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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to make my husband drive all the way back to the shops (30 min each way)

159 replies

Oakmaiden · 31/08/2011 16:30

AIBU to make my husband drive all the way back to the shops (30 min each way) because he bought the wrong thing?

Background: my 7 year old daughter had her Grade 1 Tap exam today. She has worked REALLY hard for it - practising for nearly half an hour twice a day, and without being "instructed" to - just because she knew she should. I am really proud of the dedication and perseverance she has shown - as of course is my husband (her Daddy).

Since she had been working so hard we thought it would be nice to buy her a present to reward her hard work, which my husband chose and purchased at the supermarket before he came home (finished work at noon today). We gave her the gift when she came home after the exam (we didn't want to wait to find out the mark, because the reward is for her work, not for how well she has done) and she was really thrilled. Especially as it is really rare for us to buy gifts other than for birthdays/Christmas, and she wasn't expecting a gift at all.

Anyway - she opened it up, and it was a DS Dogs game - however, turns out my husband bought a game for the DS3D, and it won't fit into my daughter's DS. Cue tears of disappointment - particularly when my husband said to her "Never mind, I'll see if I have time to change it after work tomorrow."

I made him go now - yes, it is a half hour drive each way, but I just feel that after all her hard work and us giving her a gift and making such a big deal about how we were so proud of the effort she has made, for the gift then to be something she can't use but we will swop it "maybe tomorrow" is a bit too much of a damp squib for her.

My husband, naturally, thinks I am being unreasonable. Although he bloody well did as he was told, cos this is that sort of household. Grin I'm not being unreasonable am I? To think that she shouldn't have to wait til tomorrow, if it is possible (if a bit inconvenient) to sort it out today?

OP posts:
JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 01/09/2011 10:31

Some of the responses here are among the nastiest I've ever read on AIBU. OP - you've been very restrained. There are some real twats on this thread.

Sharney · 01/09/2011 10:44

izzy I see your point. I guess it depends on the child. Mine is 4 and I wouldn't have gone back and she wouldn't have fussed about it. If she did I'd have told her to "toughen up buttercup". My friends do think I'm harsh though.

LadyBoy · 01/09/2011 12:37

My DH would have driven back to change it straight away - without me having to prompt. So I think your DH is being unreasonable. I don't think you're teaching your DD a terrible message (!) and it is perfectly normal for a 7 year old to cry because of the situation!

SnakeOnCrack · 01/09/2011 13:49

Jaysus, talk about mountain out of a mole hill.

woowoo2 · 01/09/2011 14:12

OP you sound awful.

Your DD will end up the same way if you send messages like this one to her!

LadyBoy · 01/09/2011 14:20

OP you do not sound awful at all. How very unkind for people to say such hurtful things.

Original poster
Oakmaiden · 01/09/2011 14:31

Thank you Ladyboy. Obviously this thread keeps popping up in my "Your on" conversations, and I have to figuratively keep biting my lip to not keep coming back and defending myself yet again. I have found a lot of it quite hurtful, but that is a risk you take with AIBU I suppose.

Obviously when I had the situation outlined in the OP I didn't think I was being unreasonable. Then I wondered if perhaps I might have been, and so posted. Lots of people think it was unreasonable to send my husband, others that I should have made my daughter wait. Others disagree. All valid opinions which have been discussed. As it happens my husband on due consideration decided himself that I was not being unreasonable and that he had been initially.

The personal attacks are unnecessary, and I think it is more hurtful because I think they stem from misconceptions (which are my fault for my wording in the OP) but which I have also discussed and explained. But of course people don't bother reading my explanation. It is much more fun to just stroll up, spit some vitriol at me, and then walk away again.

On the plus side - I guess I don't know any of you, and in the end your views on my marriage and children don't effect reality at all. I try to think the best of people as a general rule. Clearly we are not all like that. As has been shown.

OP posts:
JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 01/09/2011 14:44

The personal attacks are bloody shocking.

Like I said upthread, I've seen some of the nastiest posts on this thread that I have ever seen on AIBU.

Utter, utter knobheads Angry

FairhairedandFrustrated · 01/09/2011 21:01

YANBU.

I would have done the same and have done in the past!

It won't make her a spoilt little madam, but teach her that she can depend on her parents to co-operate with her when things go wrong!

It will have made her feel important, as it should have today! :)

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