Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To find it unsettling that mum's still threaten to smack childrens bums in public?

358 replies

kitya · 31/08/2011 19:24

Ive just been to the nail parlour and this perfectly nice mum in her early twenties told her daughter that if she didnt sit still she would pull her knickers down and smack her bum. I thought that went out with the 70's? I didnt know where to look. She was telling me about starting uni and everything but, I couldnt concentrate and what she was saying after that.

OP posts:
maypole1 · 02/09/2011 20:22

KnickersOnOnesHead nothing wrong with that I am sure she survived and her bum is fine and I bet she hasn't kicked you again

maypole1 · 02/09/2011 20:26

God with some parents views no wonder its hard to recruit teachers

My view os if my son dose not want to be shouted at then dnt give the teacher a reason to shout at you

Keep it zipped and do as your told simples

And if my son dared to talk back and tell a teacher to stop shouting at him he would also be in big trouble when he came home

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 02/09/2011 20:30

Yes, maypole but unfortunately, not all parents take your view. They would as soon 'go up the school' at the slightest hint that their precious darilng might have incurred so much as a raised eyebrow from the teacher...

Oblomov · 02/09/2011 20:34

Trinot, do you work in childcare ? Because I don't. I do accounts. But I tell you what, I have met some little buggers in my time. Most children are intrinsically nice. But not all. Some children are little toe-rags, Really they are. And thats the nice way of putting it, Some are little f**ckers. Or do you not believe that ?

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 02/09/2011 20:41

I do...Oblomov, most definitely. Wired up wrongly.

maypole1 · 02/09/2011 20:45

Oblomov personally I don't believe children are little buggers I believe its due to lack of discipline and this new fad of trying to be your childs BBF

You either get middle class parents who think its trendy to allow their children to express themselves I call it letting them do want they want

Were they read it on some bloody new age baby book

Or the underclass who just can't be arsed to give any boundaries

Againagainagain · 02/09/2011 20:52

trinot that just shows what utter crap you talk, my parents never smacked me, my mum believed in putting me in my bedroom or time out when I misbehaved

So your idea that I was a little sod because of how I was disciplined must mean that your way of parenting doesn't work then? Maybe you should get your head out those books and realise that all children are different

On the couple of occasions I was smacked it was by my gran when I was around 10, as I was a little sod from the minute I developed my own mind and thoughts ( age of 3 from what I remember) I think it was more my personality than the way I was disciplined, children do have personalities you know

HereBeBolloX · 02/09/2011 20:54

All the kids I've ever met who run around kicking other kids, headbutting people and generally behaving like loons, have parents who smack them.

Just sayin'

trinot · 02/09/2011 20:57

Oblomov, yes i do work in childcare and have had the advantage of seeing a lot of different children from a variety of backgrounds and abilities (rich, poor, sick children, children with special needs, children with no discipline and children who are smacked). I have had the opportunity experiment with different forms of discipline and techniques. The children I have cared for and my own child have enjoyed a respectful relationship with me and have ALL responded well to what I see as quite strict discipline based on respect for human beings, big and small. I have never and will never agree that some children are just bad. Every child is a product of their experiences. I will also never agree that smacking is a good form of discipline.

HereBeBolloX · 02/09/2011 21:11

"Keep it zipped and do as your told simples"

What a horrible attitude to anyone, adult or child. Sad

How is that encouraging critical thinking, courage or the confidence to stand up and tell the truth and do the right thing if it's called for?

The answer is, it's not. If you want to bring your kids up like that, go ahead. But don't tell anyone else that that should be the aim of parenting for everyone. I want my kids to be capable of doing more than keeping their mouths shut and their heads down - call me a pushy parent.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 02/09/2011 21:20

But there's a time and place, isn't there HereBeBolloX? If a teacher is teaching then children need to understand that they can't pipe up all the time and 'express themselves' whenever they feel like it. Sometimes they do just need to keep quiet and do as they're told. The 'truth' according to a child can also be very subjective indeed.

