Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to ask if your DH/DP is the love of your life?

250 replies

KittyFane · 02/09/2011 20:44

That's all! :o

OP posts:
Empusa · 04/09/2011 22:03

Yes, wouldn't have married him otherwise

naughtaless · 04/09/2011 22:11

I don't know.

minxofmancunia · 04/09/2011 22:18

No, I don't believe in "the one" or soulmates. When I met him I thought we were a perfect fit but the rigours and stresses of life have made me realise he's not. I love him but this marriage and having kids has chnaged the dynamic of our relationship forever....and not in a good way Sad.

I sometimes think me ex was "the one" because I was so giddily obssessed with him, but that was a combo of 17 year old lust and fascination and being so depressed and lonely i clung on to anyone who was nice to me.

If I was to be single again I would never live with a man, never commit myself to just one person and never compromise. I don't think any man could come near the love I have for my children.

ReindeerBollocks · 04/09/2011 22:30

DH is absolutely the love of my life. I can live without him, and I would cope, but I enjoy sharing my life with him and I look forward to our future together.

I have been in long term relationships previously and have never felt this way about someone. I have no guarantee of our marriage lasting, we are just like any other couple, but my feelings are overwhelming strong and I would be heartbroken if we separated.

My children are different loves of my life. I expect to grow old with them in my life, but I'm only sharing their life in such a major way until they become independent people with partners of their own. I will always be their mother, but my role in their life will change (I am so not looking forward to my gorgeous little ones being adults and leaving the home). I am sharing my life with my husband and hope to do so for the rest of my life.

LDNmummy · 04/09/2011 22:38

Yes, there have been times when I thought we wouldn't make it but then I only have to think about him not being around now to want to cry (yes very mushy).

I really want him to be in my life forever and couldn't think myself luckier.

rubyrubyruby · 04/09/2011 22:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PumpkinBones · 04/09/2011 22:54

Nope. Christ knows what we will do when one of us points it out.

theginganinja · 04/09/2011 23:03

I think The Armadillo summed it up perfectly for me. I don't really believe in soulmates or 'the one'. I think that Disneyfied shit has a lot to answer for btw, I think it keeps a lot of women tied to men that are unsuitable.

There's been a few men who've (probably) qualified for 'love of my life' in the past (what can I say, I've been around the block a bit) but, I don't regret that we're not together anymore, or pine for them. I learned a great deal from each of them, even the one who didn't treat me with the respect I deserve.

I love my dh dearly, he does treat me with a great deal of respect and it's reciprocated. I am not particularly worried about our future because I am enjoying the here and now with him. Our shared experience, not to mention sense of humour and values bind us together at this present moment in time. Of course, he's quite sexy too, which helps Grin

Fatshionista · 04/09/2011 23:10

Yes. Si. In every language.

He is my one. He is flawed deeply but I love him with all of my heart and as a family unit, they are my ones, my constants. I accept him for all that he is and he accepts me and still tries to shag me with no make up on in unflatteribg joggers with bleach on me.

A good man.

TheTamingOfTheShrew · 04/09/2011 23:23

This thread has made me crumble.

PumpkinBones · 04/09/2011 23:26

Crumble in a good way?

M0naLisa · 05/09/2011 01:01

Yes he is. I am so thankful that I mey jim when I did. I live him so much Grin

ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 05/09/2011 01:04

No, we can't stand each other tbh.

TheTamingOfTheShrew · 05/09/2011 23:22

Most definately, Pumpkin.

Original poster
KittyFane · 06/09/2011 19:58

Muffin- no, not wrong.

OP posts:
monkeyfacegrace · 06/09/2011 20:18

No. My ex-H is. But he didnt love me, never did. I had such an awful time with him.

My DH now is wonderful, kind, loyal, just 100% perfect and we will be together forever and I love him so so much, I really do. I couldnt survive without him, he is my rock.

But I still long for my ex-H.

Fuck.

BuntyPenfold · 06/09/2011 21:33

Yes, and I know how lucky I am.

begonyabampot · 06/09/2011 21:46

Muffin, think I'm with you on that.

stitchthis · 06/09/2011 21:47

My mother said DH was a lovely man. And when push comes to shove he is. We've been togetHr for over 20 years now and there have been some very rocky patches but I love him. He's mine.

Stocket · 06/09/2011 22:08

No, this is the only place I ever admit it, to anyone.

Quite what the bloody hell I'm going to do about it I don't know. I don't even know where to start...

yummymummy84 · 08/09/2011 12:57

nope

ElizabethDarcy · 08/09/2011 13:10

Yes :)

fourkids · 08/09/2011 13:26

muffinmonster, I used to feel like that. I guess I didn't really believe all that 'love of your live', 'the one', 'soulmate' nonsense. it didn't matter though, because I didn't need anyone except DCs...

Then, one random day, I met DH and we loved each other. instantly. And I realised that all those cliches, and others like 'two pieces of a jigsaw' were actually possible.

I do remember life before DH though, and I absolutely accept that if a person hasn't literally fallen in love with their solumate at first sight, they will think it's all twaddle :)

I read some research once, which reckoned that about one in ten of us meet our soulmate. TBH I can't remember how the study was conducted (and it would have to be a bit subjective, wouldn't it?!), but if I think about all the people I know, I reckon that's probably about right. DH and I constantly feel very lucky.

Jacaqueen · 09/09/2011 11:19

NO

I do love and admire him but he is not my soulmate. He is hardworking and thoroughly nice but he does not 'get' me. Not sure anyone ever has to be honest.

I knew I was settling when I agreed to marry him 20 years ago. As someone up the thread said, I traded passion and adventure for love and security. It was definately a mistake. A life half lived, and all that.

CurrySpice · 09/09/2011 11:24

This thread is a rollercoaster of highs and lows!