to think crying in work is just a bit weird?

[RedHotPokers]

I don't know what it is with the women people in my office. They just seem to cry an awful lot. I find it bizarre.

Recently my colleagues have cried for reasons including:

1. Someone being a bit 'off' with them on the phone
2. Losing some unsaved work on the PC
3. Feeling unappreciated
4. Being asked to take on an additional piece of work cos someone is off sick
5. Even because they left their purse at home would you believe!

Since when was it the done thing to run off to the toilets sobbing every time something a bit stressful happens.

I can honestly say I have never cried in work. If I have been a bit pissed off or stressed, I take it home with me (rightly or wrongly). I would be mortified at the thought of sitting weeping at my desk!

AIBU to think people should get a grip?

(And btw, my workplace is one of the least stressful I have EVER worked in. Think public sector admin, no threat of job losses currently, and very few people working past 5pm).

No it wasnt. It made perfect sense.

No Jareth, we've all felt like that. What I agree with the OP about is the habitual manipulative or truly unprofessional type of colleagues who cause unrest and chaos with their own uncontrolled emotional outbursts.

There's a time and place.

Yanbu. At work people tend to tiptoe round regular blubbers and 'allowances are made'.

I might be a hardened old cynic but it often looks like a control mechanism when deployed in the work place.

Otoh you can't expect to be taken too seriously if you keep crying at the smallest thing; I don't think it's too good for a career in the long run.

RedHotPokers, I understand where you are coming from and do agree to a point, however it is true that you don't know what is going on in peoples' lives.

I started a new job on Monday, and cried all the way to work, and had to run to the toilets once there several times to weep.

I am sure my new colleagues think I am a loon, but they don't know I lost my baby 19 weeks into my pregnancy 3 weeks ago, and was finding the first day back hard. I will tell them in time - I just thank God it was an inset day and no kids were in!

Give people the benefit of the doubt.

If anyone thinks us anti cryers are callous

you want to take a look a this www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2033853/Grieving-mother-told-stop-talking-dead-child-work-distracting.html

now that is fucking cold.

Just to say, I know this is AIBU, but I am not going to debate the way I feel about this story. I feel what I feel.

YABVVVVVU.

It's not the little thing that made them cry stoopid , it's the straw that broke the camel's back.

I hope I don't work with you

Oh that DM article is shocking :( :( :(

when I was being bullied at work I cried at a non break time in the staff room, however a male colleague told me that this had happened because of the same person several times before.

That is shocking, that article. I can't see how they ruled he didn't mean to cause her distress - what the fuck did he think was going to happen, that she was just going to go "Oh yes, I see your point, my DD is really causing the company to lose money, I'll just forget about her then". Idiots. When you think of some of the lawsuits that are successful, I'm quite surprised this one failed. :(

I worked in a call centre for a major telco some years ago. We were all under unreasonable amounts of pressure and some of the workers would turn on the tears because of frustration with the workplace or just plain bastard customers. The team leaders would let the cryer go out for 15 to 30 minutes e-time (unpaid break) to compose themselves and the rest of us would have to pick up the slack. On the one occasion in 5 years that I was a bit emotional at work my team leader asked why I wasn't coping and I choked up and told him that my daughter had just been diagnosed with cervical cancer. Yes, I subsequently did some reading and realised it wasn't the end of the world, but no parent wants to hear the word cancer with respect to their child! I was told to worry about that in my own time and get on with the job. There were definitely unwritten rules for females and different rules for males, and because it was such a horrid work environment a lot of the females milked it for all it was worth.

i have cried in work, it ws my first full time job since having both my children and suffering from bad PND. I thought i was ready to go back to work so me and DH swapped roles. I went to work, he stayed at home.

I cried alot of the time, mainly due to the work load. Being shown how to do something then getting told off for doing it that way. it got on top of me and i cried an awful lot. :( i had to leave for my own health :(

I used to think like you op. Then, my ds got cancer in her 30s, my df got terminal cancer, my dd was abused by another dc. You have no idea what's going on in those people's personal lives.

i cry about anything :( im an emotional wreck most days :(

It depends on the type of tears. There are some people for which crying is an attention thing - they crave drama and tears are just the unfortunate by-product.

Other people can't help crying but get hugely embarrassed by it, thinking it is a sign of weakness. If the situation warrants strong emotion, it is a sign of strength of character to be able to cry in public about it, I think.

I cried in the middle of a staff meeting last week- it was announced that a colleague would be off work for a bit, a colleague who I'm not in regular social contact with outside work, but who I have forged a strong bond with in work time (she is quite a bit older than me). I mouthed 'what's wrong?' to the woman she shares an office with, not expecting the answer I got, which was breast cancer. The shock itself choked me, and then the inability to escape the situation made it worse. I don't think anyone noticed but it was a very strange feeling, particularly not being able to find out how bad it was- pretty bad, but not necessarily life threatening.

That article is shocking MrsDeV - it's an exceptional situation and the company should have handled it so much better.

I have a colleague in a similar position and her strength inspires me and her grief makes me feel so helpless.

But I share an office with a tantrumming diva who tries (and usually succeeds) to get her own way with strops and tears (she's 59 btw). This is the kind of emotional outburst that's so wearing and stressful.

I can see both sides - ie some things (and a lot of examples given on this post) are worth crying over (death, bullying etc etc).
But I worked with an annoying drama queen who spent half the damn day in the toilets crying. was soooo annoying ! usually over her love life (which she told EVERYONE in the office about ) one day when I was having issues with pregnancy (scans were abnormal) but was early on, no one knew I was pg, she decided to whinge about her latest dating fiasco, ending with "I wish I had your problems." OK in her defence she had no idea I was going thru stress and was pg, but to say something like that really annoyed me. I made a point of avoiding her from then on. Apparently shes still there, and still annoying.

Just wanted to add that since my previous message i now have the opinion that i would rather work with someone who is likely to cry, rather that someone is moody, obnoxious and just plain rude (just wanted to get that off my chest).

I used to cry ALOT in one job, But i was bullied (one manager used to slam doors in my face if i was about to walk through them, she also told me four weeks before my wedding she didnt know if she could give me the leave as she had booked a holiday)