to think crying in work is just a bit weird?

[RedHotPokers]

I don't know what it is with the women people in my office. They just seem to cry an awful lot. I find it bizarre.

Recently my colleagues have cried for reasons including:

1. Someone being a bit 'off' with them on the phone
2. Losing some unsaved work on the PC
3. Feeling unappreciated
4. Being asked to take on an additional piece of work cos someone is off sick
5. Even because they left their purse at home would you believe!

Since when was it the done thing to run off to the toilets sobbing every time something a bit stressful happens.

I can honestly say I have never cried in work. If I have been a bit pissed off or stressed, I take it home with me (rightly or wrongly). I would be mortified at the thought of sitting weeping at my desk!

AIBU to think people should get a grip?

(And btw, my workplace is one of the least stressful I have EVER worked in. Think public sector admin, no threat of job losses currently, and very few people working past 5pm).

I cried at work when my fiancé left me 3m before the wedding. I used to ask to do the work in the little lab so I could be by myself and sit there sobbing if necessary. Not for long though.

I nearly cried when some doctor was being a complete bitch down the phone to me - got sent off to tea instead and when I came back, she phoned to apologise because she had the wrong patient name. I never cried about a phonecall from a doc again after that.

I cried at work when my Nan died.

I don't think I've ever cried at work for any of the reasons you've given - but in the end you don't know what levels of stress they are under, even the smallest trivial thing can push you over the edge sometimes - so YABU, just because you wouldn't do it, doesn't make it weird when others do.

I've worked in situations like that, Pokers. And agree, it's odd.

Some people are very thin skinned.

But then watch people on reality TV - they bawl at the drop of a hat.

I blame the parents. All that never leaving your baby to cry stuff.

I'm a former teacher. No matter what went on I did not cry at work. The children would have been very distressed if I had! Then again I have never worked in an office. And I cried at lot at home

I've cried at work twice - once when I was just informed that my grandfather had died. The other time when my supervisor was being made 'redundant' pretty much out of the blue. (Was pregnant at the time, which I guess is mitigating, but still felt very embarassed about it). Have changed jobs since and never cried in the office again.

I cried at work when I got fired. Both times. Is that allowed?

I have cried at work twice.

Once when pregnant and I was told by IT support that all of my reports that were stored on my hard drive had been wiped. I really don't know what came over me, but the guy on the other end of the phone couldn't hang up fast enough and I was very embarrassed.

The second time was when I was told that a toddler of a family I had been working with had been murdered. I make no apologies for crying like a baby.

I have cried at work a few times. When I was about 22, and stressed, and someone spoke harshly to me I went and cried in the loos. No-one knew. I have woken up and cried in the night about work stuff. I cried at my desk once when I was stressed about finding a new place to live and it was all going wrong, when I'd just moved to London. Also when my mum phoned me at work with the terrible news that my cousin had died in a plane crash.

Nowadays, I haven't cried about work stuff for ages and I feel far more stressed for it. I wish I could open up and talk about work sometimes and have a damned good cry. I have taught myself to lock it away (since I had kids mainly) and it's no good as it just spills over into anger and frustration, and mostly just a horrible tight-chested stressed feeling all the time and also has resulted in sleeplessness (hence the name) and depression.

So I think crying is generally a good thing. Luckily I'm leaving my job soon so will be much better.

same as snake on crack!!!!

a mean boss telling off results in tears in the loo, hate it HATE IT

but there's crying, and then there's crying, iyswim.

I've been in situations at work where I've wanted to cry. Where I had a boss so horrendous she told me I would never be promoted because I have a disability, who arranged a team lunch at a pub out of town and then told me I couldn't go because I had a guide dog and expecting anyone to take the dog in their car would be unfair, but she had specifically arranged the lunch to be out of town iyswim. I was 21 then and it hurt, deeply. But while I wanted to cry I A would never have given the bitch the satisfaction and B it would have IMO been unprofessional. But had I felt the need I would have taken myself off somewhere - or waited until I got home.

I think it's one thing to be overcome with emotion and go off somewhere and have a little cry, if that's your thing and you feel the need. It's quite another to constantly burst into tears in front of an audience and to then essentially just sit there crying.

I've cried once at work - when my mum helpfully called me in the ofice to tell me that my grandad had passed away. And that was in the loos.