I would expect the teachers to maintain discipline and give fair amount of time to all the pupils and take no notice at all of 'pushy parents'.

trinot · 02/09/2011 21:23

here, here HereBeBolloX! In the past schools, orphanages ,churches ect were a very dangerous places for children where they were abused by adults who dominated them and a society say that children should respect adults blindly, put up and shut up or "Keep it zipped and do as your told simples". Lead to them continuing to be abuse. Now children are given a better example by most of society about the way children should be treated, what is acceptable and what isn't and when to speak up.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 02/09/2011 21:26

Are we talking about separate things now? Child abuse being one thing and discipline in teaching quite another? I feel like I've mis-stepped on an escalator... Confused

HereBeBolloX · 02/09/2011 21:27

yes of course there's a time and a place lyingwitch.

But I don't see why hitting people, teaches them when that time and place is.

HereBeBolloX · 02/09/2011 21:28

Discipline and child abuse in schools were one and the same thign for centuries, lying.

I think it's worth bearing that in mind.

trinot · 02/09/2011 21:29

you have missed the step,i was worried that might happen.

What I am saying is that it is a dangerous message to send to children that ALL adults MUST be respected regardless

Oblomov · 02/09/2011 21:30

Trinot, coming for a very caring, loved, never smacked, family. Stong, firm but fair, reasonable, etc etc. And I wqs never smacked, because i was never naughty. seriously. I know that sounds bizare, but really it is true. I have talked to my mum about this, and many things recently.
Base on this, I asumed that because I was minorly inteligent, and cared, that with a bit of love, discipline, and firm consistency, I would end up with easy to manage children. What a fool I was.
I wonder where you think I went wrong.
AM intrigued. Truely.

maypole1 · 02/09/2011 21:37

HereBeBolloX er who said anything about hitting I DO NOT HIT MY CHID

But its other right to do so as inshrined in law

Child abuse and the right to chastise a child are two different things and if you actually new anything about abuse as I do you would no the difference

But personally I think their is far to much of children expressing themselves now a days in schools

I am sure my sons teacher would agree while before summer he had to deal with a child who had brought in a air gun and when the child was challenged it spat at the head

Nmh

Far to much back chat or ringing mum on the bb to challenge what punishment is given

Sorry but my son is their to Lear yours might be their to back chat a express themselves but my child goes to learn.

maypole1 · 02/09/2011 21:41

trinot who the he'll is saying that but in general yes adults on the whole should be respected

Your views remind me of the riots brats um we deserve respect init and adults won't get respect until they give man

trinot · 02/09/2011 21:48

You are saying that. And then are saying it again.

HereBeBolloX · 02/09/2011 21:50

I know a lot about abuse thank you maypole.

I didn't actually understand your post.

Something about my children going to school to backchat.

That's not correct. That's just hysterical nonsense, isn't it?

RedHotPokers · 02/09/2011 21:51

HereBeBolloX - how do you know the well-behaved children don't get smacked by their parents. Is it a guess? Have they told you so - cos I think its already been established that some parents don't admit it.

Tbh, whilst I have occasionally smacked my DCs, I don't think I have ever done so in front of friends/school mums. I'm not sure I have even ever discussed it with anyone, it really hasn't come up IRL.

My parents smacked me and my DSis occasionally. Neither of us has ever been in any kind of trouble with authority, had any physical fights, and are civilised decent members of society.

HereBeBolloX · 02/09/2011 21:52

I also don't understand what you mean by there being far too much of children expressing themselves today in schools.

What does that actually mean?

trinot · 02/09/2011 21:53

oblomov, i sent you a PM

maypole1 · 02/09/2011 21:55

HereBeBolloX sadly I understood your post something about letting your child do want they want at school and express themselves

And seeing as you know so much about abuse you will know a tap on the hand at 4 is not the same as a parent beating you to near death at 12

Unless your crazy that is

Swipe left for the next trending thread