...to think that if one of your guests is pregnant, and a big feature of dinner is a huge, delicious-looking cheese plate...

[LoveInAColdClimate]

...at least one of those cheeses should be pasteurised? Had dinner with PIL (who are lovely and who I get on with really well, so this is not a general sniping thread) last night, which featured, as pudding, a big "proper cheese shop" cheese board, but no cheese I could eat. They know what I can have and what I can't, so this can't have been a mistake. I have been v spoilt at other friends' and family who have sought out yummy cheese I'm able to eat, so I know I'm v lucky. But when pregnant or no-cows'-milk friends come to ours for supper, I love sourcing cheese they can eat if I'm doing cheese as part of the meal. It just seemed a bit weird to make half the meal something I couldn't have. Am I being precious or is this odd, especially as the cheese had been specially bought and so one type I could eat could have been chucked in? Frankly a bit of cheddar would have been fine, I just felt really left out.

i is pregnant so i is speshul

i really dont know why you arent bowing down and genuflecting when i pass - did i tell you I AM PREGNANT so cant possibly be wrong, unreasonable or rude

please treat me accordingly speshully

Fred

Did they say "well we know DIL is pregnant and can't eat certain cheeses, so we will provide a plate of those said cheeses, just to annoy her?"

If not then YABVU

I dont think you are being precious at all... If you were vegetarian and invited to someones house for a meal and they served only meat, you wouldnt be able to eat it, everyone would say oh my god that is terrible, what awful shit head monsters you are related to, leave the bastards!
But as its pregnancy that is causing the issue everyone tells you to get over it.
IMO if you are invited to someones house for a meal, you should be able to eat when you get there... Surely?

OP is being a little unreasonable. However, as I adore cheese (and am also being careful as this is my first pregnancy) I know where she's coming from.

List of safe cheeses v useful - thank you, Pedigree!

YANBU

i had the same when i went to a friend's and i felt a bit crap. but forgive them cos it's a tiny thing.

and just because cheese is pasteurised DOES NOT mean it's ok to eat in pg.

I just can't believe the pil's almost succeeded in their dastardly plot! It's shocking the lengths they'll go to.

Am I the only one who finds the use of the term "sourcing" a tiny bit wanky and pretentious?

This thread reminds me of the idiot assistant in Sainsbury's who refused to sell cheddar cheese to a pregnant woman.

I was about to add what warthog has pointed out - its not necessarily to do with it being pasteurised. See here:

Cheese Advice

I need to eat cheese now. Think I might have to unpeel a whole ball of mozarella into my mouth. If I have celery on the side that's a balanced lunch, right?

kirsty yes you dr is wrong.

Thanks warthog - mostly I couldn't care less what people do or don't eat but ffs understand the reasoning for your decision

@Queenofdenial, Pedigreechump. Thanks for that... to me it looks like there might be disagreement amongst scientists, because the American Pregnancy Association

www.americanpregnancy.org/pregnancycomplications/listeria.html

seems to be saying that even blue cheeses are OK if pasteurised...

If cheese is pasteurised it is considerably less likely to be at risk, but if I have understood all the bumpf correctly you could still have a problem because the bacteria could develop after it has been pasteurised. (Which to me comes under the heading of trusting your food sources/heeding by use by dates and storing food correctly)

But that is true of absolutely any food source at all.

yabu - my mother cannot retain anything about off limits foods, particularly in relation to pregnancy, and i think this is likely to be a generational thing: they just ate whatever, everything was fine... (i mind her tendency to try and give cream cakes to lactose intolerant two year old far more). it's not like the whole dinner was inedible for you, though i do understand your gazing unhappily at a board of delicious cheeses you are not allowed to have... my post-pregnancy lunch is going to include gorgonzola piccante, let me tell you, washed down with lashings of alcohol (i'm currently thinking o'hara's ipa, but it'll be december, so might prefer a nice red by then...)

YABU. It's just cheese.

Oh fuciing eat the cheese and stop whingeing

You could have put any of the cheeses on a slice of bread, toasted it and eaten it piping hot...

I've just read this whole thread waiting for the cheese board description. TBH I've forgotten about the OPs issue, I just want to salivate over the selection

Am back and prepared to concede I may have been BU (although just to clarify did smile politely during dinner rather than throwing a fit) . I personally wouldn't serve a course that one of my guests couldn't eat (or I would offer at least as nice an alternative) but it seems others would. PIL do know what I can and can't have as they ring and ask for a list every time we're coming round (presumably in case guidelines have changed in last month ) and DH did point out (in polite manner) that the reason I couldn't have any was that it was all blue/runny unpasturised cheese (MIL had kept shop notes so I did check). For the cheese-o-philes, I'm afraid I didn't take full notes but the ones that caused especial pain were a yummy smelling Brie that was melting off the plate and some sort of gorgeous looking local blue cheese. I guess I could have grilled some but MIL would have insisted on doing it for me and I would have felt awkward (much better to come onto MN later and gripe .

For the record, I don't expect special treatment while pregnant, it's more that I just wouldn't serve food (knowingly) a guest couldn't eat for any reason. I would feel horrible tucking in while they nibbled a water biscuit and eyed up my cheese enviously...

And thanks to those who don't think I am BU!

Ooooh, I'm looking forward to some post-pregnancy cheese (although have found some lovely pasteurised Cornish Brie which I may have to start shoving in my handbag in case of dinner party emergencies!).

They were being unreasonable for not providing a chunk of Collier's on their cheeseboard.

yummmm.....

The thing is, it's not that you can't eat those cheeses, you just can't eat them the way they were served. Is it really that awkward to say, hey, can I just pop this under the grill for a couple minutes? I guess I'd say you're being a bit U for not taking an easy way to rectify the whole situation.

but if you really said 'I can't eat brie' why would they serve brie? that is odd.

maybe you could suggest they get you this for a new mum gift :

www.thecheeseworks.co.uk/cheese_gift_boxes_product.php?id=117

Dreaming - am drooling over that cheese box! As I said above, MIL would have insisted on grilling it for me and I would have felt bad that she was flapping about (as she would have done!). I will have to start carrying emergency cheese to avert cheese board awkwardness, I can see .