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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

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Original poster

STAND UP AND BE COUNTED AND STOP THE ATTACKS ON SN PARENTS

885 replies

4madboys · 11/09/2011 11:39

ok NOT an aibu, but this is where it will be seen the most and it NEEDS awareness.

quite frankly, i along with others am appalled at the comments that are being made and left to stand, toward the SN community, they are downright offensive and quite simply appalling.

i am sure (or hope) that the majority on here do NOT agree with them but yet the SN community on mn are not being supported, whether this is because people do not know what to say, or they havent seen these posts i do not know?

BUT IT IS ABOUT TIME THAT THINGS CHANGED, so this a thread where you can stand up and be counted and say that you do not agree with the disregard, blatant trolling and offensive behaviour towards our lovely mn who have or are dealing with sn in their family.

they need this place for support, not the vile behaviour that they are getting.

so please post here and show your support and help make a change for the better.

all it takes is a smile next to your name to show you agree :)

OP posts:

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 11/09/2011 20:19

Strange how the wankers posters from Glitter's and other threads are far too gutless to come on a thread like this and justify their fuckwittery

Pagwatch · 11/09/2011 20:21

I think there is almost always a time and a place for a joke.

Well I bloody hope so. Or the rabbit gets it.

CardyMow · 11/09/2011 20:22

Richtea. LOTM?

talkingnonsense · 11/09/2011 20:24

I just read the theme park thread and was appalled that people could behave like that to anyone in an exit queue. About to properly read rest of this thread, but please count me too. ( have two nt dc but godson and goddaughter have asd and have learnt so much on mn that has helped me).

hazeyjane · 11/09/2011 20:24

When I started posting on MN, I didn't have a child with special needs, and I learnt a lot just by reading what people were saying about their lives and their children.

The journey that I have been taking since having ds is a strange, scary and often isolating one. Finding out your child has problems, waiting for tests, wondering about diagnosis, watching other people's babies, worrying about their future, their health... it has been the hardest thing I have had to do. The people on the SN boards have been so supportive and helpful, and it is an amazing place to be able to go and feel as though you are surrounded by people who just know.

But I have been posting on MN for ages (in a quiet unassuming kind of way!) and dip in and out of AIBU, and parenting and behaviour and weaning etc etc and like most people my posts talk about my children and my experiences with them, which in turn influence my opinions. Since having ds, I am aware that I am often in that quandary of, 'should I mention that he has sn, is it relevant etc' in a way that I have never had to before, and I have often seen the eye roll post that comes after someone posts about their child's sn, and I guess that makes me wary.

But sod it, I will certainly mention it from now.

(By the way for any one who couldn't be arsed to read that post, i was basically saying I agree with what hecate said, but in a very waffly way)

Original poster

4madboys · 11/09/2011 20:24

yes i agree pagwatch, as a general rule a bit of a joke and a laugh is always good :)

do we know yet why shineon got deleted?!

and hobnobs tbh i am actually pretty impressed with how this thread has gone, i was totally expecting it to be end up trolled and filled with comments such as we have been seeing! there is still time tho i guess...

OP posts:

Peachy · 11/09/2011 20:26

richtea

Fanjo, bonkerz, glitter

2shoes on abreak

LeBOF · 11/09/2011 20:27

We need to get MNHQ on here to explain that- I am frankly baffled.

Peachy · 11/09/2011 20:28

Well MsC I've been in this world 6 years and I still am not teflon cpoated and enver will be. Just not the way I am built. AS I find the things I like most about me are related to that 9and enabled me to succeed in my past career) I won't be changing that either

Northernlurker · 11/09/2011 20:28

Dittany - we all post with our own particular history and situation on our backs - whatever that might be. That makes us more vulnerable to certain things but it doesn't mean that those things are wrong, wrong enought to be expunged.

Life is hard for a lot of people in a lot of ways. Yes we should be angry about that. Yes we should be able to find safe spaces but what we cannot do is expect every opinion we don't like to be removed. This board is for discussion not a compulsory consensus.

I didstinguish between hateful opinions and different (and imo wrongheaded!) opinions. The former should not stand. The latter must - as much as it frustrates and angers me.

Original poster

4madboys · 11/09/2011 20:28

and mamonito (not sure i have got her name right) has also posted on this thread to say she is leaving :(

and bullet who i have already mentioned :(

OP posts:

Peachy · 11/09/2011 20:30

EarlyBird (NAS course for parents of diagnosed kids) is a big fan of welcome to holland.

I am not.

RichTeaAreCrap · 11/09/2011 20:30

Loudlass - no not her.

AnnabellaFagina · 11/09/2011 20:31

I'm here to be counted

LeBOF · 11/09/2011 20:32

I did the Earlybird course years ago. Thankfully I was not subjected to the poem.

CardyMow · 11/09/2011 20:33

I think I know then. Possibly porcine in origin?

Pagwatch · 11/09/2011 20:33

Welcome to holland is just beyond grim.
I was given/sent it 7 times.
That was a test of several friendships.

Cheaptrick · 11/09/2011 20:33

A GSOH is always needed but i feel that this needs to be taken seriously and by not joking it achieves that.

I'm not having a go at shine and she can come off the naughty step now

(but dont stroke your pussy in public please)

addressbook · 11/09/2011 20:33

sorry but I find some of the sn parents on here quite agressive and hurtful. I was accused of being a bad mother and called names because I wouldn't rush to get my ds assessed. I was accused of being derogatory about sn because my maternal instinct told me my ds doesn't have sn.

There is often a cry for a mother's instinct to be trusted, when she feels there is something wrong and few will listen or take it seriously. But the other way around? When you feel someone might be jumping to conclusions too soon? Why is it a mother knows best, if she thinks something is wrong. Yet if she thinks her dc has been misinterpreted, she is accused of being in denial and told that professionals can see things that she can't?

you can't have it both ways i'm afraid.

I am in no way judgemental or negative about children with sn. I think every child is an individual to be cherished and loved for who they are. Few children will walk through life without facing hurdles, whether it be physical or mental health issues. I would never tolerate hate speak against any group of people or children.

However I am afraid I have been put right off the sn section. After the thread, in which I wanted support and advice, I was viciously attacked by some (not all). I could not sleep properly for nights.

So I am afraid I have had a bad experience which has put me off. Absolutely stand up for yourselves. There is a lot of stigma still, believe me I understand. My birth mother had severe mental health problems. But no I can't bring myself to support your cause when some of you were so downright nasty to a mother going through a hard time

Claw3 · 11/09/2011 20:33

I post on the SN section regularly, i have seen some threads in AIBU where some posters seem very ill informed, but i have to say most ill informed seem to change their minds once its explained to them.

I havent seen anyone singled out, just some ill informed views, but i might have missed something.

CardyMow · 11/09/2011 20:33

I was on the Earlybird course - it was where I first heard it.

happymole · 11/09/2011 20:34

I'm supposed to be going on the Earlybird course soon. Holland poem made me Was kind of put off when they said they wanted to make a dvd of dd

Sorry for the hijack

SteelMagnolias · 11/09/2011 20:35

Count me in as well.

PuzzleRocks · 11/09/2011 20:35

Claw3 · 11/09/2011 20:38

Addressbook, you posted in the SN section and got that reaction?

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