply from me about research looking at damage to the corpus callosum; threads in politics talking about how the disabled are exempt from changes to the system will be clarified (only certain changes); crap about benefit claimants will be challenged. And I know full well the last one is scab picking but I hate hate hate the idea sold on here that carers are often thick and would be on minimum wage anyway or that DLA is a free for all and CA pays £350 PW accessed by a series of secret winks at teh benefits office.

Ultimately, when i die I won't have loads of cash to leave him but if a post I make informs someone just a little then i've helped change the world for him. I don't mind engaging with people who willing to learn either, it's enjoyable. And the ones who like to poke and pick just wind me up and whilst I avoid them for months at a time as soon as my self esteem drops I pretty much find them irresistable. but equally you never know who is reading so there's still potential for value.

And often half way through a thread you find someone who says they are worried about their child, or something: 5 years I was a member before ds1 got a diagnosis. I don't want newbies who have a worry to think that SN is something hidden behind closed doors and nobody from Sn is allowed on the main board: as long as people with NT kids are allowed to discuss their kids freely then so will I. And if people are nasty or bigoted I will call it exactly what it is.

, dd 4.5 developmental delay of 2 years and autistic traits. She is the only one in her MS school foundation year with SN, feel all alone sometimes and why us

Maypole can pick, she or he knows how

It was spiderig's posts that got me .

I think I love you a little bit Peachy after that post

You and others posts on SN have helped though dx and all it has entailed, and I'm very bloody grateful to you all.

No it was in Education, it was six months ago. But it was sn parents that posted - and some of them were pretty agressive. I won't name names but I was called an eejit, told I was in denial, told my ds was felt sorry for with a mother like me.

Yes I am still angry. At the time I was quite stressed and anxious, but even that apparently was the wrong reaction. Because it suggested I felt autism was some terrible affliction.

spiderpig doh!

'expect every opinion we don't like to be removed'. agree which is why I follow the eduicate route usually

But if we are encouraged to educate then the converse side needs to be that there is a fail safe mechanism when a troll slips in. By troll I mean aomsoen who deliberately pokes for fun or perversity; NOT someone who disagrees with me.

AddressBook I suspect I recall your thread and whilst I don't think i agreed I don;t think I was horrid either. But I may be wrong- it would ahve to have been some time back for that to be right (my PC has a b;ip and never showws SN in active convos never mind how many boxes I tick, and I always get caught up in something before I get over there). If it IS the thread I recall then you did manage to post when MN was in an incredibly bad place which is a shame, people were being attacked all over the shop. I know I got roundly jumped on a few times for daring to mention my studies. Could it be worth trying again? And if not I am sorry you found it that way, it's a shame when the Sn support fails but just sometimes it does. It's still by and far safer than before it was locked away mind.

Great post peachy.

I think coming to terms with a Childs difficulties can echo a grieving process. Sone stages are much harder than others.
I doubt that we can all be rational and measured all the time. What wounds one day will not bother the next.

It's difficult.

I remember your thread addressbook. It was like that.

Thank you hazey, that's all ost of us try to do.

Address if it was in education then it might not have been what I am thinking of- or may be not sure. Was it shortly after the whole MN in the press thing with riven and respite?

I understand that Pagwatch, but I did not deserve some of the reactions I got. I have got my shit too, but I would never attack someone in that manner.

Address whether I am right about which thread or not, if there is anything I can help with do feel free to shout, I promise not to judge and just answer any questions / give suggestions. Just becuase somoen's path is not what i would choose does not mean it is wrong for them

addressbook Oh right, i was going to say i doubt you ever would have got that reaction on the SN section, stressed and anxious is how the majority of us feel! I have never seen anyone being aggressive or hurtful on the sn section.

I wasn't responding to you actually address book.

I don't know what thread you are talking about. I am sorry if you were treated poorly. But the parents of sn children are not clones. We are not ever supportive, ever united, always giving.
Some wankers have children with sn. Some great people have children with sn have bad days.

I have struggled with threads where posters who have couched their concerns about their child in " oh my god someone said my child is not normal. How dare they suggest he may have sn " because however the posters anxiety, that is fucking offensive. So I know diagnosis threads can be difficult.

