To find it unsettling that mum's still threaten to smack childrens bums in public?

[kitya]

Ive just been to the nail parlour and this perfectly nice mum in her early twenties told her daughter that if she didnt sit still she would pull her knickers down and smack her bum. I thought that went out with the 70's? I didnt know where to look. She was telling me about starting uni and everything but, I couldnt concentrate and what she was saying after that.

Hummel do you think you could have found another way to teach your DS that he had pushed you too far?

He knew, he had pushed me too far, he did not receive a smack. I normally talk him down and out of a situation, if I failed to do that, I reserve the right to issue an (albeit empty threat)
I hate lilly llivered nonsense, and wonder if we are not rearing the rioters of tomorrow, with child centric crap that goes on.

BTW, I am not an advocate of smacking.

YANBU, I saw a woman do exactly this in Tesco one day - I told her she was giving the pervs a field day and what was she thinking? Her DD was 9 or 10 too, old enough for it to have been really humiliating and utterly inappropriate.
On second thoughts, she was clearly not thinking at all.

oh no not this again . Nothing shocking, it happens

The choice is not between non smacked children and child rioters I think the child rioters have parents in the main who just don't give a damn smackers or not. One parent on the radio this morning of an 11 year old tearaway involved in the riots was blaming the father's influence. He was staying with the father who didn't care that his 11 year old was out in the middle of the night. I think she had a point but probably not as simple as that.

Its a shame that it doesnt go on a bit more IMO (not the knickers down part by the way).

Exactly Piglet, can't bear the mock indignation about the whole thing. Its the new breastfeeding debate it would seem

Pulling down a childs underpants and smacking them on the bottom in public (or anywhere) is vile. So many are up in arms for public caning and lashes, what makes this any different. The child is naughty you can deal with it in a child appropraite way, not in a violent and humilating way.

I threaten to beat my children all the time. In fact I regually say your not too young to go over my knee for a good beating. Doesn't mean I've ever hit my children. In fact it's usually said in jest.

My mum would never have pulled my pants down in public but she certainly would have at home and given me a good hiding
Ds are kind of fast outgrowing the smack threat now and just roll their eyes, it used to work though.

I know, 3 main topics that go over and over again: smacking, bf vs ff debates, and IL's. Its not new, don't be too shocked.

My Mum said the exact same thing to me including the pulling the knickers down bit. In a crowded bus station as we had come out of a shop where she had misinterpreted a comment I had made.

I was thirteen years old and totally believed that she might do it. I wasn't a stroppy child and wouldn't have run away or attempted to stop her if she had.

It is never acceptable to threaten to humiliate someone you are in a position of power over.

I tell DS 7yo if his bottoms on the chair I can't smack his bum.

I don't generally smack DS, never really needed too and I'm not a great fan of it - although it never did me any harm. (80's child fwiw!)

BUT I do expect him to do as he is told - and if that's sitting down being bored for a few minutes 1/2 hour than tough.

How old was the DD? and why was the Mums age necessary to state?

Is it the smacking or the 'in public' bit that offends you so much OP?

What I CANNOT stand is people who drastically change their disciplining just because other people are in ear shot. If you normally give your DCs a light smack if they are incredibly naughty, then you should do it at home or when out.

One thing that always confuses me is the emphasis on smacking rather than any other physical punishment. I have friends who decry smacking, claim that its the worst thing a parent can do, and then drag their DCs kicking and screaming by their wrist if a tantrum kicks off. I am as to why smacking is wrong, but harsh manhandling isn't.

Btw, if it wasn't obvious, I have smacked my DCs. Very rarely, but find the threat of it suffices in most situations.

There was a smacking thread on here not so long ago whereby this posters father had pulled her pants down and smacked her, only she was 15 and on her period

Fucking hell pigletmania!

I think that what makes me most uncomfortable with this is the pulling the pants down bit. I think that to humiliate a child by baring their nether regions where strangers may see is totally uneccessary.

All it 'teaches' a child is that the person doing it has no respect for their body.

Never mind no respect for their body madameboo, they have no respect for them full stop. I actually think this is a disgusting thing to do.

I remember my Mum doing it to me, in C&A in Birmingham. I must have been only about 5. I remember the humiliation of it to this day - but can I remember what I did wrong? Nope. She never did it to me again ( and in her defence she was going through a horrendous divorce and had been put on some heavy tranquilisers which prob weren't doing the balance of her brain much good- they used to hand them out like sweets in the 70's).

I dont agree at all with the pulling down of knickers especially in public, id have though smacking a child on the bottom with pants on would be sufficient punishment in itself. I believe smacking can work for small children, it worked for mine, im a 60's child and it definitely worked for me.

Attempting to smack a grown child of 15yrs is ridiculous, this even amounts to sexual abuse in my opinion, why in the world would a father need to pull his 15yr old daughters pants down to then lay his hands on her bum ? That is shocking, id feel totally violated. Poor poor child

YANBU

Why would you hit a child, seriously why would you ever be physically violent towards your child?

I always threaten to beat my children
they ask
!"Mummy will you beat my/our bum/s? Tee Hee
I say
Mmmhmm
Like a big bass drum

They have never been smacked, ever

I had an awful conversation with a mum in the children's ward when DS1 was in this Spring. She told me that whenever her lo bit another child she bit him back, 'to show him how much it hurt'. Except she told me she felt she should probably stop when she realised he had bite marks up his arms.

I actually didn't know what to say. Two nights of no sleep and that bombshell left me dumbfounded.

PerryCombover were you aiming for a poem? That's an awesomely poetic post.