To make him walk to school

[Shinyshoes1]

I'm pissed off already and it's not even 9am.

I said to my ds1 on Friday who is 14 years of age he is to find his Oyster card ready for back to school today. He hasnt found it and has said 'just stop my pocket money for 2 weeks and get another one' This is his bloody answer for everything and he must have had 8 last year if not more.

I know it's a hated phrase on here but I will use it anyway. These kids have a sense of entitlement that is astounding. I am trying to rectify this .

He rolls his eyes at me and has just screamed at me 'I've looked for it' He hasn't looked for it he's just lifted up a few items.

Sometimes I just wanna smack that attitude right from him.

I'm fucking furious that the 1st day back, nothing has changed and we are doing the ole lost Oyster routine.

He is just not bothered and knows full well I will replace it. He dont even care. So, AIBU to make him walk to and from school until it's found.

Its about 1 .5 miles and would take him around 20-25 minutes

Blimey it's only 1.5 miles,I wouldn't have given him an oyster card in the first place! Once he's found his Oystercard, tell him that for a trial period you're going to keep it safe and that when he needs it he has to come and ask you for it - and then give it to you when he's back home. And that when he thinks he's ready to be responsible with it, he can have it back full time.

Work out how much you spend on him per month, one offs like the new mobile as well. Then add it to the cost of food, rent and bills that he will have to pay in a few short years. How much will he need to earn to keep himself in the manner to which you have accustomed him.

And then ask yourself if you are doing him any favours.

Do not give him a lift under any circumstances! Not even if you are driving past the school at 3.15.
If you give in now you will never gain their respect. If you hand out a punishment you have to stick to it otherwise there really is no point.

It sounds like both boys are walking all over you. It will only get worse as they get older if you allow it to continue.

Be strong!

Am I the only person here that thinks it's easy to lose an Oyster card and has tons of them laying around?

What - you buy him sweets, toiletries, clothes and phone contract and he gets pocket and treat money on top of all that ??

You are not helping your DS to learn any sort of independence (financial or otherwise).

You need to toughen up - do you have particularly high income ?

My 10 year old only gets £1 a week and has to save up if he wants a can of lynx or anything for that matter .

No we are not of high income but we are not on the breadline.

I have sent him a text saying I wont be picking him up .

No wonder he is taking the piss if you let him get used to taking a bus for such short a walk. Are you breathing money? Let him walk. Good for his health too.

I would suggest you develop a tactic to not lose the oyster card - my dd lost her bus pass in the first term of school (with two weeks to go) at 150 pounds she was devastated and we brought a dog clip on a chain and punched a hole in the bus pass and the dog clip is attached to her school bag.

Yes people lose things but to constantly lose the same item is not using your brain to develop a way to combat this and try to keep it safe

Of course you shouldn't pick him up.

It's hardly like you're making him climb everest in his underpants is it? It's 1½ miles and he's 14!!

Stay strong ShinyShoes

like they say NO is a complete sentence

Can I have a lift?
NO
Can I have a new bike?
NO
Can I have an Xbox
NO

let them get used to hearing it

Can I have a lift?
If you pay
Can I have a new bike?
If you pay
Can I have an Xbox
If you pay

alternative answers if you get bored with NO

They have no idea what the value of money is. The only way fir this to change is for them to earn their money. If they don't do the job they don't get it. If they want something big then they need to save their money.