People crying in a work environment makes me very uncomfortable. I work in a very teary team in a fairly high stress environment. Even my boss does it sometimes.

I understand that if someone is at the end of their rope then they might need to let it out, but why not go to an empty office or the loos? The crier tends to be embarrassed afterwards and colleagues are usually embarrassed by it too.

I used to work in an office where people cried all the time. It got on my bloody nerves.

I am not heartless. I am quite nice really.

It was a workplace culture thing, like bullying and gossiping.

Because a couple of people did it, it became sort of normal and it WAS bloody irritiating.

Crying because you are horribly stressed or have suffered a bereavement is something that you should never be ashamed of.

Crying because your computor doesnt work or because you are sure kathy from accounts doesnt like you - is attention seeking.

Its also not fair on the person in your office who is probably dealing with something horrible but is keeping it to themselves because they dont want to be seen as one of the 'criers'

I have only ever cried once at work- when I started to miscarry. Possibly my worst day at work ever actually.

I have cried twice at work. Once in my own office, blinds drawn. People knew, but it was obvious I was trying to be discreet. Once, less discreetly, when a relationship ended on the phone in the office. I feel less good about that, tbh. But on the whole I have been pretty even-keeled at work. It scares the men, otherwise.

Are the people pretending that the op is talking about people in horrible situations when she is clearly not, doing it on purpose?

Or because they havent read the OP properly?

NONE of the situations described is anything like losing a family member or being fired.

I would rather work with the OP than a bunch of colleagues who cry all the bloody time. In my line of work they wouldnt get anything done for sobbing over the poorly babies and disabled toddlers

Fat lot of good that would be.

Couldn't agree more, MrsDeVere.

Thanks mrsdevere. You have explained what I was trying to get at, just much more clearly.

My old supervisor would cry every time she was pulled up about something with our big boss. It was manipulation each time, the boss (a man) clearly felt as if he'd done something wrong and she would get to enjoy playing the victim. She was a bully herself so I had no sympathy for her.

Fair enough people crying when there's something sad/ difficult going on in your life. it can all just come pouring out - someone asks you how you are in a kind voice and you just break down.

That was for the first post, but it stands for the second that I x-posted with too

Either peoople are complete wusses or it's hysterical, competitive emoting. Working in an office like that is like living in an episode of Britain and Ireland's Next Top Model but with fatter contestants.

Some people are more emotional than others. Yes, it's a bit of an overreaction, it's not how you or I would deal with it, but each to their own, I guess. Sometimes if you've had a shitty day or you have other things going on in your life (that you haven't necessarily told everyone at work), a seemingly little thing can be the straw that breaks the camel's back iyswim.

I think it depends on the person and the situation.
I cried at work when the police phoned to say my dad was missing and they were worried about suicide

And the time I had to come back in to work after a really stressful hospital appointment where I was told life changing bad news .... I tried to hold it together but eventually went for a good sob in the loo

But IKWYM we have a colleague who switches on the waterworks every time she wants to get out of doing anything as she knows the male boss doesn't know how to cope with it. I used to give her the benefit of the doubt but I've seen how generally manipulative she is and it drives me nuts

I agree with the OP and Mrs DV.

I hate exhibitionistic over-emoting over Every Little Thing. Some women and men seem to consider it their sworn duty to personally counter the stereotype of Britons as people with overly stiff upper lips.

Oh, and you're not less of a woman if you don't cry, okay? Pull yourself together.

That was controversial post number 1! Brought to you by the number 1, in partnership with the colour purple.

Ever heard of 'the straw that broke the camels back' ?

I'm truely not one for 'patheticness' [is that a word?!] but sometimes there is other big stuff going on that no one else knows about, so the stupid, ridiculous things that appear to be bringing on the waterworks may not be the real reason.

I do get what people are saying here, but how are you to tell that that is really what they are crying over?

I once cried when my pen broke at work...yes my pen! I was mortified=so embarrassing!, it was just the tipping point of course, what I was really crying about was an awful situation out of work that I was having to be really strong about [you know how you do sometimes] Im sure some people thought I was pathetically irritating, maybe even attention seeking, thankfully I had a couple of collegues who knew what was going on so I had some support there.

I dunno, I always think of that and try not to be irritated by such displays....you never know the whole picture.