So a thread on sn, with the best of intentions can go tits up. We are only human

As a mothe rof two gorgeous SN boys I am amazed on occasion at osme peoples ignorance towards disability (not just here) but thank fully mostly are lovely

I won't post a link, because I don't want it stirred up too much. However I am not hiding anything either.

Basically a nursery worker flagged up an issue with my ds. Although she didn't mention asd specifically, I felt that was what she was getting at. My ds did used to have 'traits' which mildly worried me when he was younger, but he has grown out of them. I always trust my wonderful MIL who has raised four children and has an MBE for child development work and was a nursery teacher. I was told she is probably in denial too, and my BIL who is a GP.

My ds is on stage 1 of intervetion, which means his teacher is aware and monitors. I have a good relationship with the deputy head, we have met regularly.

I have received very mixed messages. But I have been told he is fine developmentally and socially. He sometimes needs support following instructions in a group setting but I know my boy can be shy and likes to get things right.

There were issues with the nursery and their professionalism. Apparently my ds had problems settling initially but I wasn't approached until he had been there for six months . Anyway he has settled into school fine, but we are not ignoring the situation - as I was accused of.

No one has actually suggested assessment. I posted on Education, just wondering if other mums had been through similar. It was sn parents that posted and some were rude and nasty. I wasn't even posting in sn section. I couldn't care less if I am attacked again - I can stick up for myself and in a lot less vulnerable place.

I will maintain though, that a mum is allowed to trust her instincts either way -whether she thinks something is wrong but is being ignored, or that she thinks someone has jumped to conclusions too soon. Without being accused of being in denial

I posted on the benefits thread in response to the bile kidsrfreaky posted and it was deleted.

shineon, have mnhq messaged you to explain why they removed your post? they normally do

not anymore, I've had several posts deleted in the past few days, with no explanation, not even when I asked for one. A post of mine, wondering why a post was deleted, was itself deleted

I've no idea why they were deleted, and I've been posting regularly for years. I namechange, because I always wind up outing myself. But I don't think I've ever had a post deleted until this week, and my worldview has not suddenly changed.

I don't know why shiney's first post was deleted, unless because it was a bit patronising. That would explain some of my deletions too . MNHQ should let us know if the rules have changed.

True upai1d. I had some horrible crap mentioned in my presence last week (not to my face), but it was more than balanced by the extreme kindness shown to ds4 by staff at the same activity. And I somehow suspect that after I mentioned ds's were indeed amongst that costly disabled group she was mouthing off about she went home and kicked herself very hard indeed.

I drive to Devon regularly to take part in my hooby with the most wonderful group of friends, many of whom have been exposed to the boy's oddities (think an 11 year old sitting on a toy fire engine pushing himself along with his feet, shoes on hands, squawking (am I mean to PMSL)) and are more than happy to just take them for who they are. but I guess I get immune to that sometimes and it's easy to focus on the recent direct insult rather than long term decency.

I was shocked though Pagwatch. Not in a 'oh how dare they' kind of way. But because I worried for my ds - a normal human reaction

I would have been just as shocked if a physical condition was being suggested or a mental health problem

Addressbook without seeing the thread, its hard to say why anyone reacted that way. As you say put it down to experience and as Pagwatch says sn parents are not all clones.

'I will maintain though, that a mum is allowed to trust her instincts either way -whether she thinks something is wrong but is being ignored, or that she thinks someone has jumped to conclusions too soon. Without being accused of being in denial'

Absolutely (although sometimes people are in denial- I know I was with ds3, you'd think after ds1 i'd have relaised but oh no, ostrich me).

And you know a lot of kids fall somewhere between NT and diagnosable and benefit from just a little awareness of what can manifest as quirks and challenges. DS2 is like to an extent- he ahs suspected other stuff going on but there's traits of asd and nothing more. I am finding that using a little asd knowledge helps with him ( am liking my 20 minute timer atm!) but that's about it. He's been on SA for ages but he'll lose that this year I think.

ASD is a continuum: some people will be not quite there and some others hover eg when under stress.