Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To find it unsettling that mum's still threaten to smack childrens bums in public?

358 replies

kitya · 31/08/2011 19:24

Ive just been to the nail parlour and this perfectly nice mum in her early twenties told her daughter that if she didnt sit still she would pull her knickers down and smack her bum. I thought that went out with the 70's? I didnt know where to look. She was telling me about starting uni and everything but, I couldnt concentrate and what she was saying after that.

OP posts:
RebelFromTheWaistDown · 01/09/2011 21:15

My teen DD was shocked into submission when I threatened to smash her face in for speaking to me like something on the bottom of her shoe. I do not hit my kids.

I do feel for those parents who do get pushed. Some kids are awful. I honestly don't know WHAT I would have done if DD had continued her rebellion!

Thank god!

BimboNo5 · 01/09/2011 21:18

when I threatened to smash her face in

Thats far worse than giving a child a tap on the arse IMHO

Moulesfrites · 01/09/2011 21:21

Interesting thread!!

I have a friend on fb who has just written on that her dd has bitten her. I am shocked as at least 6 people have commented telling her to bit her dd back, that they did this with their kids and it worked??!!

I had no idea this way of thinking was so widespread.

skinnymuffin · 01/09/2011 21:38

It's the pulling down of knickers part that I can't understand.
WHY would you do that as a punishment? Wtf is that about?

RebelFromTheWaistDown · 01/09/2011 21:43

If only I had consulted mn before threatening to smash DD's face in. Giving her a tap on the arse didn't occur to me! Not sure if it would have been so effective though Hmm

StarlightMcKenzie · 01/09/2011 21:45

I find it unsettling that mums go to nail parlours. My ds might get an ocassional smack, but I'm not afraid of climbing the rocks with him at the seaside, playing with playdough or teaching him the violin Wink

spiderpig8 · 01/09/2011 21:46

skinny-makes it sting more.Don't think they would hardly feel a smack through loose clothing

WhiffOfBath · 01/09/2011 21:49

If you really think the plural of mum is mum's, surely you should think the plural of bum is bum's, OP?

skinnymuffin · 01/09/2011 22:13

I think you feel a smack sufficiently well through clothing for it to make it's point.

Removing underwear before a smack is hard to view as another level of punishment, more an unsettling departure into a very nasty kind of humiliation.

maypole1 · 01/09/2011 22:33

A fair few of those looters could of done with a smacked bum when they were younger

We might not be were we are now with children squaring up to adults

Saggyoldclothcatpuss · 01/09/2011 23:44

If kids today even thought that anyone was capable of doing this to them, there might not be this plague of obnoxious young people who think that they are totally untouchable and have a total lack of respect for anybody!

HereBeBolloX · 02/09/2011 00:00

LOL at the primitive idea that if only you hit children, they will grow up to be law abiding members of society.

I somehow don't think the majority of rioters came from homes where a well thought out, non-violent positive parenting strategy was in place.

The idea that the reason they rioted was because their parents didn't beat them enough, is hilarious. I very much doubt if research would bear that out.

I'm going to start hitting my children tomorrow, in order to guarantee social order in 2024.

I urge you all to do the same - we owe it to sport shoe retailers of the future.

Dorje · 02/09/2011 00:10

I can't believe so many people hit their precious children.
They're people too, and have rights!

Absolutely shocked that the children are stripped down too. I can't believe people would even think this is acceptable.

Guess who's going to put you in a home when you begin to smell? Revenge is sweet I suppose.....

