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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to ask if your DH/DP is the love of your life?

250 replies

KittyFane · 02/09/2011 20:44

That's all! :o

OP posts:
sjuperwolef · 02/09/2011 22:11

he never meant to fall in love with me, he loved the thrill of the chase but never expected anything to come of it :) he's absolutely doted on me now god love him Grin

supadupapupascupa · 02/09/2011 22:13

yes Smile

i've loved others, in different ways, but this is different and the most wonderful, equal and deepest love i have had.

Jezabelle · 02/09/2011 22:14

At the moment I would say yes, and I feel lucky every day. Not trying to be cliched here, and I don't just mean having DH makes me feel lucky, but our 2 DDs too. I genuinly feel lucky so much of the time because I know anything can change, I've been through enough to know that and it does make me appreciate what I have.

If we're still together and happy in 50 years then the answer is an absolute yes and I think that will happen, but who knows for sure. . . ? If he left me in 6 months I'd be devestated, but I'd get on with my life, bring up my girls and may well in time meet someone else and fall in love all over again.

Sorry, just rambling now!

InnocentRedhead · 02/09/2011 22:15

Well 'Forum police' made me laugh...
She is asking if she is being unreasonable to ask such a personal question which some people may not want to answer, or not want to confront in their own minds. If you get so upset and tetchy about something you see that you think is in the wrong forum, leave the thread and if you feel you need to, hide it from your lists....

And if you must ask DP is the love of my life :) We understand each other, we are best friends and that to me is all that matters in creating a steady home :o

Ephiny · 02/09/2011 22:16

I think it depends what you mean by 'the one'. I think DP is 'the one', as in, the one I hope to be with for the rest of my/his life, and I can't imagine wanting anyone else. I don't think anyone else will ever be able to replace him now.

But if I'd never met him, I might well have met someone else, and he/she might have become my 'one'. If that makes sense...

Original poster
KittyFane · 02/09/2011 22:17

Innocent ;)

OP posts:
usualsuspect · 02/09/2011 22:17

InnocentRedhead ,who made you the thread police?

Original poster
KittyFane · 02/09/2011 22:17
Wink
OP posts:
Ephiny · 02/09/2011 22:18

I do think it would be a bit silly to believe there's one 'special' person in the entire world who's 'meant' for you - I don't think that's what most people mean when they talk about 'the one'. Hope not anyway.

I don't know why this is in AIBU either though. Why do people keep asking if they're unreasonable to ask a question, instead of just asking the question? Because it's the question they want (and get) answers to, not whether they were U to ask it...

Original poster
KittyFane · 02/09/2011 22:19

Usual!.. Is your DP the love if your life?!! Answer the question! :o

OP posts:
TheDreamWeaver · 02/09/2011 22:21

No. Not by a long way.

SORT of the same question....I wanna know if you have found the greatest love of your life after having kids? Did "love" change for you after becoming a parent?

My Childrens' father was my greatest love, and I was his, but it didn't work out because he was selfish and juvenile, my kids deserved better than I'd been willing to put up with.

But I've just never thought I would ever feel that way about any other man since having dcs

Anyone else?

janedoe25 · 02/09/2011 22:22

Totally, he is my Lobster! I will become his wife in 10 weeks time, I still can't believe I am marrying my best friend!

rubyrubyruby · 02/09/2011 22:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
KittyFane · 02/09/2011 22:26

It could be seen by some as an unreasonable question to ask...
and not something people always want to admit to...
If you have a DH or DP, some may say that they should be the love of your life - otherwise, why are you with them?

Maybe this question should be in DIA (Dare I ask).

OP posts:
Original poster
KittyFane · 02/09/2011 22:28

ruby - I often think that but I may just get a shock....:(

OP posts:
Tiredmumno1 · 02/09/2011 22:30

Well others are answering so it cant be that much of an unreasonable question

TheGashlycrumbTinies · 02/09/2011 22:36

Completely.

chickydoo · 02/09/2011 22:38

100% and still strong after 20 yeas

InnocentRedhead · 02/09/2011 22:39

My hat from Ann Summers qualifies me to be the 'Thread Police' usual ;)

You raise a good point kitty but I think that Mr(or Miss) Right-For-Now (as long as you are willing to accept that yourself) is perfect until that right now passes. Some people may be with those who they want to raise a family with, but when that time has passed, they may not be the person you want to grow old with. And if I am honest, you should be selfish after children have being raised, and if everything can remain amicable, then why not?

Sad to hear that you don't feel you are with the one though :( but do you feel he is right for now? So yeah I suppose the one (for some people this is contradictory) but there is so many billions of people out there, how can there only be one for you, what if you hadn't met your other half?

iceandsliceplease · 02/09/2011 22:47

DP is the one I love, he keeps me going, guides me, is good to me.

But he's not the love of my life. He is the Good Man, the father of my children. I love him, I don't want to be without him.

But he's never really 'got' me.

Having a clear out of stuff earlier this week and came across old letters from 'The One'. Felt like I'd been punched in the chest. He did love me, far more than I'd realised.

rhondajean · 02/09/2011 22:48

Got to join in!

He absolutely is - he is the only person in my entire life who has loved me just the way I am and forgiven me everything, even when I have been truly awful or horrible to him.

Even if it did take me years to realise how much I adore him. Id do anything for him.

GreenEyesandNiceHam · 02/09/2011 22:49

I don't call him 'my current husband' for nothing.

usualsuspect · 02/09/2011 22:49

He will do

rubyrubyruby · 02/09/2011 22:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

singingsoprano · 02/09/2011 22:53

Yes, and has been for the past 29 years :)