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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to ask if your DH/DP is the love of your life?

250 replies

KittyFane · 02/09/2011 20:44

That's all! :o

OP posts:
PerryCombover · 03/09/2011 00:01

I don't know I hope I haven't lived my entire life yet

Henrythehappyhelicopter · 03/09/2011 00:02

After twenty years of marriage the answer was yes, but after 28 years it is wearing a bit thin.

I can live with the snoring, but the Victor Meldew disposition is grinding me down.

Fo0ffyShmoofer · 03/09/2011 00:04

Yes absolutely.

spookshowangellovesit · 03/09/2011 00:10

if you had asked me that 5 years ago then yes dh would have been but then we broke up and now new man who is fantastically amazing etc and love him so much bla bla bla so was dh the love of my life that went wrong or is dp the love of my life. or am i lucky that i have been in love twice?

MrsBonkers · 03/09/2011 00:12

No.
I love him, we're married and he's the father of DD, but I know I could be happier with someone else :(

keepontrukkin · 03/09/2011 00:16

Brick, I still rip at his clothes & demand he takes me there and then; but when he does, my mind is on someone else.

Sigh...

CheerfulYank · 03/09/2011 00:45

Yes.

I think there are a lot of people I could have been with and been happy, but over time DH has become The One because he is DS' father and we've been through tragedies together, and huge horrible fights, and just a billion ordinary moments.

I love him.

wineandroses · 03/09/2011 00:56

I thought a previous boy was the love of my life, then another boy was the lust of my life, but when I met DH, oh my, he really got me, even more than my family did. He was (and is) the funniest man, with a lovely gentle humour. He is kind and generous, he is a fabulous father (and I speak as someone who regards my own father as a model for fathers everywhere) and I still want to bite his delicious bum. He is my love, and after 20 years, will always be so.

Morloth · 03/09/2011 01:13

Yes.

We are like peas in a pod.

I think the moment I really knew that it was all exactly right was at around 3am in a emergency ward with our baby.

I knew right then that I could always count on him to be next to me when I needed him and vice versa. The stuff we have had done/gone through together has just tightened the bonds.

It isn't all crazy passion any more, obviously when you are busy with kids and jobs etc things are not like that as much, but we are together.

It is morning here and he is on his laptop with one DS draped over his shoulders and the other snuggled on his lap. They are watching something nerdy. As far as men go, I don't think it gets any better.

StonedRosie · 03/09/2011 01:32

No. Wish he was but he isn't.
I do love him, just not in the way I've loved others. Reckon I got tired. I was thirty and needed a rest.
He is, however, my very best friend, he would never let me down. I hope I never let him down.

ChildofIsis · 03/09/2011 01:43

Mine was until he dumped me this morning for someone else.
So much for 28 yrs together.

midlandsmumof4 · 03/09/2011 01:45

No Sad........We celebrated our silver wedding last year but have been together for 32 years. I love him totally though and couldn't imagine life without him although he has cheated on me in the past. Love of my life is lost.........

midlandsmumof4 · 03/09/2011 01:48

Oh Child.....that's sad,so sorry. Know how you feel though. It's early days..Sad.

Gonzo33 · 03/09/2011 06:06

No, I married my husband for his non existant money. Love of my life really but I wouldn't want his head to big Grin

FemaleYouNicked · 03/09/2011 06:26

No and i constantly wonder and what is the price of settling and whether i've settled and should suck it up or am i miserable enough to justify leaving and hurting everyone.

mumeeee · 03/09/2011 07:09

Yes. It will be our 27th anniversary in a couple of weeks. We still really love each other and I wouldn't be with out him.

ThePosieParker · 03/09/2011 07:28

No.

Original poster
KittyFane · 03/09/2011 09:14

Yes.. Love of my life is lost too...:)

OP posts:
Fuzzled · 03/09/2011 09:26

Yes.
Met through mutual friends in the pub.
Knew within about 10 minutes of talking to him.
Took me about 4 weeks (Christmas got in the way, oh and I was seeing a mate of his! Blush ) to get my man. Grin
We've been inseparable ever since.

Jezabelle · 03/09/2011 09:28

Child that's awful, hope you're ok.

marriedinwhite · 03/09/2011 09:30

He wasn't my grand passion but he is the love of my life and has been for 23 years. I'm very glad I have DH. I met the grand passion unexpectedly in a local shop and realised how lucky I was with the way things turned out.

TaudrieTattoo · 03/09/2011 09:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Continuum · 03/09/2011 10:12

Absolutely!

And he is, not because of some romanticised idea of love or holding on to things from the early days, but because he has always been there over the years, because he's a wonderful dad, because of all the times we've laughed or he's held me or he's been on my side, because he's worked on his flaws (as have I). I fancy him more now than I ever did, I ache for him more now than I ever did, all these things grow year on year and he's completely my favourite person ever to hang out with.

Yes, I could quite easily make myself vomit nevermind other people!

But I believe the love of one's life is a safe, warm, happy place and that it needs tending on both sides to grow. We weren't always like this, we were just two broken people, but we both strived for this and I do hope we can survive challenges ahead as well as we've survived those already past.

lazarusb · 03/09/2011 10:15

ChildofIsis- how are you doing? 28 years is such a long time Sad

OP- DH says that I am the one and he has known it from the moment we met.
I was more sceptical having been through some horrendous relationships but...there was a moment on the first night we met when I was overwhelmed - excited and terrified at the same time, it was so intense. 16 years on and he still excites me Wink, makes me happy, makes me feel loved and is my rock. He's a fabulous dad too, not only to ours but to my ds too.

However...I would never want to be first on his list above the dcs. I think they should always come first. We would both survive if we split but I don't think I would look for another relationship as I don't believe anyone else could be so 'right' for me in every way. Smile I realise I'm incredibly lucky. My life wouldn't be going in the direction it is if it wasn't for his support.

Alibabaandthe80nappies · 03/09/2011 10:24

Continuum - what a lovely post, and I agree with so much of what you have said.