A1980 · 02/09/2011 00:13

YABU

It's the threats and smacks you don't see in public you need to worry about

maypole1 · 02/09/2011 00:19

A1980 amen I would be more worried about people who pretend not to smack and do it in secret

That fact that all these winers have never ran to a phone box to ring the police then and their when some child got a smack because they Pulled down the baked bean display in tesco or some such things leads me to believe these people are just wind bags if you REALLY thought it was assault you would of called the police

Saggyoldclothcatpuss · 02/09/2011 00:46

LOL at the primitive idea that if only you hit children, they will grow up to be law abiding members of society
I wrote this: If kids today even thought that anyone was capable of doing this to them, there might not be this plague of obnoxious young people who think that they are totally untouchable and have a total lack of respect for anybody! and I stand by it, primitive or not! And Nowhere did I say that hitting is the only answer.
Parents cant smack, teachers have absolutely no way of disciplining their pupils. Kids today are taught that there is no discipline. If you touch me, Ill get you arrested. If I kick the crap out of that pensioner, nothing will happen to me as Im a minor.
Im not saying that children should be beaten, smacked or touched in any way. But the threat has been removed. I have rarely smacked my kids. They are the most precious things in my life. But I have, on occasion. Usually to avert a dangerous situation. They know that it could happen. The point is, in banning smacking, the slipper in school etc, the threat has been removed. There is nothing for kids to fear, and one of the major tools of teaching kids good behaviour, which has been effective since the dawn of time, ie: cautionary tales, has been removed.
My beloved stepdad used to fold his belt in half and snap it. He had my DB and I convinced that he would use it. He never did. The threat was enough! We didnt live in fear. But we had respect for consequences of our actions!

festi · 02/09/2011 00:54

as a child of 70's my mum would say come here while I smack you she never did but would just calmly hold our arms and talk to us whilstb we held our bums and dam well listened to her. my mum never smacked us but I always thought she might just this time If I dont do as im told.

I threaten to smack dd but never have, fear of punihment is not a bad thing.

HereBeBolloX · 02/09/2011 01:06

If your kid brings down a display of beans in Tesco's, then s/he is obviously not old enough to be let out of the buggy/ off the reins and it's your fault for not supervising them properly, not their's for not understanding that running against a supermarket display might cause an accident.

If you want your kids to fear you, that's up to you, but I don't believe that fear is a necessary part of parenting. It's better if children do the right thing because it's the right thing, not because they're scared of the consequences if they don't.

startail · 02/09/2011 01:20

Sorry non of your business how I or any one else disciplines their child.
The important thing is that the child grows up with clear boundaries and but still knows it can tap into a bottomless supply of love.

HereBeBolloX · 02/09/2011 01:24

I know it's none of my business startail.

I said: "If you want your kids to fear you, that's up to you"

That's up to you means that I acknowledge it's none of my business, I don't care if you hit your child.

I'm just somewhat amused at being told that if I don't hit mine, they'll end up rioting. Grin

Saggyoldclothcatpuss · 02/09/2011 01:41

I dont want my kids to fear me, I want kids to have respect for the consequences of their actions. Thats what punishment is. The consequence of bad behaviour.
Nowadays the consequence of bad behaviour seems to be a hug and a nice chat about it! Whoop de do!

SouthernFriedTofu · 02/09/2011 03:18

I don't think people should smack their children, personal experience says that the ones who are happy to admit it in public don't usually have anything to hide though. SO while I don't like itI try not get worked up about it. It's the really horrible mothers and fathers who give that I'm going ot fucking kill you when no one is lokking look that send shivers down my spine

anniebee · 02/09/2011 03:23

I had no form of control in the airport.If I hadn't had everybody staring at me I would have smacked him! I wish I had done down because my four year olds behaviour was completely unexcepptable x

Animation · 02/09/2011 03:47

"Removing underwear before a smack is hard to view as another level of punishment, more an unsettling departure into a very nasty kind of humiliation."

Yes - a nasty level of humiliation.

Level one humiliation - threaten to smack
Level two humiliation - smack
Level three humiliation - smack in public
Level humiliation nasty - pull pants down and smack bare bum ...

CheerfulYank · 02/09/2011 03:53

HereBeBollox I have seen a seven year old bring a display crashing down in a shop. On purpose.

Swipe left for the next trending thread