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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To make him walk to school

137 replies

Shinyshoes1 · 06/09/2011 08:51

I'm pissed off already and it's not even 9am. Angry

I said to my ds1 on Friday who is 14 years of age he is to find his Oyster card ready for back to school today. He hasnt found it and has said 'just stop my pocket money for 2 weeks and get another one' This is his bloody answer for everything and he must have had 8 last year if not more.

I know it's a hated phrase on here but I will use it anyway. These kids have a sense of entitlement that is astounding. I am trying to rectify this .

He rolls his eyes at me and has just screamed at me 'I've looked for it' He hasn't looked for it he's just lifted up a few items.

Sometimes I just wanna smack that attitude right from him.

I'm fucking furious that the 1st day back, nothing has changed and we are doing the ole lost Oyster routine.

He is just not bothered and knows full well I will replace it. He dont even care. So, AIBU to make him walk to and from school until it's found.

Its about 1 .5 miles and would take him around 20-25 minutes

OP posts:
Bellavita · 06/09/2011 08:53

I would make him walk

fivegomadindorset · 06/09/2011 08:55

Definitely make him walk until he finds the card or else has had a really good look. It is the only way he will learn. A 20-25 minute walk is nothing.

Illegitimate · 06/09/2011 08:57

20-25 minutes is nothing. Make him walk

aftereight · 06/09/2011 08:59

I would make him walk, every time he loses his oyster card, until it is time to buy a new one (weekly/monthly?). And I would make him responsible for physically buying it so he realises that the transaction is real money.
And, maybe being harsh here, but why doesn't he walk the 1.5 miles to school every day anyway, why does he need to use the tube? Does the journey on foot take him through a rough area? If not, i'd expect him to walk (Maybe not Nov-March in winter weather).

HeadfirstForHalos · 06/09/2011 08:59

Make him walk.

MrsRobertDuvall · 06/09/2011 08:59

Definitely make him walk.
Ds is 12, walks that distance every day to school despite having an Oyster card...he likes calling for his friends en route.
Is he like this with other things eg if something breaks, does he expect it to be replaced?

PhilipJFry · 06/09/2011 08:59

Let him go on foot! I agree with the others, that's a titchy walk. Once he realises he has to walk maybe it will show up.

olderyetwider · 06/09/2011 09:00

Yup, let him walk, and make him put in the effort to get a replacement.

I give our (fair bit younger) children an allowance each month, paid into their bank accounts. They have simple accounts with a cash/debit card. It is dependent on good effort and behaviour at school and being helpful and pleasant at home (there is a fines system if they don't stick to those basic rules)

They have to replace things they lose (school sweatshirts for example) from it, as well as topping up phones, buying magazines/make up/stuff they like/bus fares to friends houses etc. They are much more careful with things, and lovely to be with. I know it won't last but loving harmonious family life while it does!

DoMeDon · 06/09/2011 09:01

'He knows I'll buy another one' - that is your problem in a nutshell.

Make him walk - parent the attitude out of him.

olderyetwider · 06/09/2011 09:03

Oh, and I'd add in his fares to his allowance so it's his money he's putting on the card! He might opt to walk and use the money for something else

festi · 06/09/2011 09:04

should he be walking that journey anyway? my dd 5yrs walks that every day to and from school despite the availibilty of public transport.

StrandedBear · 06/09/2011 09:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

shewhowines · 06/09/2011 09:05

I think YABU if you DON"T MAKE HIM WALK.

mummytime · 06/09/2011 09:06

I totally agree with aftereight. My kids walk about 45 min each way, as they'd rather keep the money than pay for bus fares. That way we both win, I give them less than the bus fare, they get more money than they would otherwise, and they get the exercise.

whostolemyname · 06/09/2011 09:09

Definitely make him walk. And don't replace the card. He can walk every day until he finds it. 1.5 miles is nothing.

GypsyMoth · 06/09/2011 09:11

'parent the attitude out of him'

Not heard that before but I like it!!Grin

duchesse · 06/09/2011 09:12

Definitely make him walk!! He's bloody lucky to be able to get a free Oyster card in the first place and should respect it. Out here in the sticks he wouldn't be entitled to free bus travel unless he lived 3 miles from school. Walking for a few weeks might just focus his mind on looking after it.

(ps: are you sure he's not having it pinched at school? Sounds like the kind of annoying thing bullies might do)

Original poster
Shinyshoes1 · 06/09/2011 09:13

ok thanks, I fell awful but i'm sick of this, the first day in and he's starting this already.

Yes he is like this with everything else to the poster that asked this.
The Oyster is a free pass to those under 16. He doesn't get the tube, he gets a bus and no it's not through a rough area, it's a pretty straight route,

It's £10.00 for a replcement card , this is what he was having all last year. I'm actually very suprised there was no cap on how many replacements you can have.

I'm expecting a call later to ask if I can pick him up after school.

What if it's raining, I know he's not made of sugarpaper and won't melt but do I make him walk home in the rain??

OP posts:
Alibabaandthe80nappies · 06/09/2011 09:14

Definitely make him walk, I used to walk that distance to primary school, obviously not on my own but still.

It will do him good, and when it is pouring with rain his ability to find his Oyster card will miraculously improve.

GypsyMoth · 06/09/2011 09:14

I would!!

ConfessionsOfAnAchingMind · 06/09/2011 09:14

Tell him that my 3.5 year old walks to nursery everyday without complaint and it takes 40 mins.

If that should shut your 14 yr old up!

(I'd like to point out DS walks at his own pace with DH and doesn't walk home. We aren't that cruel!)

duchesse · 06/09/2011 09:14

As you say, he is not made of sugar. Rain will help him focus even more on WHY he has a bus card.

Alibabaandthe80nappies · 06/09/2011 09:15

He won't melt will he? Does he have a coat?

duchesse · 06/09/2011 09:15

confessions- I definitely had my oldest child walking 1.5 miles to school both ways at that age. He's a bloody strong walker now. They all are really.

fivegomadindorset · 06/09/2011 09:15

Buy him a coat and hat.